Being Mindful and Compassionate in Tough Conversations
/in Ambiguous Loss / Sense of Self, Anxiety, Couples Counseling, Death of a Loved One, Depression, Disordered Eating, Divorce, Domestic Violence/Abuse, Emotional Trauma, Family Counseling, Grief & Loss, LGBTQ+, Long Term Illness, Mental Health, Parenting, Post-Partum & Pre-Partum Depression, Race, Ethnicity & Cultural Identity, Relationship Issues, Sexual Addictions / Pornography, Sexual Function / Dysfunction, Sleep, Social Issues, Substance Use & Addiction, Telehealth, Trauma, Traumatic Loss / Suicide /by MarketingBeing Mindful and Compassionate in Tough Conversations
Reflecting on the last year, there are many tough conversations that have started, are taking place in the present moment, and have yet to be had.
Tough conversations often create discomfort and can lead to avoidance. There may be reluctance to speak up due to fear of consequences. What will people think? How do I manage my own anxiety? Consider for a moment that remaining silent during tough conversations also communicates a message. What message do you wish to convey?
Having tough conversations, including conversations about racial inequalities and social justice is important as we share responsibilities in our responses, and act in alignment with our values. At CARE, we are committed to diversity and human rights; therefore, we seek to create space for dialogue while being mindful and compassionate.
As we encounter others within conversation, being mindful and compassionate can make a huge difference.
Here are Some Ways to Practice Being Mindful and Compassionate in Tough Conversations
• Recognize and embrace our common humanity.
• Take care of yourself to be fully present for others.
• Step outside your comfort zone and lean into discomfort.
• Focus on relationship building. This includes people who are different than you.
• Practice having intentional dialogue using interpersonal effectiveness skills.
• Listen to understand. Be patient with others.
• Hold space for others’ pain—their stories, others’ experiences, and viewpoints.
• Notice what is going on in your body.
• Practicing mindfulness and self-compassion, offering yourself and others loving-kindness.
Written By: Charlotte Johnson MA, LPCC
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Stress + Staying at Home: The Rise of Intimate Partner Violence
/in Anxiety, CARE Counseling, Clinician Resources, Couples Counseling, Depression, Domestic Abuse, Domestic Violence/Abuse, Emotional Trauma, Family Counseling, Mental Health, Physical Trauma, Relationship Issues, Relationships & Self-Care, Self-Care, Sexual Trauma, Trauma, Witnessing Traumatic Experiences / PTSD /by MarketingStress + Staying at Home: The Rise of Intimate Partner Violence
Violence within intimate relationships is on the rise. Increased stress + staying at home + social isolation has help create a “perfect storm” for violence within the home. Being familiar with the types of abuse that can occur within relationships is an important step to recognize “red flags” to help yourself and/ or others who are experiencing or have experienced abuse during quarantine.
Relationship to the abuser does not require sexual intimacy and includes harm through forms of abuse that attempt to gain control by a current or former partner/ spouse. Intimate partner violence is considered a more inclusive term than domestic violence due to violence that can occur among heterosexual or same-sex couples. This can include physical violence, sexual violence, stalking, psychological harm through emotional or verbal abuse, financial abuse, and digital abuse.
According to the CDC, about 1 in 4 women and nearly 1 in 10 men have experienced sexual violence, physical violence, and/or stalking by an intimate partner during their lifetime.
Here is a brief definition of each form of abuse along with several “red flags” for abusive relationships.
- Physical Violence: when a person hurts or tries to hurt a partner by using physical force
- Red Flags: behaviors such as hitting, punching, kicking, slapping, shoving, or choking; use or threat of use of a weapon such as a knife, gun, or other object to inflict bodily harm
- Sexual Violence: when a person forces or attempts to force a partner to take part in a sex act, sexual touching, or a non-physical sexual event when the partner does not or cannot consent
- Red Flags: violation of one’s sexual boundaries; pressure, or coercion to engage in sexual activity; pressure to use drugs/ alcohol before engaging in sexual acts; attempts to control through preventing use of birth control or pressure into unwanted pregnancy
- Stalking: when someone repeatedly watches, follows, or harasses you, making you feel afraid or unsafe
- Red Flags: stalking one’s home or workplace, constant monitoring by the abuser or associate of the abuser which may include behavior to intimidate and harass one’s children
- Emotional and Verbal Abuse: use of verbal and non-verbal communication with the intent to harm another person mentally or emotionally and/or to exert control over another person
- Red Flags: threats (including threats using one’s pets, family, or children); excessive texting, constant monitoring or “checking in”, intimidation, insults, isolation, “gas-lighting”, placing blame on the victim for the abuse
- Financial Abuse- controlling a partner’s economic resources
- Red Flags: taking away money, refusal or limiting access to financial resources; insisting on shared financial resources then monitoring or limiting all access; creating dependence through preventing work or educational opportunities
- Digital Abuse- use of technology to bully, harass or intimidate
- Red Flags: Stalking through social media platforms, constant monitoring such as checking emails, listening in and answering private phone calls; attempts to embarrass, frighten, or humiliate on social media; threats of self-harm or suicide due to ended relationship, sending unwanted emails or messages
Red-flags-of-abuse can begin as subtle. A new relationship may move very quickly and feel good “too good to be true” at the start. The partner may be generous with flattery and attention. Subtle gestures to limit social interactions and activities may begin as well as psychological manipulation within the cycle of abuse.
Control. Jealousy. Anger.
Break-up. Make-up. Empty Promises.
Access to resources and supports may become limited. You may find yourself feeling afraid and anxious when around your partner or when they call. You may find yourself justifying physical signs of abuse, perhaps hiding bruising.
Individuals in abusive relationships may begin to blame themselves. They may feel scared or ashamed to get help.
Abuse is not your fault! Know where go for help. Here are some great resources that are available 24/7.
The National Domestic Violence Hotline
https://www.thehotline.org/
1-800-799-7233
The National Sexual Assault Hotline: Include resources for sexual assault, harassment, dating/ domestic violence, and other victims of crime
https://www.rainn.org/resources
1-800-656-4673
Anti-Violence Project: Includes resources for LGBTQIA+ and HIV positive survivors
https://avp.org/
Crisis Text Line: Text HOME to 741741
https://www.crisistextline.org/
Written By: Charlotte Johnson, MA, LPCC
We’re Here to help
Our wellness experts will be happy to take care of you. You can CLICK HERE to schedule an appointment now or call (612)223-8898.
Meet Clinicians
We’re united by our commitment to providing effective, relevant, and innovative mental health support at all stages of your journey. Click Here to find out more about who we are, where we come from, and how we live out CARE’s mission every day.
The professionals at CARE are actively collecting and creating resources to help with what you need. We’re Here for You.