One Year Anniversary of COVID-19: Reflections of a Therapist
Can you believe it has been one year since providing therapy exclusively through telehealth? Pandemic shutdowns have drastically altered our way of life. It has also had a major impact on mental health as 2020 was a year of big emotions and significant life-changing events.
Last Spring, pandemic-related anxiety was overwhelming as individuals were transitioning to work from home, figuring out how to share space, do distance learning, and keep themselves and others safe. Organizing, board-games/ puzzles, and Zoom social events lost their appeal as the months went on. Many people were feeling an increased sense of social isolation, depression, and anxiety. College students were moving back home. Dating and social life changed. While some families were feeling increased tension, others were enjoying the relaxed pace with decreased obligations.
Holidays were being celebrated within immediate households and ambiguous grief was felt. Loss was a theme interwoven within our families, communities, and nation. In May 2020, at least 4 out of 5 American’s mental health was being impacted by COVID. Our essential and frontline workers were amid it all.
The killing of George Floyd sparked raw emotions, visceral responses, and a call for action. There were peaceful protests as well as riots that left destruction. Trauma was being experienced within the body and mind. Therapy provided a space to process anger, fear/ anxiety, hypervigilance, hopelessness/ despair, and sleepless night. Psychological distress to disturbing content, including replaying of images ignited trauma triggers, especially for those who have experienced racism, police brutality, and trauma. This was a time for difficult conversations about systemic racism and White privilege–a reckoning for justice and social change. Individuals were seeking a safe space to process mixed emotions, including White guilt and the desire to be do more and become advocates/ allies for social change for the Black community, and the greater BIPOC community.
It was stressful, even dangerous being in quarantine during a time intimate partner violence, substance misuse, and mental health concerns were at an all-time high. While the summer months offered more opportunities to be outdoors, there was also adjustment to the disappointments due to changes with restrictions on travel and celebrations of milestone events. Individuals got creative with alternative ways to still celebrate, including prom and graduations.
The upcoming presidential election triggered new wave of emotions as many families experienced tension with family and friends with differing viewpoints about Black Lives Matter and political beliefs. Individuals were experiencing anxiety, panic attacks, and in some cases heart attacks with stress. Not feeling physically or emotionally safe was experienced by individuals within the BIPOC and LGBTQIA+ community, especially leading up to the election results. Many individuals were feeling more hopeful before the long, cold, and socially isolating winter set in. Depression and loneliness were common themes.
While many people are starting to adjust to the “new normal” of the pandemic and get vaccinated, there are still many uncertainties as schools, businesses, and entertainment venues begin to open. There are decisions about return to in-person activities, what it will be like to finally meet again in person. There are concerns about future outcomes and the implications of decisions. It is a balance of having time to reflect on the past and plan for the future, while live in the present. The last year has given us much to reflect. Within the pain and suffering, there is room for hope, growth, and renewal.
“We are powerful because we have survived, and that it what it is all about- survival and growth.” –Audre Lorde.
Written By: Charlotte Johnson, MA, LPCC
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Coping Over The Last Year… How Did We Do It?
As a follow up to reflection of a therapist blog, I wanted to capture strategies and themes that have helped build resilience and coping within our clients over the last year. Online therapy has been an amazing platform. It has been a privilege walk alongside individuals and families during this time in our history. Here is just a glimpse of the interventions and the themes that were helpful with coping.
• Maintaining continuity of care using telehealth
• Seeking out and maintaining social connections through quarantine
• Creating new routines and setting goals
• Laughing and play to help reduce depression
• Remembrance and mourning during grief/ loss
• Processing ambiguous loss and trauma
• Finding ways to build community to strengthen the community
• Taking action and showing support
• Showing kindness and expressing gratitude
• Focusing on self-care
• Caring for those who are suicidal, misusing drugs or alcohol, or in recovery
• Caring for those who are hurting, engaging in self injurious behavior
• Creating meaningful rituals and celebrations
• Focusing on priorities—understanding what “really matters”
• Connecting with self, family/ friends, pets, nature, and/or spirituality
• Communicating and setting boundaries
• Learning coping skills
• Investigating emotions with suppressing them
• Working with unhelpful thinking patterns
• Tuning into our bodies
• Engaging in movement
• Using mindfulness to help reduce anxiety and improve sleep
• Practicing mindfulness- including mindful eating and mindful sex
• Practicing self-compassion
• Increasing ability to cope with uncertainty
Written By: Charlotte Johnson, MA, LPCC
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How to Maintain Friendships When Feeling Depressed, Anxious, Etc…
Friendship is a beautiful thing—childhood friends, friends from school or college days, friendships formed through work, and other stages of life. Sometimes friends are made in the least expected places, bonding through pain, hardship, and times of suffering. Reaching out for help is not easy, nor is reaching out for social support when struggling with depression or anxiety.
When one is struggling with mental health, it can be difficult to maintain friendships. Yet, this is a time when we need support from friends. If you are feeling anxious or depressed, who are three people that you could call right now? When is the last time that you reached out to someone? Has it been in the last day, last week, last month?
We all have a need for social connection, through the good times and through the bad. It is especially important to maintain friendships while feeling depressed, anxious, etc.
Here are Three Ways to Maintain Friendships:
- Take a Step to be Vulnerable and Reach Out
• Start with small steps. Sending a simple text or making a phone call is a great start.
• A good starting point is to reach out to the top three names that come to your mind.
• Be open about what you are feeling and what would be helpful, perhaps just someone to listen.
• If you are lacking social supports, reach out to community supports or a mental health resource line. https://mn.gov/covid19/for-minnesotans/get-help/mental-health - Take Care of Your Mental Health
• A good friend can offer support but will not be able to “fix” your depression, anxiety, etc.
• Separate yourself from your mental health. For example, I am a person who is feeling depressed vs. I am depressed.
• Practice coping skills that encourage being able to tolerate negative emotions and build on social connection. One of my favorites is listed here: https://www.dbtselfhelp.com/html/accepts.html - Recognize that you are Important to Others
• Sometimes people are reluctant to reach out to friends as to not “burden” or stress out others. Although it may not feel like it during times of struggle, your friendship is a precious gift.
• Friendships give and take. How would you respond to a friend? Showing and receiving kindness, patience, and understanding are qualities of a great friendship.
“You are a piece of the puzzle of someone else’s life. You may never know where you fit, but others will fill the holes in their lives with pieces of you.” -Bonnie Arbor
Written By: Charlotte Johnson, MA, LPCC
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Why Every American Should CARE About Black History Month
Featuring Jonathan Palmer with Hallie Q. Brown Community Center
History Matters. Black Lives Matter. Dr. Carter G. Woodson, influential author, editor, publisher, and historian (December 1875 – April 1950), is known as the “Father of Black History”. One the biggest challenges is how to stay engaged beyond the month of February. By only caring about Black history during the month in February, we downplay the contributions of Black Americans in history.
Dr. Woodson strongly believed the importance of recognizing, recording, and reflecting on the significant contributions of Black Americans in US/history. Woodson undertook recording these tasks by establishing the Association for the Study of Negro Life and History (now called the Association for the Study of African American Life and History (ASALH)), the Journal of Negro History, and Negro History Week which was first celebrated in 1926. Woodson’s message was that “Blacks should be proud of their heritage and that other Americans should also understand it”. Woodson’s goal was to increase the visibility of Black history by proving to a White America the important roles Black Americans had in creating history; therefore, Black Americans also deserving equal treatment as citizens. Dr. Woodson’s excellent historical research not only recognized and recorded the contributions of Black Americans, but forced the recognition of their legitimate place in US History.
This is the fundamental point that needs to be recognized:
Black history is history, period. When Garrett Morgan invented the gas mask and the three position traffic signal, they weren’t only used in Black communities. When Marie Van Brittan Brown invented the first home security system, security systems weren’t put into only Black houses. Black Americans from Crispus Attucks through Barack Obama and beyond have been a part of and contributed significantly to our country and our history, yet because of the prevalence of systemic racism woven into the fabric of our society, they are largely ignored, denied or dusted off and hauled out in February only to be shelved on March 1st and forgotten. We do a disservice to everyone in this country, and in fact the world, by continuing this practice. It is far past time to remove the blinders and barriers and accept Black history as history.
Black History Month does still have a place though. It is a great opportunity to do a deeper dive into topics, to elevate and highlight people, places, events and more so that they can be studied and taught beyond February. Black History Month is a great time to celebrate the contributions as we integrate them more fully into our knowledge and practices. Further, as we seek to balance the scales and right the injustices of Slavery, Jim Crow, Segregation, the unwarranted killing of Black people and so much more, the attention focused on an effort helps to validate and elevate the idea and principle that Black lives do matter and have value, and the impact that makes for young children of color is immeasurable.
There is another very important reason why every American should care about Black History Month that is often overlooked: the impact on White people.
White has been incorrectly considered the default for so long in this country that it is often undistinguished from “American”, we don’t study “White history”, there is no “White Entertainment Television, and outside of the KKK and Proud Boys we don’t refer to organizations as “White”, but we do have Black History Month, Black Entertainment Television and Black organizations, all because they are defined in contrast to White as being the default. This imparts an inherent superiority and segmentation that subconsciously elevates White people while reducing all other ethnic groups. It creates a power imbalance that reinforces systemic racism. And it has become so inured in our culture, that a growing number of White people don’t understand the dynamic and instead decry that it is unfair that we have these efforts and complain that we don’t put the same focus on White people that we do on BIPOC people. They actually complain that there is no “White Entertainment Television”.
This is the impact, the lack of awareness of Black history has. Not merely the resentment and hostility of overt racism, but the subtlety of friendships never gained, significance not understood and people undervalued. We do a disservice to the very nature of our society by omitting a crucial part of OUR history and culture. Black history is an integral part of America and until we fully embrace and understand this, we won’t really be the UNITED States of America.
Black History month has been officially recognized in both the United States and Canada, but beyond that, it has in recent years been celebrated in Ireland, the Netherlands, and the United Kingdom. While the US and Canada observe it in February, the other countries observe it in October. We are at the foundation of this crucial cornerstone of culture and we have the ability to lead the way. Woodson inspired other great researchers and continues to inspire Black Americans and others including educators, scholars, philanthropists, and companies committed towards diversity and inclusion. Every American should care about Black History Month because it began with us and can continue to be our gift to the world.
Our challenge: to CARE More. To remember, preserve and honor Black history. To work together in strengthening Black families and communities. To inspire through cultivating leadership and advancing social justice.
Black history is history and EVERYONE should care about it.
Written by:
Jonathan Palmer, Executive Director
Hallie Q. Brown Community Center, Inc.
Charlotte Johnson, Supervisor and Mental Health Professional
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No Name Calling Week
No Name Calling Week (January 18th- 22nd, 2021) falls during the same week of the presidential inauguration and is just weeks before Twin Cities educators are preparing for the transition to classroom learning for K-5th grade students.
No Name Calling week focuses on creating inclusion and awareness for LGBTQ students within K-12th grade schools to ensure a safe learning environment free from name-calling and bullying due to sexual orientation, gender identity, and gender expression. Events and resources seek to promote a learning environment free from harassment and discrimination by sharing tools and resources.
No Name Calling week was inspired by the book “The Misfits” written by James Howe, created by GLSEN https://www.glsen.org/ and Simon & Schuster Children’s Publishing http://www.simonandschusterpublishing.com/no-name-calling/, with over 40 national partnerships.
In the midst of trauma impacting our community and nation, students of color and LGBTQ youth commonly experience societal stigmas, bullying, harassment, and violence at higher rates than their straight youth.
According to the National Center for Educational Statistics, 2019 , 1 in every 5 students report being bullied.
70.1% of LGBTQ students were verbally bullied (e.g., called names, threatened) because of their sexual orientation, 59.1% because of their gender expression, and 53.2% based on gender (Kosciw, Greytak, Zongrone, Clark, & Truong, 2018).
Now more than ever, it is important to unite by facilitating ongoing dialogue focused on eliminating bullying and working towards creating a safe learning environment. Parents, educators, and mental health/ health care providers can work together to support children and youth who are struggling.
There are significant emotional and health physical impacts, especially considering the negative impacts of name-calling on one’s sense of self, especially when name-calling directly targets one’s identity. The effects of name-calling can impact one’s self-esteem and limit one’s own beliefs about their self. Mental health support is helpful to target internalized messages such as self-hate, self-doubt, insecurities, and depressive thinking, resulting from negative self-talk. The CARE team includes specialists who work with LGBTQ youth, those struggling with negative self-talk, as well as the parents and educators who are supporting our youth.
Check out these mental health, educational, and bullying prevention resources, focused on creating inclusion and awareness for LGBTQ youth.
https://www.glsen.org/no-name-calling-week
• Ideas how to participate in No-Name Calling Week
http://www.simonandschusterpublishing.com/no-name-calling/
• List of bullying prevention books for kids, teens, and adults
• Bullying Prevention downloadable book discussion guides
• Downloadable elementary, middle school, and high school lesson plan
https://www.pacer.org/bullying/
• Information and resources for parents, students, and educators, includes a variety of great downloadable tools and statistics.
https://www.pacerkidsagainstbullying.org/
PACER’s Kids Against Bullying Website
https://www.pacerteensagainstbullying.org/
PACER’s Teens Against Bullying Website
https://www.mnteenmentalhealth.org/lgbtq-resources
Minnesota Teen Mental Health Directory for LGBTQ+ youth resources
Written by: Charlotte Johnson MA, LPCC
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Being Mindful and Compassionate in Tough Conversations
Reflecting on the last year, there are many tough conversations that have started, are taking place in the present moment, and have yet to be had.
Tough conversations often create discomfort and can lead to avoidance. There may be reluctance to speak up due to fear of consequences. What will people think? How do I manage my own anxiety? Consider for a moment that remaining silent during tough conversations also communicates a message. What message do you wish to convey?
Having tough conversations, including conversations about racial inequalities and social justice is important as we share responsibilities in our responses, and act in alignment with our values. At CARE, we are committed to diversity and human rights; therefore, we seek to create space for dialogue while being mindful and compassionate.
As we encounter others within conversation, being mindful and compassionate can make a huge difference.
Here are Some Ways to Practice Being Mindful and Compassionate in Tough Conversations
• Recognize and embrace our common humanity.
• Take care of yourself to be fully present for others.
• Step outside your comfort zone and lean into discomfort.
• Focus on relationship building. This includes people who are different than you.
• Practice having intentional dialogue using interpersonal effectiveness skills.
• Listen to understand. Be patient with others.
• Hold space for others’ pain—their stories, others’ experiences, and viewpoints.
• Notice what is going on in your body.
• Practicing mindfulness and self-compassion, offering yourself and others loving-kindness.
Written By: Charlotte Johnson MA, LPCC
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We’re united by our commitment to providing effective, relevant, and innovative mental health support at all stages of your journey. Click Here to find out more about who we are, where we come from, and how we live out CARE’s mission every day.
The professionals at CARE are actively collecting and creating resources to help with what you need. We’re Here for You.
Why is Therapy Valuable?
Imagine success…becoming the best version of yourself. That is one of the many amazing benefits of therapy. Since mental illness alters a person’s thoughts, feelings, and/ or behaviors in distinct ways, therapy helps one gain better control of these areas.
I like to reframe the benefits of therapy for anyone who is struggling with understanding, expressing, or coping with their thoughts, feelings, or behavior.
Therapy provides a safe space to talk, an outlet to express, and a nonjudgmental ear to listen.
Clients come to therapy for many different reasons. Some people feel alone, misunderstood, isolated. Others feel overwhelmed and anxious. Life is stressful and you do not need to go through it alone. Therapy helps normalize these experiences and provide a “roadmap” how to navigate through them.
Therapy is a place where you can be vulnerable, to feel seen and heard. To work through stressors or trauma and process uncomfortable emotions such as shame.
The benefits of therapy can directly impact one’s view of self and others. It can lead to increasing understanding through gaining insight. The therapist can assist with questions to ponder, and techniques that may offer a fresh perspective.
Skills and strategies learned in therapy offer long-term benefits not only for one’s emotional health but also physical health. It leads to improved feelings of self-worth and confidence. Therapy can improve relationships and boundary setting. It teaches and builds healthy coping skills. Your therapist can help you develop daily habits that set you up for success.
Whether you have been thinking about seeing a therapist for many years or have recently thought about therapy and would like to take a proactive approach, here is what wellness looks like:
• Expressing thoughts & feelings
• Coping with stress & setbacks
• Having a sense of purpose & meaning
• Using your knowledge & skills
• Maintaining physical health (diet, nutrition, sleep, exercise)
• Creating a pleasant & safe environment
• Finding satisfaction with financial & work situation
• Developing healthy relationships & supports
Written by: Charlotte Johnson MA, LPCC
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Our wellness experts will be happy to take care of you. You can CLICK HERE to schedule an appointment now or call (612)223-8898.
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We’re united by our commitment to providing effective, relevant, and innovative mental health support at all stages of your journey. Click Here to find out more about who we are, where we come from, and how we live out CARE’s mission every day.
The professionals at CARE are actively collecting and creating resources to help with what you need. We’re Here for You.
Ambiguous Grief
How are you coping this holiday season?
In response to the latest restrictions involving social gatherings and measures that have been taken in general to stay safe with Coronavirus, things will look much different this year. I know for myself, I will be celebrating at home. The physical presence of family/ friends who usually gather at this time of year with me will be missed. Many of us are mourning the loss of holiday traditions as we know them. I describe it as an experience of ambiguous grief. While our loved ones may still be alive and even live nearby, they can feel distant. The physical separation can be such a painful loss. I am grateful for the advances in technology that have allowed us to continue work, school, and social interactions in ways that would otherwise not be possible. This does not; however, replace the experience of meeting someone face-to-face and sharing an embrace. Parents, grandparents, friends, and family are grieving as they mourn ambiguous loss, perhaps searching for answers to bring some comfort.
The loss is ambiguous as we are uncertain how long it will last. The effects of prolonged uncertainty take both a toll on one’s physical and mental well-being. Many people have already lost so much…jobs, financial security, COVID-related deaths. Accomplishments such as graduating high school/ college and celebrations such as birthdays and anniversaries have looked different as do the holidays. The stages of grief can be helpful to recognize and name some of the emotions you may be feeling right now. Denial. Anger. Bargaining. Depression. Acceptance. There is no “right” way to grieve and this will look different for each person. For some, acceptance may come faster than others and we may go back and forth among various stages.
So what now?
One thing that has been helpful when feeling a strong difficult emotion is to think in terms of opposites. Recognizing ambiguous grief, leaning into the emotion to mourn and move through it as we grieve with others can provide space to celebrate what remains. As we enter into a season of Thanksgiving, I am choosing to express gratitude–to notice and appreciate the important people and things that remain in my life. One theme that has definitely come up this year is noticing what really matters when you begin to remove all the distractions from life.
For those of you who watch Charlie Brown around the holidays, I am reminded of the Charlie Brown Christmas tree and Linus’ response to “I never thought it was such a bad little tree. It’s not bad at all, really. Maybe it just needs a little love.” Here are some additional strategies to help cope during times of ambiguous grief around the Thanksgiving holiday.
Notice the Positives:
What is going well? Do you find yourself focusing on the negative or positive aspects of your life/ circumstances? Try writing down three things each day and reflect on these.
Reflect:
Where are my priorities? What really matters? Where do I find my source of happiness? Am I able to experience joy in my life? Who can I lean on for support? What brings me comfort? What am I thankful for?
Express Gratitude:
Take time to slow down and notice who and what you are grateful for, and express this! Try being creative in your expression of gratitude such as dance, writing letters, journaling, volunteering, verbalizing words aloud, meditating, prayer, silence, etc. The possibilities are endless!
Discover Hope:
Are you able to find a source of peace, happiness, and even your within the midst of your circumstances? Reflection on one’s values and cultural identity can be helpful in understanding how you view the world. If you would like a place to reflect and process values, identity, and/ or existential concerns, therapy can be a great place to do so. Try investing in new or different traditions this year. Take time to nurture your body and mind rather than escaping or numbing with self-destructive behaviors.
Seek Support:
Reach out to your friends and family. Don’t be afraid to reach out for community support. If you are currently struggling with anxiety, depression, or grief/ loss, CARE is happy to help.
There are also excellent local and crisis resources available such as the National Suicide Lifeline: 800-273-8255 for 24/7 support.
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The professionals at CARE are actively collecting and creating resources to help with what you need. We’re Here for You.
Masks + Hidden Identity
Halloween is a favorite holiday for not only many children, but also adults. I love to see the creative expression of elaborate makeup and costumes. What other time of year is it socially acceptable to get dressed up, to express yourself in whatever way you’d like, and not feel judged?
The sad fact is that individuals in the LGBTQ+ community often feel as if they are wearing a “mask” every day of the year. Imagine what it would be like to feel that your true identity was hidden–feeling pressure to conform, especially when it often does not feel safe to express your gender identity or sexual orientation. When people in the LGBTQ+ community do try to express identity, they may be met with comments that misconstrue or make a “caricature” of their sexuality.
LGBTQ+ people often experience assumptions around their gender or sexual identity. For example, if I identify as bisexual, that does not mean that I want to have a sexual or romantic relationship with all my friends. If I identify as bisexual and am married to someone of the opposite gender, someone may incorrectly believe me to be “straight” or “not really bisexual”. Acquaintances might conclude that because I identify as female, my romantic partner is male. Strangers or friends might identify me as a certain gender based on my physical appearance. These are all examples of common and hurtful assumptions, and there are dozens of examples like these that hold true for the genderqueer community.
Those who identify as bisexual, pansexual, lesbian, gay, transgender, asexual, genderqueer, having a gender identity that exists on a continuum, and those who identify as nonbinary or another gender often feel the pressure to conform due to social pressures, especially moving among family, friends, and colleagues who often operate from a heteronormative view. There is significant stress associated with having to make a value judgment of being one’s authentic self and coming out. At times, the rejection and misunderstanding associated with coming out feels too difficult to overcome. At this point, many LGBTQ+ people feel that it is easier to internalize their emotional pain and continue wearing the mask.
The Not Fun Side of Wearing a “Mask”
- Feeling pressure to keep on the mask and feeling fatigue to keep up a persona that differs from one’s true identity
- The emotional labor of managing others’ discomfort or rejection when the mask is taken off versus keeping the mask on and managing your own internal pain for not being seen fully
- Internalized homo/bi/trans/queerphobia: internalization of negative social attitudes towards the LGBTQ+ community
- Fear of rejection and loss, especially among family members or friends if one’s true identity was revealed and they “came out”
- Being judged unfairly or misunderstood; people making harmful assumptions about one’s pronouns, gender, or sexual orientation, etc.
- Experiences of harassment, bullying, and abuse
Statistics from the Trevor Project:
68% of LGBTQ youth reported symptoms of generalized anxiety disorder in the past two weeks, including more than 3 in 4 transgender and nonbinary youth
48% of LGBTQ youth reported engaging in self-harm in the past twelve months, including over 60% of transgender and nonbinary youth
40% of LGBTQ respondents seriously considered attempting suicide in the past twelve months, with more than half of transgender and nonbinary youth having seriously considered suicide
Transgender and nonbinary youth who reported having pronouns respected by all or most people in their lives attempted suicide at half the rate of those who did not have their pronouns respected
1 in 3 LGBTQ youth reported that they had been physically threatened or harmed in their lifetime due to their LGBTQ identity
61% of transgender and nonbinary youth reported being prevented or discouraged from using a bathroom that corresponds with their gender identity
Halloween marks the beginning of a season when people often spend time gathered with their close family and friends. For people in the LGBTQ+ community, this season can be immensely painful and isolating. With that in mind, here are a few ways to positively engage your loved ones who identify as LGBTQ+:
Educate Yourself
Rather than relying on your loved one in the LGBTQ+ to educate you, seek out resources to understand the different nuances, struggles, and complexities that LGBTQ+ people experience. Everyone has their own beautiful, unique story. Making generalizations and assumptions prevent us from really knowing each other.
Create Safe Spaces
Create safe spaces for LGBTQ+ people in your life. Ask about pronouns, gender identity, and sexual identity before making assumptions. Speak up against phobic language or language that dehumanizes others.
Practice Curiosity
Ask your loved one how they would like to be supported by you. Ask if there are changes to your environment, conversations, or interactions that can be made to help them feel more welcomed and seen.
Think Before You Ask
Practice awareness of how your own biases impact your worldview, questions, and assumptions. Many people ask “When did you first know you were gay/lesbian/bisexual/transgender/nonbinary/etc?” However, the same question is not asked to people who identify as straight or cisgender.
Accept
Everyone longs to be loved and known for their true identity. There is no gift more powerful that to be seen and accepted for who you really are.
Resources:
The Trevor Project: National 24-hour, toll free confidential suicide hotline for LGBTQ youth.
https://www.thetrevorproject.org/survey-2020/?section=Introduction
Trans Lifeline: Call 877-565-8860. Anonymous and confidential
https://translifeline.org/
Centers for Disease Control and Prevention: Resources for youth, friends, family, educators, and other supports
https://www.cdc.gov/lgbthealth/youth-resources.htm
Outfront MN: A leader in LBGTQ+ equality
https://www.outfront.org/resources’
Written by: Charlotte Johnson, MA, LPCC and Hannah Parish, M.A.
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The professionals at CARE are actively collecting and creating resources to help with what you need. We’re Here for You.
7 Step Holiday Self-CARE Plan
1. Simplify and slow down
With your to-do list growing, it may feel like you need to be in multiple places at once; however, what we know about the brain is that it cannot think 2 things at once. So, focus your entire attention to the task at hand rather than jumping from task to task (aka multitasking).
2. Be where you want to be
If you don’t feel like traveling, you deserve to stay home. If you don’t feel like being home, find a place that feels right for you. If you arrive somewhere and it is not feeling aligned for what you are needing, it is okay to excuse yourself. Wherever is comfortable for you is the perfect place to be.
3. Put down the phones
I know, I said it. Just hear me out. Often times social media can impact our level of stress by comparing ourselves to others, especially when those others seem to have it all together. They have the catalog ready decorations, Martha Stewarts holiday food spread, or gifts we cannot afford. This can lead us into a down spiral. So, try to limit your access to your phone and engage with those around you.
4. Take a break
You have the right to take a minute (or more) for yourself. If you need a moment to step away from the holiday stress, tell those around you that you “need a break.” Grab a hot chocolate if you need an excuse to leave the room. Take a nap if you’re tired. You don’t have to be busy if you don’t want to be. Tune into what you need in that moment. You cannot pour from an empty cup! Remember to fill your cup in ways that work for you.
5. Give yourself credit
Have you ever looked back on your day and said “I didn’t do anything today”? That is a negative over generalization and can lead to feeling more defeated. Instead, remember to give yourself credit for ALL of the things you do throughout your day – from waking up, eating, brushing your teeth, and the list goes on. Before you know it, you will be mindful of how much you actually do, even if it is not on your growing holiday to-do list.
6. Gratitude
Research is growing on the importance and efficacy of practicing gratitude in daily life. Our brains are inherently negative so being intentional about shifting out of the holiday stress (and negativity) can help bring perspective and renew our enjoyment of the season.
- Write down things you are thankful for in life. Focus on the small things (i.e., clean water, fresh air, etc). Nothing is too small to be grateful for in life.
- Reflect one thing you believe you did well over the past year.
- Compare yourself to a time in your past when you might have handled the holiday stress less effectively.
7. Feel how you feel
If today isn’t the day for holiday songs and cookie baking, that’s okay. Take a day for yourself without putting on a brave face or pretending everything is okay. If today feels like you might want to do something fun, do it! Don’t be afraid for others to see you and how you are feeling. The holidays are full of powerful emotions. You don’t have to feel how anyone expects you to feel.
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