Mental Strength & Psychological Endurance
/in CARE Counseling, Death of a Loved One, Depression, Grief & Loss, Identity, Mental Health, Race, Ethnicity & Cultural Identity, Self-Esteem, Self-Harm, Traumatic Loss / Suicide /by MarketingMental Strength & Psychological Endurance
Enduring conditions that tap into deleted energy sources is not easy. We need mental strength to persevere. Athletes know this well. Performance-driven individuals can relate. Parents know what I am talking about. Survivors are witness to this. What happens when faced with multiple blows? An athlete who experiences a life-changing injury that alters the course of their game. A Black mother whose child has died after another police shooting. A victim of domestic abuse who is living in a constant state of alert. A community that experiences collective trauma again and again.
Communities of color have been especially hit hard by COVID-related deaths, followed by the killings of George Floyd and Daunte Wright. It is with a heavy heart that we experience another wave of trauma amid adversities that individuals, families, and communities continue to manage day by day.
“Too much, too soon, too fast” is often used to describe trauma that overwhelms. When psychological stressors reach a peak, we find ourselves feeling overwhelmed and no longer able to perform. It may be hard to be fully present in relationships or difficult to get out of bed in the morning. Our bodies and minds are tapped out. Thoughts are distracted. Sleep is disrupted. Fatigue sets in. We may be tempted to give up, to lose hope and go through difficulties alone.
Sports psychology offers strategies that can help build resiliency to be mentally-strong. Therapy also can help. When faced with hardship, I would love to come along side you. To hold space, tap into your mental strengths, motivate, and encourage you for the days ahead.
In the race to fight systemic racism, we’ve experienced another loss. A setback. The pain is excruciating. It will take time to mourn and heal before moving forward. Caregivers and helping professionals will need energy and strength to help as we cope with the emotions and uncertainties ahead. Take time to seek out and connect to resources.
Here are some resources specific to self-care for the BIPOC community during the Chauvin trial.
A special thank you to our CARE therapist Noemi Lopez, for sending over these resources and finding new ways to better CARE for our community.
• https://namimn.org/bipoc/
• Self-Care Tips for Black People Who Are Feeling Overwhelmed by Racism (vice.com)
• https://www.apa.org/res/parent-resources/racial-stress-tool-kit.pdf
• Resources for the Derek Chauvin Trial – Guild (guildservices.org)
• https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fLlFSWgK2y4
In addition, here are some practical ideas that we can apply right now to help improve resilience.
- Establish Daily Healthy Habits
Having a strong foundation of healthy habits such as getting adequate sleep, food, and exercise are so important. Daily rituals lead to successful outcome of goals and give us the strength and motivation to endure. - Focus on Self-Care
Listen to what your body needs. Do you need more rest? A day off? Social connection? Time to grieve? Space to process emotions? Especially during difficult times, it is important to be in tune with your body and mind. Focusing on self-care is a great strategy to help manage stress. - Connect with Your Emotions
Take time to experience and process your emotions such as sadness, anger, and anxiety. Be vulnerable to experience your emotions with others. - Seek Support
Individual, family, and community supports are great places to seek help, share your experiences, and gain support. Family, friends, religious/ spiritual communities, advocacy groups, support/ connection groups, and mental health resources are all outlets. - Maintain & Visualize Hope for the Future
While it can be difficult to stay positive, visualize finding strength and hope during hardship. Make an impact to help the BIPOC community. Take action in meaningful ways.
“There are opportunities even in the most difficult moments.”
–Wangari Maathai, Unbowed
Written By: Charlotte Johnson, MA, LPCC
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Our wellness experts will be happy to take care of you. You can CLICK HERE to schedule an appointment now or call (612)223-8898.
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The professionals at CARE are actively collecting and creating resources to help with what you need. We’re Here for You.
One Year Anniversary of COVID-19: Reflections of a Therapist
/in Ambiguous Loss / Sense of Self, Anxiety, CARE Counseling, CARING for the Community, COVID-19, Depression, Family, Race, Ethnicity & Cultural Identity, Relationship Issues, Relationships & Self-Care, Social Issues, Telehealth /by MarketingOne Year Anniversary of COVID-19: Reflections of a Therapist
Can you believe it has been one year since providing therapy exclusively through telehealth? Pandemic shutdowns have drastically altered our way of life. It has also had a major impact on mental health as 2020 was a year of big emotions and significant life-changing events.
Last Spring, pandemic-related anxiety was overwhelming as individuals were transitioning to work from home, figuring out how to share space, do distance learning, and keep themselves and others safe. Organizing, board-games/ puzzles, and Zoom social events lost their appeal as the months went on. Many people were feeling an increased sense of social isolation, depression, and anxiety. College students were moving back home. Dating and social life changed. While some families were feeling increased tension, others were enjoying the relaxed pace with decreased obligations.
Holidays were being celebrated within immediate households and ambiguous grief was felt. Loss was a theme interwoven within our families, communities, and nation. In May 2020, at least 4 out of 5 American’s mental health was being impacted by COVID. Our essential and frontline workers were amid it all.
The killing of George Floyd sparked raw emotions, visceral responses, and a call for action. There were peaceful protests as well as riots that left destruction. Trauma was being experienced within the body and mind. Therapy provided a space to process anger, fear/ anxiety, hypervigilance, hopelessness/ despair, and sleepless night. Psychological distress to disturbing content, including replaying of images ignited trauma triggers, especially for those who have experienced racism, police brutality, and trauma. This was a time for difficult conversations about systemic racism and White privilege–a reckoning for justice and social change. Individuals were seeking a safe space to process mixed emotions, including White guilt and the desire to be do more and become advocates/ allies for social change for the Black community, and the greater BIPOC community.
It was stressful, even dangerous being in quarantine during a time intimate partner violence, substance misuse, and mental health concerns were at an all-time high. While the summer months offered more opportunities to be outdoors, there was also adjustment to the disappointments due to changes with restrictions on travel and celebrations of milestone events. Individuals got creative with alternative ways to still celebrate, including prom and graduations.
The upcoming presidential election triggered new wave of emotions as many families experienced tension with family and friends with differing viewpoints about Black Lives Matter and political beliefs. Individuals were experiencing anxiety, panic attacks, and in some cases heart attacks with stress. Not feeling physically or emotionally safe was experienced by individuals within the BIPOC and LGBTQIA+ community, especially leading up to the election results. Many individuals were feeling more hopeful before the long, cold, and socially isolating winter set in. Depression and loneliness were common themes.
While many people are starting to adjust to the “new normal” of the pandemic and get vaccinated, there are still many uncertainties as schools, businesses, and entertainment venues begin to open. There are decisions about return to in-person activities, what it will be like to finally meet again in person. There are concerns about future outcomes and the implications of decisions. It is a balance of having time to reflect on the past and plan for the future, while live in the present. The last year has given us much to reflect. Within the pain and suffering, there is room for hope, growth, and renewal.
“We are powerful because we have survived, and that it what it is all about- survival and growth.” –Audre Lorde.
Written By: Charlotte Johnson, MA, LPCC
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Our wellness experts will be happy to take care of you. You can CLICK HERE to schedule an appointment now or call (612)223-8898.
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We’re united by our commitment to providing effective, relevant, and innovative mental health support at all stages of your journey. Click Here to find out more about who we are, where we come from, and how we live out CARE’s mission every day.
The professionals at CARE are actively collecting and creating resources to help with what you need. We’re Here for You.
Women & Mental Health
/in Anxiety, CARE Counseling, Clinician Resources, Depression, Family, Identity, Mental Health, Race, Ethnicity & Cultural Identity, Self-Esteem, Women's Health /by MarketingWomen & Mental Health
According to the National Institute of Mental Health, nearly 1 in 5 adults live with mental-illness. While the rates for mental health are similar for all adults, there are unique differences that impact women-patients across all cultural and socioeconomic backgrounds such as depression, anxiety, trauma, and eating disorders.
Women and Mental Health
Source: World Health Organization, Center for Disease Control, & National Institute of Mental Health
Depression and Anxiety
• Depression is 2Xs more common in women than in men.
• Generalized anxiety is also 2Xs more likely in women.
• Depression, posttraumatic stress disorder, anxiety, and suicidal ideation are common among women who have experienced physical, sexual, and other forms of violence.
Eating Disorders
• A lifetime prevalence of anorexia nervosa was 3Xs higher in women.
• Binge eating disorder was 2Xs as high.
• Prevalence of bulimia nervosa was 5Xs higher in women.
• Teens and young adult women are especially at risk of developing an eating disorder.
Hormonal Changes
• Mental health symptoms can be triggered by hormonal changes such as depression with pregnancy, postpartum, menstruation, or perimenopause.
• Approximately 1 in 8 women in the US experience symptoms of postpartum depression; in some states this is as high as 1 in 5 women.
Rape, Sexual Assault, and Violence
• 91% of rape and sexual assault victims in the US are women.
• Nearly 1 in 5 women will experience rape or attempted rape in their lifetime.
• Neary 1 in 4 women have experienced severe physical violence from an intimate partner in their lifetime.
• 1 in 3 women globally experience violence.
Objectification, Harassment, and Microaggression
• Objectification of girls/ women, sexual harassment, and repeated microaggressions can lead to violence and negatively impact mental health including self-esteem.
Risk factors for women include inequalities in socioeconomic status including low income/ social status, experience of gender-based violence, and being a primary caretaker. Historically, women in the US have been denied opportunities based on gender as well as individuals and women within the LGBTQIA+ and BIPOC community. It can feel empowering to talk to another female about these concerns within the safety of a therapeutic relationship. While you and your therapist may not share the exact lived experience, there is power in bearing witness to one’s story—the beauty and the pain.
For online resources specific to mental health for women, check out the Massachusetts General Hospital (MGH) Center for Women’s Mental Health Productive Psychiatry Resource Information Center. https://womensmentalhealth.org/resource/
Written By: Charlotte Johnson, MA, LPCC
We’re Here to help
Our wellness experts will be happy to take care of you. You can CLICK HERE to schedule an appointment now or call (612)223-8898.
Meet Clinicians
We’re united by our commitment to providing effective, relevant, and innovative mental health support at all stages of your journey. Click Here to find out more about who we are, where we come from, and how we live out CARE’s mission every day.
The professionals at CARE are actively collecting and creating resources to help with what you need. We’re Here for You.
The Happiness Myth
/in Acting Out & Temper Tantrums, CARE Counseling, Depression, Mental Health, Self-Esteem /by MarketingThe Happiness Myth
“I just want to be happy”. This should not be happening to me. We tell ourselves that we should feel happy. I will be happy after I _____ become, achieve, obtain… Then why is one still unhappy during their pursuit of happiness?
Dr. Russ Harris is a therapist who uses Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) and author of the book “The Happiness Trap”. He has an excellent video that explores three common myths that can hold us back from experiencing happiness.
Check out the video here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=93LFNtcR1Ok
Three Happiness Myths:
1. Happiness is the natural state for human beings.
Many people expect to be happy, that this should be the natural baseline and anything less is not OK. Our natural state is ever changing, like the weather and so are the emotions that we experience. We experience brilliant moments of sunshine, partly cloudy days, and times where we don’t see the sun at all. Rain may come as a gentle trickle and snow as a soft dusting but can also be experienced as a torrential downpour or snowstorm.
2) Happiness means we always feel good.
Have you ever noticed how fleeting emotional states can be? Milestone events that evoke feelings of “happy ever after” such as a marriage/ relationships, career or personal achievement do not mean that we will now experience happiness. In fact, researchers have found that there are moments of great discomfort within the pursuit. Along with pleasure there are also moments of pain. Happiness may be better described as an emotional state that provides one with a sense of meaning and contentment rather going from one major moment of happiness to the next.
3) If you are not happy, you are defective.
“There must be something wrong with me if I am not happy”. If one is unhappy, this does mean that you are defective! What would it be like to notice whatever emotional state you are feeling, identify where this is experienced in the body, and listen empathetically to understand? By moving towards acceptance, one can better learn how to sit with discomfort and cope with the ever-changing state of emotions. Perhaps it is time for a change such as learning new skills, setting goals, investing in new relationships, or practicing self-compassion.
ACT utilizes mindfulness and acceptance along with commitment and behavioral strategies. By learning mindfulness skills, one can learn to live and act in ways that are consistent with their personal values. The goal is to increase psychological flexibility. Therapists at CARE Counseling have been trained to utilize ACT approaches.
Schedule here
Written By: Charlotte Johnson, MA, LPCC
We’re Here to help
Our wellness experts will be happy to take care of you. You can CLICK HERE to schedule an appointment now or call (612)223-8898.
Meet Clinicians
We’re united by our commitment to providing effective, relevant, and innovative mental health support at all stages of your journey. Click Here to find out more about who we are, where we come from, and how we live out CARE’s mission every day.
The professionals at CARE are actively collecting and creating resources to help with what you need. We’re Here for You.
Self-Injury Awareness
/in Anxiety, CARE Counseling, Depression, Depression + Anxiety, Grief & Loss, Mental Health, News, Self-Harm, Suicidal Thoughts /by MarketingSelf Injury Awareness
There are behaviors that we tend to keep hidden from others due to shame, embarrassment, anxiety, stigma, or fear. This month, I would like to increase awareness of self-injury, which is especially prevalent among teens and college students. Self-injury includes deliberate acts of harm on one’s body that are typically done in an attempt to help relieve intentse emotional pain that has become overwhelming. Forms of self-injury include skin cutting, burning, scratching, piercing/ puncturing the skin as well as hitting/ punching self, or head-banging. Although the intent to cause serious harm is typically not the goal, it is certainly a possibility and therefore should not be treated lightly.
Individuals who engage in self-injury tend to struggle with expressing emotions, regulating emotions, and coping with distress. They may feel lonely, worthless, alone, or rejected. For those who struggle with accepting or loving their self, self-injury may be a way to punish themselves. Individuals may feel anxiety/ panic and out-of-control, wanting distraction. For some people, self-injury helps relieve tension associated with anxiety, anger, or frustration. For others, self-injury serves as an escape to feelings of numbness.
The signs and symptoms of self-injury are often hidden and done in private. For example, self-injurious behaviors tend to take place when friends/ family members are sleeping or not at home. Injuries such as cuts, scratches, burns, or scarring may be covered by long sleeve clothing or done on places of the body such as the torso or thighs. It is so important to reach out and talk to someone such as a trusted friend, family member, or community support. It is also important to consult and seek help from a professional in the medical or mental health field. If you are concerned about someone who engages in self-injury here are some ways to help:
How to Help Someone Who Self-Injures
- Increase awareness of self-injury.
- Listen in a caring, supportive, and nonjudgmental manner.
- Encourage use of healthy coping skills to help build resilience.
- Take talk and behaviors of self-injury as serious.
- Increase social connections.
- Assist with locating or suggesting people who can help. Resources include a pediatrician or school counselor (for children), primary care physician, mental health professional, spiritual/faith-based leader, or supportive friend/ family member.
- Call 911 or to seek help for life-threatening injuries or suicide attempt.
- Reach out to your local crisis recourses or contact the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK (1-800-273-8255)
It takes a big step of courage to reach out. My hope is that individuals who engage in self-injury can feel comfortable to seek support by getting treatment to help learn healthier coping strategies. Please join others as they speak up and seek help during Self-Injury Awareness Month. Your collective voice is so important as we work together to help reduce the stigma.
Written By: Charlotte Johnson, MA, LPCC
We’re Here to help
Our wellness experts will be happy to take care of you. You can CLICK HERE to schedule an appointment now or call (612)223-8898.
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We’re united by our commitment to providing effective, relevant, and innovative mental health support at all stages of your journey. Click Here to find out more about who we are, where we come from, and how we live out CARE’s mission every day.
The professionals at CARE are actively collecting and creating resources to help with what you need. We’re Here for You.
Zero Discrimination Day
/in Anxiety, CARE Counseling, Depression, Depression + Anxiety, Mental Health, News /by MarketingZero Discrimination Day
Zero Discrimination Day is celebrated around the world on March 1st to promote equality and help end discrimination. Discrimination is defined by unjust or biased treatment of individuals because they are part of a certain group based on factors such as the following:
- Race, Ethnicity
- Age
- Sexual Orientation, Gender Identity
- Religion
- Heath Status, Disability
- Socioeconomic, Familial Status
Discrimination not only affects one’s physical and mental health, but also impacts important areas of life such as social and occupational functioning.
There is a need to raise awareness, take action, and call out discrimination. At CARE, we recognize the health disparities in mental health as well as stigma that still exits for many people to receive mental health treatment. We also recognize the need for systemic change within the mental health community. That is why CARE MORE was created.
WHAT IS CARE MORE?
CARE more is a non-profit community initiative created by CARE Counseling for the purpose of creating systemic change within the mental health community. CARE’s owners, John Hutchinson and Dr. Andrea Hutchinson, created CARE with the mission statement of: build a community to strengthen the community.
Despite the needs, only one in three Black or African American adults who need mental health care receive it.
There are reasons that members of the BIPOC community avoid seeking therapy. Reluctance to enlist the aid of a mental health professional can include a lack of representation.
In Minnesota, 95% of mental health professionals are white; just over 2% are Black. Nationally it isn’t much better sitting at 4%.
With the goal of continuing to strengthen the mental health community through CARE more, the Hutchinson Family Endowment is donating $50,000 to the University of St. Thomas to fund the cost of books for BIPOC students pursuing masters and doctoral programs in the Psychology Department. Through the CARE more initiative, more BIPOC students will succeed in Psychology programs and pursue careers in therapy, which will encourage more people of color to find help from clinicians who can truly understand their racial struggles. If you are interested in showing your support for the mission behind CARE more, you can purchase swag at www.CAREmoremn.com
HELP AVAILABLE AT CARE COUNSELING
If you are struggling with your mental health, reach out for help. CARE is an outpatient e-counseling mental health clinic whose clinicians work with children of all ages, adults, couples, and families. CARE Counseling offers same week availability and has many clinicians accepting new clients. All Major Minnesota Health Insurance Companies are accepted, including Medical Assistance, which covers 100% of outpatient mental health costs. To schedule an appointment, call 612.223.8898 or schedule online with our portal at www.care-clinics.com.
The Center for Disease Control lists specific examples for types of discrimination as well as protections that are offered with federal and US labor laws to read more visit: https://www.cdc.gov/eeo/faqs/discrimination.htm
Written By: Charlotte Johnson, MA, LPCC
We’re Here to help
Our wellness experts will be happy to take care of you. You can CLICK HERE to schedule an appointment now or call (612)223-8898.
Meet Clinicians
We’re united by our commitment to providing effective, relevant, and innovative mental health support at all stages of your journey. Click Here to find out more about who we are, where we come from, and how we live out CARE’s mission every day.
The professionals at CARE are actively collecting and creating resources to help with what you need. We’re Here for You.
Tune Into Your Body To Increase Resiliency and Happiness
/in Anxiety, CARE Counseling, Clinician Resources, Couples Counseling, Depression, Family Counseling, Mental Health, Premarital Counseling, Relationships & Self-Care, Self-Care, Self-Esteem, Sex, Sleep, Weekly Session Plans, Women's Health /by MarketingTune Into Your Body To Increase Resiliency and Happiness
Rather than just focusing on the neck up, therapists are incorporating body work by taking a more holistic approach and integrating the rest of the body! Specialized therapeutic approaches such as somatic psychotherapy utilize the mind-body connection to bring awareness to one’s body and integrate the body within the healing process.
The nervous system plays a key role in body work; tuning-into-your-body-can-make-you-more-resilient. Amid threat, our body goes into “fight or flight”; this serves as a protective, survival response. The sympathetic nervous system plays a key role in triggering this response whereas the parasympathetic nervous system works to calm the body’s response. Our body works hard to keep us safe, healthy, and calm! Body-based interventions can help soothe our body when our brain is sending out signals of distress. By increasing somatic intelligence, one can better understand the-stress-response and learn techniques that help regulate stress responses and contribute to overall healthiness.
BREATHING & RELAXATION
One of the first places we can focus on regulating our nervous system is through breathing by using deep abdominal breaths which is known as diaphragmatic or belly breathing. Breathing can be paired with deep sighs or humming to calm. Breathing can also be combined with soothing words or images as part of meditation and guided imagery relaxation exercises.
Check out this link for steps how to do deep breathing exercises to include diaphragmatic breathing, rib stretch breathing, and numbered breathing: https://www.healthline.com/health/diaphragmatic-breathing#steps-to-do
PHYSICAL TOUCH
There are many benefits-of-touch in response to reducing stress and calming the nervous system. This includes the body’s release of the hormone oxytocin which is released during activities that utilize physical touch such as hugging, massage, cuddling, and sex. Soothing activities such as petting an animal also offer these benefits. Meditation activities that incorporate touch and self-compassion such as placing one’s hand on their heart and offering kindness is another intervention that utilizes physical touch.
MOVEMENT
Use of movement and therapeutic approaches that use movement such as yoga and tai chi often combines deep breathing along with fluid rhythmical movements that help calm the nervous system. Incorporating mindfulness for “mindful movement” with activities such as walking or yoga helps relax both the mind and the body. Simple movement activities such as shifts in posture and stretching also easy activities that you can do anywhere.
INTEGRATE ALL THREE!
Breathing/ relaxation, touch, and movement can be combined. A technique called grounding is helpful with moving through distress (especially with trauma) as it helps one feel connected to the ground/ earth. This can be paired with sensory-soothing interventions to feel fully connected and present such as physical touch and eye contact in addition to breathing.
We’re Here to help
Our wellness experts will be happy to take care of you. You can CLICK HERE to schedule an appointment now or call (612)223-8898.
We’re united by our commitment to providing effective, relevant, and innovative mental health support at all stages of your journey. Click Here to find out more about who we are, where we come from, and how we live out CARE’s mission every day.
The professionals at CARE are actively collecting and creating resources to help with what you need. We’re Here for You.
How to Practice Mindfulness and How Shame Can Affect Your Eating Habits
/in CARE Counseling, Depression, Disordered Eating, Emotional Trauma, Health + Sleep, Mental Health, Relationships & Self-Care, Self-Care, Self-Esteem, Self-Harm /by MarketingHow to Practice Mindfulness and How Shame Can Affect Your Eating Habits
Eating is a daily practice that helps nourish our bodies by keeping them strong and healthy. It is the “fuel” that provides energy for the day. Eating habits may become unhealthy patterns ladened with guilt and shame. It is important to become aware of maladaptive core beliefs and the internalized messages that come along with eating habits and feelings about weight, appearance, or overall body image.
Shame is an emotion that can greatly affect eating habits whether it be mindless eating, restricting, binging, purging, struggles with weight and/ or body image. Feelings of shame are often present with behaviors that are done in secret and may be associated with rigidly held beliefs including “food rules” that affects-eating-habits. Mindfulness can help bring awareness to unhelpful thoughts that contribute to feelings of shame. Mindfulness can help us sit with the discomfort these feeling bring, being present in the moment and approaching eating habits with curiosity. In our moments of pain and suffering may we find compassion for ourselves. Oftentimes it is much easier to show compassion for others while the inner critic is unleashed on the self. Offering yourself kindness and compassion during a difficult situation is a great mindfulness practice which can help work with feelings of shame.
Here are some guidelines how to practice mindfulness while eating that incorporates simple-practices-for-daily-life.
1) Notice What You are Eating. Make mindful choices that nourish the body and soul.
2) Savor Your Food. Take time to notice the aroma, taste, and texture. Allow yourself to connect and enjoy these sensations.
3) Create a Pause. Activities to slow down and then enjoy the food such as breathing or a prayer before eating can help with the transition to meal time.
4) Be Mindful of Where You are Eating. Do you eat on the couch in front of your TV, at your desk while working, or in bed? Take the time to prepare a special place for meal time, even if it is a place setting for one.
5) Listen to Your Body Signals. Learn to recognize and appropriately respond to signals of hunger and fullness.
The Center for Mindful Eating provides some great information on mindful eating as well as mindful meditations: https://thecenterformindfuleating.org/FREE-Meditations
If you are struggling with shame around eating habits, please schedule a time to talk to a therapist with specialty working with eating disorders https://care-clinics.com/ or a specialty clinic that provides treatment for eating disorders.
Melrose Center: https://www.healthpartners.com/care/specialty-centers/melrose-center/
The Emily Program: https://www.emilyprogram.com/
Written By: Charlotte Johnson, MA, LPCC

We’re Here to help
Our wellness experts will be happy to take care of you. You can CLICK HERE to schedule an appointment now or call (612)223-8898.
Meet Clinicians
We’re united by our commitment to providing effective, relevant, and innovative mental health support at all stages of your journey. Click Here to find out more about who we are, where we come from, and how we live out CARE’s mission every day.
The professionals at CARE are actively collecting and creating resources to help with what you need. We’re Here for You.
Practicing Mindful Sex
/in Ambiguous Loss / Sense of Self, Anxiety, CARE Counseling, Couples Counseling, Depression, Identity, Issues de Jour, Mental Health, News, Relationships & Self-Care, Self-Care, Self-Esteem, Sex, Sexual Addictions / Pornography /by MarketingPracticing Mindful Sex
Feeling alone …
You find yourself scrolling through social media and before you know it, you find yourself “doomsturbating“—doomscrolling while masturbating. This outcome is not too much different than other self-soothing activities we tend to find ourselves doing while stressed, anxious, depressed, lonely, or just plain old bored.
How about watching TV while mindless eating? You may find yourself eating past your comfort level and making choices that contribute to feelings of guilt and shame. By incorporating mindfulness, it helps one to fully enjoy pleasure in the moment in activities whether it be eating chocolate or having sex. Mindfulness is about being fully present.
Mindfulness can offer a wonderful sense of freedom when practicing mindful-sex. Have you ever experienced anxiety before, during, or after sex? What is it like to have sex with a partner(s) when you are pre-occupied and insecure about your body, orgasms, or overall performance? Biological, psychological social/ environmental and cultural factors are all important aspects that affect sexual health.
Sexual relationships struggle when they are impacted by feeling detached, preoccupied, unsatisfied, or even numb to pleasure. What would it be like to feel mentally, emotionally, and even spiritually connected while having sex?
Many individuals that seek help for relationship concerns, especially around intimacy and sex often struggle with communication. Sex and sexuality are important aspects of what makes us human. Good communication can lead to sexual satisfaction and improved mental health. Communication and consent are vital to practicing mindful, hot sex.
No matter your “relationship status”, I challenge you to treat yourself to pleasure. It does not need to be sexual, although if you choose to have mindful sex, prepare yourself for something even better than chocolate!
Here are Steps to Get Started:
• Set aside an intentional time to practice mindful sex.
• Enjoy a multi-sensory experience. Indulge the senses with sight, sound, smell, taste, and touch.
• Be fully present to experience the moment rather than focus on performance.
• Practicing loving and nurturing yourself. Learn first how to be comfortable with and in your body. Discover new erogenous zones.
• Increase your comfort level to communicate. Talk to your partner(s) about what you want.
Finally, do not be afraid to talk to your therapist about your sexual health concerns. Yes, it is OK to talk about sex in therapy! Not only is it OK, but it is also encouraged.
Written By: Charlotte Johnson, MA, LPCC
We’re Here to help
Our wellness experts will be happy to take care of you. You can CLICK HERE to schedule an appointment now or call (612)223-8898.
Meet Clinicians
We’re united by our commitment to providing effective, relevant, and innovative mental health support at all stages of your journey. Click Here to find out more about who we are, where we come from, and how we live out CARE’s mission every day.
The professionals at CARE are actively collecting and creating resources to help with what you need. We’re Here for You.
How to Maintain Friendships When Feeling Depressed, Anxious, Etc…
/in Ambiguous Loss / Sense of Self, Anxiety, CARE Counseling, COVID-19, Death of a Loved One, Depression, Family, Grief & Loss, Mental Health, Self-Esteem, Social Issues, Traumatic Loss / Suicide /by MarketingHow to Maintain Friendships When Feeling Depressed, Anxious, Etc…
Friendship is a beautiful thing—childhood friends, friends from school or college days, friendships formed through work, and other stages of life. Sometimes friends are made in the least expected places, bonding through pain, hardship, and times of suffering. Reaching out for help is not easy, nor is reaching out for social support when struggling with depression or anxiety.
When one is struggling with mental health, it can be difficult to maintain friendships. Yet, this is a time when we need support from friends. If you are feeling anxious or depressed, who are three people that you could call right now? When is the last time that you reached out to someone? Has it been in the last day, last week, last month?
We all have a need for social connection, through the good times and through the bad. It is especially important to maintain friendships while feeling depressed, anxious, etc.
Here are Three Ways to Maintain Friendships:
- Take a Step to be Vulnerable and Reach Out
• Start with small steps. Sending a simple text or making a phone call is a great start.
• A good starting point is to reach out to the top three names that come to your mind.
• Be open about what you are feeling and what would be helpful, perhaps just someone to listen.
• If you are lacking social supports, reach out to community supports or a mental health resource line. https://mn.gov/covid19/for-minnesotans/get-help/mental-health - Take Care of Your Mental Health
• A good friend can offer support but will not be able to “fix” your depression, anxiety, etc.
• Separate yourself from your mental health. For example, I am a person who is feeling depressed vs. I am depressed.
• Practice coping skills that encourage being able to tolerate negative emotions and build on social connection. One of my favorites is listed here: https://www.dbtselfhelp.com/html/accepts.html - Recognize that you are Important to Others
• Sometimes people are reluctant to reach out to friends as to not “burden” or stress out others. Although it may not feel like it during times of struggle, your friendship is a precious gift.
• Friendships give and take. How would you respond to a friend? Showing and receiving kindness, patience, and understanding are qualities of a great friendship.
“You are a piece of the puzzle of someone else’s life. You may never know where you fit, but others will fill the holes in their lives with pieces of you.” -Bonnie Arbor
Written By: Charlotte Johnson, MA, LPCC
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