Mental Strength & Psychological Endurance
/in CARE Counseling, Death of a Loved One, Depression, Grief & Loss, Identity, Mental Health, Race, Ethnicity & Cultural Identity, Self-Esteem, Self-Harm, Traumatic Loss / Suicide /by MarketingMental Strength & Psychological Endurance
Enduring conditions that tap into deleted energy sources is not easy. We need mental strength to persevere. Athletes know this well. Performance-driven individuals can relate. Parents know what I am talking about. Survivors are witness to this. What happens when faced with multiple blows? An athlete who experiences a life-changing injury that alters the course of their game. A Black mother whose child has died after another police shooting. A victim of domestic abuse who is living in a constant state of alert. A community that experiences collective trauma again and again.
Communities of color have been especially hit hard by COVID-related deaths, followed by the killings of George Floyd and Daunte Wright. It is with a heavy heart that we experience another wave of trauma amid adversities that individuals, families, and communities continue to manage day by day.
“Too much, too soon, too fast” is often used to describe trauma that overwhelms. When psychological stressors reach a peak, we find ourselves feeling overwhelmed and no longer able to perform. It may be hard to be fully present in relationships or difficult to get out of bed in the morning. Our bodies and minds are tapped out. Thoughts are distracted. Sleep is disrupted. Fatigue sets in. We may be tempted to give up, to lose hope and go through difficulties alone.
Sports psychology offers strategies that can help build resiliency to be mentally-strong. Therapy also can help. When faced with hardship, I would love to come along side you. To hold space, tap into your mental strengths, motivate, and encourage you for the days ahead.
In the race to fight systemic racism, we’ve experienced another loss. A setback. The pain is excruciating. It will take time to mourn and heal before moving forward. Caregivers and helping professionals will need energy and strength to help as we cope with the emotions and uncertainties ahead. Take time to seek out and connect to resources.
Here are some resources specific to self-care for the BIPOC community during the Chauvin trial.
A special thank you to our CARE therapist Noemi Lopez, for sending over these resources and finding new ways to better CARE for our community.
• https://namimn.org/bipoc/
• Self-Care Tips for Black People Who Are Feeling Overwhelmed by Racism (vice.com)
• https://www.apa.org/res/parent-resources/racial-stress-tool-kit.pdf
• Resources for the Derek Chauvin Trial – Guild (guildservices.org)
• https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fLlFSWgK2y4
In addition, here are some practical ideas that we can apply right now to help improve resilience.
- Establish Daily Healthy Habits
Having a strong foundation of healthy habits such as getting adequate sleep, food, and exercise are so important. Daily rituals lead to successful outcome of goals and give us the strength and motivation to endure. - Focus on Self-Care
Listen to what your body needs. Do you need more rest? A day off? Social connection? Time to grieve? Space to process emotions? Especially during difficult times, it is important to be in tune with your body and mind. Focusing on self-care is a great strategy to help manage stress. - Connect with Your Emotions
Take time to experience and process your emotions such as sadness, anger, and anxiety. Be vulnerable to experience your emotions with others. - Seek Support
Individual, family, and community supports are great places to seek help, share your experiences, and gain support. Family, friends, religious/ spiritual communities, advocacy groups, support/ connection groups, and mental health resources are all outlets. - Maintain & Visualize Hope for the Future
While it can be difficult to stay positive, visualize finding strength and hope during hardship. Make an impact to help the BIPOC community. Take action in meaningful ways.
“There are opportunities even in the most difficult moments.”
–Wangari Maathai, Unbowed
Written By: Charlotte Johnson, MA, LPCC
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Our wellness experts will be happy to take care of you. You can CLICK HERE to schedule an appointment now or call (612)223-8898.
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The professionals at CARE are actively collecting and creating resources to help with what you need. We’re Here for You.
Accelerating LGBTQ Equality + Acceptance
/in CARE Counseling, Identity, LGBTQ+, Mental Health, Relationships & Self-Care, Self-Esteem /by MarketingAccelerating LGBTQ Equality + Acceptance
Most Americans believe that LGBTQ people have federal protections in areas such as employment, housing, credit, and accommodations in public spaces; however, LGBTQ people are not equally treated under the law. Discrimination is still high, especially without laws that offer ongoing protections. Gaps in these areas as well as health care, education, and gaps in smaller businesses and religious institutions are still present.
GLAAD’s 2020 annual Accelerating Acceptance study found that a significant majority of Americans are not aware that LGBTQ people are not federally protected from discrimination in many areas of life. There is also a lack of understanding LGBTQ equality in the United States.
Did you know that 27 states have no non-discrimination protections for LGBTQ Americans?
Check out this shocking visual map of LGBTQ equality and see how Minnesota compares to other states. https://www.lgbtmap.org/equality-maps
Minnesota fared higher than many states in equality in overall policy tallies that protect the rights of LGBTQ persons as overall tally was 30/ 38.5. While results in Minnesota are encouraging, there is still a lot more work to be done at the state and national level.
One step towards accelerating equality and acceptance is to examine attitudes and comfortable level with the LGBTQ community. Discrimination needs to end.
Ways to Help Accelerate Acceptance
- Share Your Story.
- Advocate for the LGBTQ Community.
- Publicly Share and Demonstrate Support.
- Collectively Take a Stance. Join the Together Movement.
- There is great power when collective voices come together to work towards acceptance for all. The & symbol is a proud representation.
- https://www.glaad.org/together
- Stand up to Anti-LGBTQ Harassment or Discrimination.
- Confront Your Own Prejudices and Biases.
- Create a Safe Space that is Diverse, Inclusive, Accepting
Written By: Charlotte Johnson, MA, LPCC
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Our wellness experts will be happy to take care of you. You can CLICK HERE to schedule an appointment now or call (612)223-8898.
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The professionals at CARE are actively collecting and creating resources to help with what you need. We’re Here for You.
What To Do (And Not To Do) When Your Child Comes Out To You
/in CARE Counseling, Family, Family Counseling, Identity, LGBTQ+, Mental Health, Parenting, Self-Esteem, Self-Harm, Suicidal Thoughts, Traumatic Loss / Suicide /by MarketingWhat To Do (And Not To Do) When Your Child Comes Out To You
It takes courage for a child to come out as LGBTQ. While a parent may have a variety of responses, here are some important Do’s and Don’ts to keep in mind.
DO:
- Demonstrate Unconditional Love.
- Simple actions such as a hug, warm smile, and “I love you” are so powerful in addition to showing your child that you love them unconditionally.
- Provide Acceptance.
- Show that you see and respect your child for who they are. Ask your child how they want to be referred to. Help them feel affirmed.
- Take time to get to know your child, their identity, and the ways in which they express themselves. Get to know their friends and partner(s)
- Be Emotionally Supportive.
- Home should be a place where your child can feel physically and emotionally safe. Model hope and normalcy for your child.
- Listen and Talk.
- Hear what your child wants to share with you and believe them. Talk, using open ended-questions and listen. Ask your child how you can be supportive.
- Respect Confidentiality and Boundaries
- Your child may or may not feel comfortable with disclosures to others. Respect this.
- Take Time to Process and Educate Yourself.
- Anticipate that there may be some confusion or discomfort after disclosures related to gender and sexuality. Find your own supports and resources.
- Become an Ally to the LGBTQIA+ Community.
- Learn how to advocate for your child. Challenge homophobia. Speak up! Don’t remain silent.
DON’Ts:
- Don’t provide ultimatums, “disown”, or show conditional love because of coming out.
- Don’t reject your child or their experience as “just a phase”.
- Don’t make emotionally abusive comments that your child is a disgrace, disappointment, etc. based on their identity.
- Don’t over-question, minimize, or doubt your child.
- Don’t make assumptions as this can invalidate your child’s experience. Saying things like “I knew it” or “Are you really sure?” is unhelpful.
- Don’t refuse to address your child by their pronouns.
- Don’t “preach”, shame, or use religion against them.
- Don’t give the impression that you are scared for them (e.g. that being LGBTQ is embarrassing)
Love, support, acceptance, and respect is so important!
Consider this:
40% of LGBTQ respondents seriously considered attempting suicide in the past twelve months, with more than half of transgender and nonbinary youth having seriously considered suicide. https://www.thetrevorproject.org. Transgender and nonbinary youth who reported having pronouns respected by all or most people in their lives attempted suicide at half the rate of those who did not have their pronouns respected. Other important factors for mental health wellness for LGBTQ youth included in-person LGBTQ affirming spaces and high levels of support from family, friends, or a special person.
Resources:
https://pflag.org/
https://namimn.org/education-and-public-awareness/nami-resources-lgbtq-community/
https://www.glaad.org/resourcelist
Written By: Charlotte Johnson, MA, LPCC
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Pronouns Explained
/in CARE Counseling, Identity, LGBTQ+, Mental Health, Self-Esteem /by MarketingPronouns Explained
Hello! My name is Charlotte. I use she, her, hers pronouns. For those of you reading this, what is your name and pronouns?
Why is it important to ask about pronouns?
Since pronouns are used when we refer to someone in place of their name, it is important to use the correct pronouns that align with one’s gender identity.
Sex Versus Gender Identity
Gender identity is defined as a person’s experience of their gender whereas sex is the assigned gender at birth. When we are born, we are assigned a label of male or female at birth based on factors such as hormones, chromosomes, and genitals.
I would be considered a cisgender female if my gender assigned at birth also aligns with my gender identity. For someone who is transgender or gender non-binary, their gender identity does not align with the gender assigned at birth.
Always ask and don’t make assumptions!
Many people make assumptions of others’ pronouns based on observations of gender expression through physical appearance, choice of clothing, or mannerisms but by doing so, you risk misgendering.
Some of the most commonly uses pronouns include the following:
- he, him, his
- she, her, hers
- they, them, theirs
- Ze (zie) zee or xe
- Using a combination of pronouns
- Using one’s name in place of the pronoun
It is a sign of respect to use the correct name and pronouns when referring to somebody.
Here are some Do’s and Don’ts to keep in mind related to pronouns:
Don’t
• Don’t make assumptions about one’s gender identity.
• Don’t question or expect someone to explain their gender identity.
• Don’t invalidate one’s choice of pronouns.
• Don’t make excuses if you accidentally uses the wrong pronouns.
Do
• Introduce yourself by stating your name and pronouns, then ask the person you meet what their name and pronouns are.
• Accept and use one’s stated pronouns.
• Show respect by using the correct pronouns.
• Apologize if you accidentally use the wrong pronoun.
• Correct people who use the wrong pronoun to identify someone.
Written By: Charlotte Johnson, MA, LPCC
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The professionals at CARE are actively collecting and creating resources to help with what you need. We’re Here for You.
Women & Mental Health
/in Anxiety, CARE Counseling, Clinician Resources, Depression, Family, Identity, Mental Health, Race, Ethnicity & Cultural Identity, Self-Esteem, Women's Health /by MarketingWomen & Mental Health
According to the National Institute of Mental Health, nearly 1 in 5 adults live with mental-illness. While the rates for mental health are similar for all adults, there are unique differences that impact women-patients across all cultural and socioeconomic backgrounds such as depression, anxiety, trauma, and eating disorders.
Women and Mental Health
Source: World Health Organization, Center for Disease Control, & National Institute of Mental Health
Depression and Anxiety
• Depression is 2Xs more common in women than in men.
• Generalized anxiety is also 2Xs more likely in women.
• Depression, posttraumatic stress disorder, anxiety, and suicidal ideation are common among women who have experienced physical, sexual, and other forms of violence.
Eating Disorders
• A lifetime prevalence of anorexia nervosa was 3Xs higher in women.
• Binge eating disorder was 2Xs as high.
• Prevalence of bulimia nervosa was 5Xs higher in women.
• Teens and young adult women are especially at risk of developing an eating disorder.
Hormonal Changes
• Mental health symptoms can be triggered by hormonal changes such as depression with pregnancy, postpartum, menstruation, or perimenopause.
• Approximately 1 in 8 women in the US experience symptoms of postpartum depression; in some states this is as high as 1 in 5 women.
Rape, Sexual Assault, and Violence
• 91% of rape and sexual assault victims in the US are women.
• Nearly 1 in 5 women will experience rape or attempted rape in their lifetime.
• Neary 1 in 4 women have experienced severe physical violence from an intimate partner in their lifetime.
• 1 in 3 women globally experience violence.
Objectification, Harassment, and Microaggression
• Objectification of girls/ women, sexual harassment, and repeated microaggressions can lead to violence and negatively impact mental health including self-esteem.
Risk factors for women include inequalities in socioeconomic status including low income/ social status, experience of gender-based violence, and being a primary caretaker. Historically, women in the US have been denied opportunities based on gender as well as individuals and women within the LGBTQIA+ and BIPOC community. It can feel empowering to talk to another female about these concerns within the safety of a therapeutic relationship. While you and your therapist may not share the exact lived experience, there is power in bearing witness to one’s story—the beauty and the pain.
For online resources specific to mental health for women, check out the Massachusetts General Hospital (MGH) Center for Women’s Mental Health Productive Psychiatry Resource Information Center. https://womensmentalhealth.org/resource/
Written By: Charlotte Johnson, MA, LPCC
We’re Here to help
Our wellness experts will be happy to take care of you. You can CLICK HERE to schedule an appointment now or call (612)223-8898.
Meet Clinicians
We’re united by our commitment to providing effective, relevant, and innovative mental health support at all stages of your journey. Click Here to find out more about who we are, where we come from, and how we live out CARE’s mission every day.
The professionals at CARE are actively collecting and creating resources to help with what you need. We’re Here for You.
The Happiness Myth
/in Acting Out & Temper Tantrums, CARE Counseling, Depression, Mental Health, Self-Esteem /by MarketingThe Happiness Myth
“I just want to be happy”. This should not be happening to me. We tell ourselves that we should feel happy. I will be happy after I _____ become, achieve, obtain… Then why is one still unhappy during their pursuit of happiness?
Dr. Russ Harris is a therapist who uses Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) and author of the book “The Happiness Trap”. He has an excellent video that explores three common myths that can hold us back from experiencing happiness.
Check out the video here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=93LFNtcR1Ok
Three Happiness Myths:
1. Happiness is the natural state for human beings.
Many people expect to be happy, that this should be the natural baseline and anything less is not OK. Our natural state is ever changing, like the weather and so are the emotions that we experience. We experience brilliant moments of sunshine, partly cloudy days, and times where we don’t see the sun at all. Rain may come as a gentle trickle and snow as a soft dusting but can also be experienced as a torrential downpour or snowstorm.
2) Happiness means we always feel good.
Have you ever noticed how fleeting emotional states can be? Milestone events that evoke feelings of “happy ever after” such as a marriage/ relationships, career or personal achievement do not mean that we will now experience happiness. In fact, researchers have found that there are moments of great discomfort within the pursuit. Along with pleasure there are also moments of pain. Happiness may be better described as an emotional state that provides one with a sense of meaning and contentment rather going from one major moment of happiness to the next.
3) If you are not happy, you are defective.
“There must be something wrong with me if I am not happy”. If one is unhappy, this does mean that you are defective! What would it be like to notice whatever emotional state you are feeling, identify where this is experienced in the body, and listen empathetically to understand? By moving towards acceptance, one can better learn how to sit with discomfort and cope with the ever-changing state of emotions. Perhaps it is time for a change such as learning new skills, setting goals, investing in new relationships, or practicing self-compassion.
ACT utilizes mindfulness and acceptance along with commitment and behavioral strategies. By learning mindfulness skills, one can learn to live and act in ways that are consistent with their personal values. The goal is to increase psychological flexibility. Therapists at CARE Counseling have been trained to utilize ACT approaches.
Schedule here
Written By: Charlotte Johnson, MA, LPCC
We’re Here to help
Our wellness experts will be happy to take care of you. You can CLICK HERE to schedule an appointment now or call (612)223-8898.
Meet Clinicians
We’re united by our commitment to providing effective, relevant, and innovative mental health support at all stages of your journey. Click Here to find out more about who we are, where we come from, and how we live out CARE’s mission every day.
The professionals at CARE are actively collecting and creating resources to help with what you need. We’re Here for You.
How To Show Yourself Kindness and Those Around You
/in CARE Counseling, Mental Health, Self-Care, Self-Esteem /by MarketingHow To Show Yourself Kindness and Those Around You
We know the importance of being kind to others but are you also showing kindness to yourself? Showing kindness is one of the greatest forms of humanity, as kindness make a big difference in one’s life.
What steps can you take to show kindness to yourself and those around you? Here are some areas of reflect on for Random Acts of Kindness Week (February 14-20, 2021).
Take time to Notice and Express Kindness
- Acknowledge and notice others that you encounter within your daily life. This can be difficult when one is busy and distracted.
- Take small steps to show kindness such as connecting through eye contact, a smile, head nod, touch, conversation, or other gesture.
- Engage with yourself and others in meaningful ways such as spending quality time, working on a project, or gifting a token of appreciation.
Be Gentle with Yourself and Others by Practicing Self-Compassion
• Use gentle, kind, and affirming words that build a strong sense of self.
• Offer yourself loving kindness in moments of suffering and offer compassion to others in times of suffering.
Show Kindness to Yourself by Taking Care of Your Body
• Eat healthy nourishing foods, exercise, rest, and treat physical and mental health.
• Seek support if you struggle with disordered eating, drug/ alcohol misuse, self-injurious behavior, and/ or engaging in risky or reckless behaviors.
Learn to “Let Go” and Forgive
• Let go of judgment, perfectionism, unrealistic standards, control, or other areas.
• “Permission-granting” can be a helpful way to allow yourself to be your authentic self and “let go”.
• Being able to forgive yourself and forgive others can be an incredible act of kindness.
Be Generous
• Consider how you choose to spend resources such as time and money; challenge yourself to use resources towards random acts of kindness.
• Help meet basic needs (e.g. food, clothing, shelter, companionship) and be an advocate for others.
• Be generous with your praise. Give yourself credit for your accomplishments and growth.
“Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all which have the potential to turn a life around”.
–Leo Buscaglia
Written By: Charlotte Johnson, MA, LPCC

We’re Here to help
Our wellness experts will be happy to take care of you. You can CLICK HERE to schedule an appointment now or call (612)223-8898.
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We’re united by our commitment to providing effective, relevant, and innovative mental health support at all stages of your journey. Click Here to find out more about who we are, where we come from, and how we live out CARE’s mission every day.
The professionals at CARE are actively collecting and creating resources to help with what you need. We’re Here for You.
Tune Into Your Body To Increase Resiliency and Happiness
/in Anxiety, CARE Counseling, Clinician Resources, Couples Counseling, Depression, Family Counseling, Mental Health, Premarital Counseling, Relationships & Self-Care, Self-Care, Self-Esteem, Sex, Sleep, Weekly Session Plans, Women's Health /by MarketingTune Into Your Body To Increase Resiliency and Happiness
Rather than just focusing on the neck up, therapists are incorporating body work by taking a more holistic approach and integrating the rest of the body! Specialized therapeutic approaches such as somatic psychotherapy utilize the mind-body connection to bring awareness to one’s body and integrate the body within the healing process.
The nervous system plays a key role in body work; tuning-into-your-body-can-make-you-more-resilient. Amid threat, our body goes into “fight or flight”; this serves as a protective, survival response. The sympathetic nervous system plays a key role in triggering this response whereas the parasympathetic nervous system works to calm the body’s response. Our body works hard to keep us safe, healthy, and calm! Body-based interventions can help soothe our body when our brain is sending out signals of distress. By increasing somatic intelligence, one can better understand the-stress-response and learn techniques that help regulate stress responses and contribute to overall healthiness.
BREATHING & RELAXATION
One of the first places we can focus on regulating our nervous system is through breathing by using deep abdominal breaths which is known as diaphragmatic or belly breathing. Breathing can be paired with deep sighs or humming to calm. Breathing can also be combined with soothing words or images as part of meditation and guided imagery relaxation exercises.
Check out this link for steps how to do deep breathing exercises to include diaphragmatic breathing, rib stretch breathing, and numbered breathing: https://www.healthline.com/health/diaphragmatic-breathing#steps-to-do
PHYSICAL TOUCH
There are many benefits-of-touch in response to reducing stress and calming the nervous system. This includes the body’s release of the hormone oxytocin which is released during activities that utilize physical touch such as hugging, massage, cuddling, and sex. Soothing activities such as petting an animal also offer these benefits. Meditation activities that incorporate touch and self-compassion such as placing one’s hand on their heart and offering kindness is another intervention that utilizes physical touch.
MOVEMENT
Use of movement and therapeutic approaches that use movement such as yoga and tai chi often combines deep breathing along with fluid rhythmical movements that help calm the nervous system. Incorporating mindfulness for “mindful movement” with activities such as walking or yoga helps relax both the mind and the body. Simple movement activities such as shifts in posture and stretching also easy activities that you can do anywhere.
INTEGRATE ALL THREE!
Breathing/ relaxation, touch, and movement can be combined. A technique called grounding is helpful with moving through distress (especially with trauma) as it helps one feel connected to the ground/ earth. This can be paired with sensory-soothing interventions to feel fully connected and present such as physical touch and eye contact in addition to breathing.
We’re Here to help
Our wellness experts will be happy to take care of you. You can CLICK HERE to schedule an appointment now or call (612)223-8898.
We’re united by our commitment to providing effective, relevant, and innovative mental health support at all stages of your journey. Click Here to find out more about who we are, where we come from, and how we live out CARE’s mission every day.
The professionals at CARE are actively collecting and creating resources to help with what you need. We’re Here for You.
How to Practice Mindfulness and How Shame Can Affect Your Eating Habits
/in CARE Counseling, Depression, Disordered Eating, Emotional Trauma, Health + Sleep, Mental Health, Relationships & Self-Care, Self-Care, Self-Esteem, Self-Harm /by MarketingHow to Practice Mindfulness and How Shame Can Affect Your Eating Habits
Eating is a daily practice that helps nourish our bodies by keeping them strong and healthy. It is the “fuel” that provides energy for the day. Eating habits may become unhealthy patterns ladened with guilt and shame. It is important to become aware of maladaptive core beliefs and the internalized messages that come along with eating habits and feelings about weight, appearance, or overall body image.
Shame is an emotion that can greatly affect eating habits whether it be mindless eating, restricting, binging, purging, struggles with weight and/ or body image. Feelings of shame are often present with behaviors that are done in secret and may be associated with rigidly held beliefs including “food rules” that affects-eating-habits. Mindfulness can help bring awareness to unhelpful thoughts that contribute to feelings of shame. Mindfulness can help us sit with the discomfort these feeling bring, being present in the moment and approaching eating habits with curiosity. In our moments of pain and suffering may we find compassion for ourselves. Oftentimes it is much easier to show compassion for others while the inner critic is unleashed on the self. Offering yourself kindness and compassion during a difficult situation is a great mindfulness practice which can help work with feelings of shame.
Here are some guidelines how to practice mindfulness while eating that incorporates simple-practices-for-daily-life.
1) Notice What You are Eating. Make mindful choices that nourish the body and soul.
2) Savor Your Food. Take time to notice the aroma, taste, and texture. Allow yourself to connect and enjoy these sensations.
3) Create a Pause. Activities to slow down and then enjoy the food such as breathing or a prayer before eating can help with the transition to meal time.
4) Be Mindful of Where You are Eating. Do you eat on the couch in front of your TV, at your desk while working, or in bed? Take the time to prepare a special place for meal time, even if it is a place setting for one.
5) Listen to Your Body Signals. Learn to recognize and appropriately respond to signals of hunger and fullness.
The Center for Mindful Eating provides some great information on mindful eating as well as mindful meditations: https://thecenterformindfuleating.org/FREE-Meditations
If you are struggling with shame around eating habits, please schedule a time to talk to a therapist with specialty working with eating disorders https://care-clinics.com/ or a specialty clinic that provides treatment for eating disorders.
Melrose Center: https://www.healthpartners.com/care/specialty-centers/melrose-center/
The Emily Program: https://www.emilyprogram.com/
Written By: Charlotte Johnson, MA, LPCC

We’re Here to help
Our wellness experts will be happy to take care of you. You can CLICK HERE to schedule an appointment now or call (612)223-8898.
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We’re united by our commitment to providing effective, relevant, and innovative mental health support at all stages of your journey. Click Here to find out more about who we are, where we come from, and how we live out CARE’s mission every day.
The professionals at CARE are actively collecting and creating resources to help with what you need. We’re Here for You.
Practicing Mindful Sex
/in Ambiguous Loss / Sense of Self, Anxiety, CARE Counseling, Couples Counseling, Depression, Identity, Issues de Jour, Mental Health, News, Relationships & Self-Care, Self-Care, Self-Esteem, Sex, Sexual Addictions / Pornography /by MarketingPracticing Mindful Sex
Feeling alone …
You find yourself scrolling through social media and before you know it, you find yourself “doomsturbating“—doomscrolling while masturbating. This outcome is not too much different than other self-soothing activities we tend to find ourselves doing while stressed, anxious, depressed, lonely, or just plain old bored.
How about watching TV while mindless eating? You may find yourself eating past your comfort level and making choices that contribute to feelings of guilt and shame. By incorporating mindfulness, it helps one to fully enjoy pleasure in the moment in activities whether it be eating chocolate or having sex. Mindfulness is about being fully present.
Mindfulness can offer a wonderful sense of freedom when practicing mindful-sex. Have you ever experienced anxiety before, during, or after sex? What is it like to have sex with a partner(s) when you are pre-occupied and insecure about your body, orgasms, or overall performance? Biological, psychological social/ environmental and cultural factors are all important aspects that affect sexual health.
Sexual relationships struggle when they are impacted by feeling detached, preoccupied, unsatisfied, or even numb to pleasure. What would it be like to feel mentally, emotionally, and even spiritually connected while having sex?
Many individuals that seek help for relationship concerns, especially around intimacy and sex often struggle with communication. Sex and sexuality are important aspects of what makes us human. Good communication can lead to sexual satisfaction and improved mental health. Communication and consent are vital to practicing mindful, hot sex.
No matter your “relationship status”, I challenge you to treat yourself to pleasure. It does not need to be sexual, although if you choose to have mindful sex, prepare yourself for something even better than chocolate!
Here are Steps to Get Started:
• Set aside an intentional time to practice mindful sex.
• Enjoy a multi-sensory experience. Indulge the senses with sight, sound, smell, taste, and touch.
• Be fully present to experience the moment rather than focus on performance.
• Practicing loving and nurturing yourself. Learn first how to be comfortable with and in your body. Discover new erogenous zones.
• Increase your comfort level to communicate. Talk to your partner(s) about what you want.
Finally, do not be afraid to talk to your therapist about your sexual health concerns. Yes, it is OK to talk about sex in therapy! Not only is it OK, but it is also encouraged.
Written By: Charlotte Johnson, MA, LPCC
We’re Here to help
Our wellness experts will be happy to take care of you. You can CLICK HERE to schedule an appointment now or call (612)223-8898.
Meet Clinicians
We’re united by our commitment to providing effective, relevant, and innovative mental health support at all stages of your journey. Click Here to find out more about who we are, where we come from, and how we live out CARE’s mission every day.
The professionals at CARE are actively collecting and creating resources to help with what you need. We’re Here for You.