Not Feeling Accepted During Holiday Gatherings: LGBTQIA+

The holidays can be a tough time of year, especially for the lesbian, gay, bisexual, pansexual, transgender, genderqueer, queer, intersexed, agender, asexual, and ally community who experience homophobia during holiday gatherings. We all need to feel physically and emotionally safe, to feel connected within relationship. If these elements are not present or lacking in family gatherings, individuals within the LGBTQIA+ community can feel especially vulnerable to rejection which can exacerbate underlying mental health symptoms such as depression and anxiety.

Silent Night: The Importance of Rest

For a moment, I want to take you back to the start of the First World War, during the Christmas Truce of 1914 along the Western front when German and British soldiers fighting in the trenches declared their own official truce. For a moment, enemies came together for a moment to share in the Christmas spirit. Gunfire fell silent. The tune to the popular Christmas carol “Silent Night” could be heard from a distance on the battlefield, known in German words as “Stille Nacht” during the Christmas truce over 100-years-ago. It was a beautiful moment of peace during a time that was known as one of the bloodiest wars in history.

The Pressure to Not Be Yourself (Conforming to Others Holiday Expectations)

Feeling the pressure to fit in with what one’s friends or family are doing this holiday season can be stressful! After all, it seems easier to “give in” [and conform] than to “rock the boat” and go against others’ expectations.

What may have started out as tradition may begin to feel like an overwhelming obligation. It might begin to feel as though others have control of your schedule and choices. I “have” to visit this person, then I “have” to visit that person. I “have” to make this, then I “have” to make that. I have to buy…I have to go…I have to do… !!

Named the Face of Counseling by MPLS | St. Paul Magazine

CARE Counseling was honored with the recognition of being named the FACE of Counseling by the MPLS | St. Paul Magazine

Remember the Date and Celebrate

How often do you find yourself forgetting an important date? Perhaps a birthday, anniversary, important milestone, job interview, or medical appointment?

Within relationships, acknowledging important dates in loved one’s lives has special significance. It shows that you are thinking about them and that you care.

Celebrating special dates with a loved one can be a truly meaningful experience. It can help the other person feel loved and appreciated.

Rituals and Traditions in Celebration

December is a month of celebration. It is also a month full of rituals and traditions.

Rituals differ from traditions in that rituals involve a series of actions that are repeated. A tradition is similar in that beliefs or behaviors are passed down, with cultural significance tied to the past; however, they do not need to be performed in a prescribed order.

Thankfulness / Gratitude

The Oxford Dictionary defines the word grateful as “showing an appreciation of kindness.” Being grateful is an action whereas being thankful is a feeling. While the holidays have looked different this year, especially compared to past years, I reflect on thankfulness and choose to practice gratitude.

Communicating– Family Health Histories

How often does the topic of family mental health history come up while sitting around the dinner table? I am guessing not very often! What about your family’s medical history? This topic may feel a bit more comfortable but also tends to not be discussed.

Ambiguous Grief

How are you coping this holiday season? In response to the latest restrictions involving social gatherings and measures that have been taken in general to stay safe with Coronavirus, things will look much different this year.

Suicide Survivor Loss

The holidays tend to be a difficult time for those who have lost a loved one. This is especially true for family and friends who have died by suicide. Within the last year, I have been able to come alongside friends and family who have lost loved ones by suicide. As we celebrate the holiday season, suicide survivors are reminded of the “empty chair” at the table. The Saturday before Thanksgiving has been designated as International Survivors of Suicide Loss Day. It is a day where family and friends of those who have died by suicide can come together for support and healing.