Type 1 Diabetes and Your Relationship: How to Address Common Challenges

Managing type 1 diabetes can take a physical, emotional, and financial toll on your relationship, whether you’re dating, married, or in a long-term partnership. Although every relationship has challenges, there are some issues that can seem especially tricky when you have a chronic condition like type 1 diabetes.

A qualitative study published in March 2013 in Diabetes Care found that people with type 1 diabetes and their partners feel that the condition impacts their relationship, posing both emotional and interpersonal challenges — and that partner support is a vital source of support for those living with the condition.

If you find that your type 1 diabetes has taken a toll on your relationship, there are steps you can take to help reconnect with your partner and get back on track.

Common Relationship Challenges

Here are some common issues that people who have type 1 diabetes and their partners may face, as well as tips to help address these concerns and maintain a healthy relationship.

Lack of support Diabetes requires many daily management tasks. If your partner isn’t aware of what all those tasks are and why each is important, it can be difficult for them to support you, says Mark Heyman, PhD, a certified diabetes educator and the founder and director of the Center for Diabetes and Mental Health in Solana Beach, California. “I encourage people to educate their partner or have a healthcare team who can help educate their partner about each step in managing type 1 diabetes. Your partner needs to be able to offer support — not only when you aren’t feeling well, but also in the day-to-day,” he says. “That means support in making healthy choices when it comes to eating, exercise, and other activities. It can be really hard to manage type 1 diabetes when you feel like you’re all on your own.”

Feeling micromanaged On the other hand, you may sometimes feel like you’re receiving too much support. It may seem like your partner is constantly asking you about how you feel and what you ate, and monitoring your every move. “It usually comes from a place of caring and not always knowing how to help,” says Dr. Heyman. In those cases, it’s important to let your partner know what’s helpful for you and what’s not helpful, he says.

“For example, you might tell your partner, ‘It’s really not helpful for you to be looking at my blood sugar numbers all the time and commenting on them. What would be more helpful for me is if we could plan time this weekend to take a walk together or prepare a healthy meal,’” says Heyman. “That does two things: It helps you set boundaries with your partner around how they interact with you about your condition, and it also gives them a concrete way to help you manage type 1diabetes, which can help relieve some of the anxiety your partner may have,” he says.

Lack of spontaneity Because type 1 diabetes involves a lot of planning, it might feel like there isn’t enough spontaneity in your relationship. While it may feel counterintuitive, doing a little planning in advance can help you be spontaneous. “Having supplies packed and ready to go can help if a last-minute trip or fun activity comes up,” says Heyman. Keep extra insulin and anything else you might need in a bag, he suggests. “If you want to take off on a weekend road trip, it’s nice to know you can just grab that bag and have everything you need to stay healthy,” he says.

“If one of you would like to be more spontaneous, ask the other person, ‘What can we do together to make you more comfortable with that?’” he says. “You may be amazed at the ideas that can come about if one of you just asks the question.”

Intimacy challenges A study published in May 2018 in International Journal of Environmental Research and Public Health found that people who have type 1 diabetes may be at an increased risk of sexual disorders. Communication is key in helping with these issues, says Heyman. “You have to let your partner know how you’re feeling, just as in any relationship,” he says.

“Lots of things can impact the desire for intimacy. There are times when you just don’t feel well. Maybe there are fears about having low blood sugar while you’re being intimate,” he says. The more you can communicate about what you’re experiencing and what your partner may be able to do to help, the better. “Being able to talk about it may lead to increased intimacy; often communication can make you feel closer to your partner,” says Heyman.

Financial strain The cost of managing type 1 diabetes can vary, but according to the American Diabetes Association, people who have diabetes spend approximately $9,600 a year on diabetes-related medical costs. This may include anything from doctor visits to medications and supplies. These extra expenses can add stress to your relationship. Communicating and planning are key, says Heyman. “Have a really frank conversation about your financial health and what your goals are. How does diabetes impact this? How can we manage it?” he says.

Sometimes there can be resentment if one of you feels “stuck” in a job you don’t like because you can’t afford to lose your health insurance. Talk about the situation and brainstorm together, suggests Heyman. “Is there a solution that can be agreeable to everybody, and if not, can you find a compromise?” he says. Bottom line: Staying healthy is critical to living your best life.

Dealing with low blood sugar When you’re experiencing low blood sugar, you don’t always act like yourself, says Heyman. “You may become aggressive or defiant,” he says, which can be concerning, medically dangerous, and stressful. “It’s helpful for couples to set rules around how they’re going to deal with an episode of low blood sugar — before it happens,” he says.

Sometimes you may be in the middle of a low blood sugar episode and not realize it, or think you’re just fine and your blood sugar will correct itself, he says. Developing rules that are “non-negotiables” are a good idea.

“For example, if your partner thinks your blood sugar is low, agree that you’ll check it. If your partner sees that your blood sugar is low or if you’re exhibiting signs that it is, agree to take the snack they offer you without question,” he says. “Agreeing and sticking with rules like this can go a long way in easing tension and letting your partner know that their concerns are heard and you’re going to be okay,” says Heyman.

Find Support — for Both of You

Your partner needs to understand that sometimes you just don’t feel well. “High blood sugar doesn’t always feel good and low blood sugar is not only dangerous, it just doesn’t feel great,” says Heyman. “That can be a hard thing to communicate to people; diabetes can be a very invisible disease. Someone may look fine even if they’re not feeling well, and explaining what the different symptoms feel like can be challenging.”

Seeking social support, either in person or online, where you can get other couples’ perspectives on what these things are like and how they handle them, is a good idea, says Heyman. “Online communities are a great source of support,” he says. Beyond Type 1 and Type One Nation are two helpful resources for people with type 1 diabetes.

“Diabetes can be overwhelming and frustrating. You can experience lots of emotions that go along with that,” says Heyman. Having a partner you can count on and who can understand and empathize can go a long way.

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Anxiety + Diabetes

WRITTEN BY: Kristi Caporoso, MSW, LSW

State(s) of Fear

Anxiety has become one of the most commonly diagnosed mental illnesses in the United States. It seems everywhere you turn, someone is talking about it. Whether it’s their child or themselves that are afflicted, everyone and their mother seems to suffer from some level of anxiety. There has been a particular uptick in the level of anxiety reported in children and adolescents. While mental health professionals are trying to put their finger on what exactly is contributing to this – technology, political climate, homework – you don’t have to dig deep to find a reason for increased levels of anxiety in those living with Type 1 diabetes. To begin unpacking this issue, first let’s take a look at what the “A” word actually means.

What is anxiety, exactly?

A certain level of anxiety is healthy – necessary, even. It is what prevents us from engaging in dangerous behaviors, and what keeps us motivated to accomplish the things we need to do. The dictionary definition of anxiety reads as follows: “distress or uneasiness of mind caused by fear of danger or misfortune.”1 When this distress gets too high, or is disproportionate to the situation provoking it, the person tends to suffer from anxiety instead of benefitting from it.

Some of the more common forms of anxiety disorders are:

Generalized Anxiety Disorder (GAD)

A prolonged state of worry or tendency to worry about any and everything. GAD can have physical manifestations, such as GI problems and difficulty sleeping.  Someone living with GAD will have a tendency to view everything through a lens of anxiety, and be bombarded with “what-ifs?”

Panic Disorder

Panic disorder can occur after a person experiences one or multiple panic attacks, and is living in constant fear of the next one occurring. Everyone experiences panic attacks in different ways, but the most common symptoms are shortness of breath, feelings of impending doom, de-personalization (that feeling when you are floating outside your body), and heart palpitations, to name a few.

Social Anxiety Disorder

Basically what it sounds like, social anxiety disorder is when people experience extreme discomfort and anxiety around other people. This anxiety is rooted in the fear of what others think of you, or of embarrassing yourself or looking foolish.

Diabetes & Anxiety

T1D and anxiety are made to exacerbate one another. The fears and thought patterns that fuel anxiety are inherent to managing diabetes. On the flip side, struggling with anxiety can wreak havoc on your blood sugars. The more time I’ve spent working with and trying to pick apart anxiety disorders, the more I’ve realized how counterintuitive diabetes management is to anxiety levels.

What ifs

Running through the back of every anxious mind is a pestering whisper of what if? “What if I die?” “What if I embarrass myself?” “What if I fail?” These persistent questions can be crippling. However, when managing diabetes, it is often necessary to ponder what if. For example, I am about to pre-bolus for my dinner on my way home, but what if I get stuck in traffic? I am preparing for a run by adjusting my dosage and snacking, but what if it rains?

At the forefront of diabetes management is planning. Unfortunately, planning often invites what ifs, and what ifs can easily manifest into anxiety. When you are living with anxiety, it is often difficult to differentiate between rational or helpful what ifs and irrational, detrimental ones. Considering the rain or traffic while planning your insulin dosage can be productive, while repetitively pondering the possibility of going low and passing out during your exercise routine is not.

Living in the present

Similarly, planning for diabetes care can interfere with being present in the current moment. In recent years there has been growing evidence of the efficacy of mindfulness-based stress reduction (MBSR) and meditation for treatment of anxiety2. Much of our worry is rooted in what may or may not happen in the future. But it is hard to focus on the present moment and often difficult to be spontaneous when you’ve got insulin on board (IOB), sensors with downward-pointing arrows, and a fixed amount of juice in your handbag. Even the actual practice of meditation can be interrupted by alerting insulin pumps and CGMs. As mentioned above, diabetes management involves a lot of planning. And a lot of planning means a lot of future-oriented thinking.

Checking

Much like planning, with diabetes checking is essential. Checking you blood sugar, checking your IOB, checking your low supplies. But for someone with anxiety, checking can spiral into an obsessive ritual. People suffering from obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD) have certain rituals they perform to quiet obsessive thoughts that repeatedly run through their mind. Because checking is so essential for diabetes management, it’s easy for someone susceptible to anxiety to fall into a pattern of over-checking. Picture this: you feel anxious about going low, check your sensor data and see no downward arrows. You feel a temporary wave of relief. But moments later, those thoughts recur. They get louder and louder in your head, until you have to check your sensor again – still no downward arrows. You see how this can fall into a negative thought-behavior cycle.

Where do we go from here?

Fortunately, much like type one, anxiety is manageable. But it takes work. If you feel like anxiety is interfering with you or your child’s everyday life, consider seeing a therapist. There are many therapists who have experience working with people with chronic illness. And if they don’t, BT1 has a helpful guide to teach them about type 13.

Where to start: finding a therapist

Your primary care doctor or pediatrician may have some referrals. Or, if you feel comfortable, ask around. It’s more than likely that many people in your life see a therapist and you have no idea. Or, if you have private insurance, you can try calling the “Member Services” number on the back of the insurance card and asking for referrals to local in-network behavioral health providers. There are also many ways to locate a therapist online:

If you have Medicaid (or Medical, or your state’s equivalent), your state’s Division of Mental Health and Addiction Services should have resources for local community mental health centers that accept this insurance. Your therapist or primary care doctor will also be able to suggest if you should consult a psychiatrist. A psychiatrist can prescribe medications for behavioral health concerns.

While diabetes and anxiety may make a great pair, you don’t have to constantly live at their mercy. As you learn to accept and manage your anxiety, you’ll learn how to live well with it. It won’t be easy, and there’s a lot of trial and error. Of course, having type one means you’re used to that! And always remember, you’re not alone in this.

REFERENCES

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Diabetes Burnout

WRITTEN BY: Mark Heyman, PhD, CDE

Have you ever felt like you are just “done” with diabetes?

Are you sick and tired of doing everything you’re supposed to do, but feel like your blood sugar is still out of control? Do you feel like you don’t care anymore about managing diabetes and want to just give up? If any of these things sound familiar, you may be experiencing diabetes burnout.

Diabetes burnout is a state in which someone with diabetes grows tired of managing their condition, and then simply ignores it for a period of time, or worse, forever. Unfortunately, diabetes burnout is common, and most people with Type 1 diabetes (T1D) have experienced it at some point in their lives. After all, if you have T1D, you have to be “on” 24/7, and as much as we would like one, there are no breaks. People who experience diabetes burnout aren’t necessarily depressed and are certainly not lazy. In fact, almost everyone with diabetes, even those experiencing burnout, want to live long healthy lives. But sometimes diabetes can feel overwhelming and folks can get burned out from all the hard work.

What does diabetes burnout actually look like? While it may look different in people, there are some common signs and symptoms. These include:

  • Strong negative feelings (e.g., overwhelmed, anger, frustration) about diabetes
  • Feeling controlled by diabetes
  • Isolation, or feeling alone with diabetes
  • Avoidance of some, or all diabetes management activities and being unmotivated to change this behavior

If you have T1D and are feeling burned out, please know that there is hope! Diabetes is hard work, and until we have a cure, it will continue to be hard. However, there are some thing you can try that can help you overcome, and even prevent, feelings of burn out.

Manage your expectations

People with T1D tend to be really hard on themselves. They expect a lot from themselves, and when they don’t meet their own expectations, it can be frustrating. Anyone who lives with T1D knows that it is almost impossible to do everything “right” all the time. And even if you do everything “right”, your blood sugar can have a mind of its own and do some crazy things. If you expect perfection, and perfection is not possible, it’s normal to want to give up. Instead, try cutting yourself some slack. It’s ok to strive for perfection, but it’s important to cut yourself some slack sometimes and be ok with slipping up. And remember that sometimes, having wacky blood sugars is part of having diabetes.

Take small steps

Diabetes takes a lot of hard work and sometimes everything can seem overwhelming. When things get overwhelming, you may not even know where to start. Instead of tackling a big task all at once, try breaking it down into small steps that you know you can accomplish. For example, telling yourself you want to reduce your A1C from 8% to 7% may sound like a Herculean task. However, if that is your goal, identify the specific things you can do today to get there. For example, you can check your blood sugar at least 4 times a day and count carbohydrates at every meal and take insulin to cover. Taking small steps can make achieving big goals seem a lot more obtainable.

Get support

Feeling like you’re alone in your life with diabetes is a big risk factor for diabetes burnout. With diabetes, isolation is one the biggest risk factors for becoming burned out. If you feel that nobody understands what you are experiencing or that you are the only person with diabetes that feels this way, life with diabetes can be a lonely place. While feeling supported does not make T1D go away, it can make it easier to live with. Getting support, encouragement and empathy from others can be a critical part of staying motivated to manage your diabetes. Sometimes the people in your life may not know what kind of support you need. Be clear with these people what would be most helpful and what you want them not to do. Remember that other people with T1D can also be a great source of support. These are the folks who know exactly how you’re feeling, because, at some point, they have probably felt the same way. If you don’t know anybody else with T1D, there are resources that can help. Many communities have meet-ups for people with T1D and there is an active diabetes online community on social media.*

If you feel burned out with T1D, you are not alone. Just remember that many people have overcome their burnout and are able to live long, happy and healthy lives with T1D. If you are experiencing diabetes burn out and you feel like you can’t deal with it on your own, it’s important to get help from a mental health professional who understands diabetes. Talk to your endocrinologist to see if s/he can recommend one in your area.

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Depression and Its Relationship to Type 1

Are depression and diabetes related?

The simple answer: yes.

Research shows that if you have diabetes, your risk of developing depression more than doubles. In fact, some studies show, that it could be as high as four times more likely.

And while this information may seem like just one more thing to worry about, it’s important to address and discuss, because doing so has the potential of improving your quality of life. And who doesn’t want that?

Someone once said, “Diabetes is a full-time job that you didn’t apply for, you can’t quit and there’s no vacation or pay.” (We’re nodding.) Agreed — no one lined up for the diabetes merry-go-round or the diabetes loop-dee-loop, because diabetes isn’t fun. Actually, it’s a royal pain. And you never get a break.

You know the drill: count carbs,  administer insulin, (factor in activity, stress and consider what’s happened before),  monitor blood sugars, rest, eat or compensate.

And no matter how vigilant you are and how meticulously carbs are counted and insulin accordingly dosed, you’ll get the rogue BGL, the unexpected zinger that just makes you feel like chucking that juice box or screaming or crying or crawling into a ball and giving up because sometimes you can’t be perfect — no, you aren’t perfect and this diabetes thing is hard, really hard and just when you think you got it right and you’re really hitting your stride … you’re tested, you’re thrown and have to try again then again and again. It’s no wonder the chronic condition can cause anxiety, feelings of frustration and even hopelessness.

Diabetes isn’t just a physical challenge with serious implications; it’s also emotionally demanding and can be extremely difficult to navigate mentally. That’s why the most effective treatments for Type 1 include medical care as well as psychological care.

Everyone at some stage of their life will experience “feeling down.” It’s important to note though, that depression is more than feeling “bummed out.” It’s a persistent feeling (lasting more than two weeks) of sadness or loss of interest, among other symptoms. It can be debilitating, life-altering and throw you down the rabbit hole of self-doubt. It also can be subtle. Perhaps you hadn’t really noticed, and it’s a loved one who’s mentioned the changes, has noted that things aren’t “okay”. Whichever way, don’t worry; take heed! You’ve made it here and you aren’t the first.

If you’re experiencing symptoms in at least three of the following categories, you may be depressed:

Things you may do …

  • Stop doing things you used to enjoy
  • Have trouble getting things done
  • Are unable to focus
  • Remain in your home for long periods of time
  • Pull away from loved ones
  • Use alcohol or sedatives excessively

Things you may think …

  • “I’m worthless”
  • “I’m not good enough”
  • “I deserve to feel like this”
  • “I will never be happy”
  • “This is my fault”
  • “Life is not worth living”

Things you may feel …

  • Guilt
  • Irritability
  • Anger
  • Frustration
  • Unhappiness
  • Indecisiveness
  • Disappointment
  • Sadness

Things you may experience physically:

  • Lethargy
  • Feeling sick and run down
  • Having headaches and body pains
  • Having an upset stomach
  • Irritabile bowels
  • Insomnia or excessive sleeping
  • Extreme weight changes and appetite changes

Note: This is just a short list of symptoms you may be experiencing if you’re depressed. Consult a mental health professional for proper assessment and treatment.

Did you say, yes to all of them? Say, yes to none? Either way: keep reading.

Your mental health affects how you deal with your physical health, so if you become depressed, you’re less likely to manage your diabetes well, which can lead to complications and poor health in general. Essentially, both aspects of care are paramount and affect your well-being in tandem, so don’t neglect either today or tomorrow!

Dr. Diana Naranjo, Assistant Professor of Psychiatry & Behavioral Studies and Dr. Korey Hood, Professor of Pediatrics at Stanford University, work exclusively with diabetes patients and believe that in terms of having optimal mental health with diabetes, depression prevention is key. If you know you are at a higher risk of developing depression or an anxiety disorder, being proactive can also improve your quality of life in the long run.

Planning ahead is all a part of self-care and can include reaching out to the support sources of friends, family, community groups and your credentialed diabetes educator or therapist.

If you have diabetes, it’s normal to experience a wide range of emotions as well as suffer physical setbacks. Especially right after diagnosis, many people report grieving for their health from before and the life they had previously. This is also true for parents or caregivers of those diagnosed with Type 1 diabetes.

The bottom line is that your mental health matters — early in the game and later on — so talking to a health professional can help. Treating your depression or anxiety may require more than talk therapy though. Some people are genetically predisposed to developing mental illness while life circumstances and stress can bring the onset of symptoms. Treatment could include short-term or long-term medication in conjunction with other forms of therapy.

Be sure to ask your therapist if he or she has had experience with clients who have Type 1. If not — and this is most likely the case — you can provide your mental health caregiver with additional information to help her or him understand what Type 1 is and the difficulties you face daily.

“Remember, you’re interviewing and hiring your therapist,” says Dr. Korey Hood. “And the discussion of mental health should not be separate from the discussion about your diabetes.”

In addition to working with a mental healthcare provider, try implementing the following in terms of self-care to help maintain a healthy mental state:

  • Join a community, reach out to other T1D groups and share your story
  • Ask questions of others, learn more about diabetes and depression
  • Perform moderate physical activity (consult your doctor about what would be a healthy level of exercise)
  • Eat healthy foods
  • Maintain a healthy weight
  • Limit your alcohol use

If you think you or someone you know might be contemplating suicide, reach out for additional help here:

Suicide Prevention Lifeline Or call 1 (800) 273-8255 (United States)

Just as much as blood glucose levels are important information in managing your diabetes successfully, so are feelings. Remember that you aren’t alone and there are people out there who understand and have been there. Reach out. Be proactive. And talk about it. There is a wide range of mental health treatments available, so consult a expert today to learn how you can improve your quality of life.

Verified by Dr. Mark Heyman, Director of the Center for Diabetes and Mental Health (CDMH) in Solana Beach, CA. Mark received his PhD in Clinical Psychology from The George Washington University and completed his clinical training at UCSD School of Medicine.

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3 Effective Ways to Beat Morning Depression

BY GREG MELBOURNE Do You Dread Having to Wake Up in the Mornings and Face the Day? 3 Ways to Beat Morning Depression Do you experience feelings of fatigue, extreme sadness or hopelessness first thing every morning? Perhaps these feelings fade as the day goes on, but they’re back again next morning. You could be experiencing […]

Ten Tips to Help You Feel Happier

Happiness is an elusive concept, we all want it but not many of us can define what it actually is and even fewer how to get it.

Unfortunately, a lot of us fall into the trap of the ‘I will be happy when’mentality. It’s an easy fix supported by our own psychology and propagated by the modern world. You end up thinking; ‘I will be happy when I have lost 10kg’s’, ‘I will be happy when I find a partner’, ‘I will be happy when I get that new car’ and so on. The difficulty is that you will be happy briefly, or at least you think you will. But this feeling won’t last long and then you will be onto the next thing that you believe you need to feel happy.

Now, don’t get me wrong, being healthier and finding positive relationships are good goals, but when you anchor your entire life onto the ‘i’ll be happy when’ philosophy you will always be left wanting more and the happiness you seek will likely remain elusive.

I am not promising that trying the following tips will immediately fix everything, but remember that you are the author, editor and viewer of your own life. You choose what you do from day to day. You filter experiences based on what you expect to see and you choose what you focus on and remember. So maybe just try some of these and see how you feel, who knows it could really make a difference, they have to me over the years.

  1. Try something new.

Now this doesn’t have to be big, in fact it can be tiny and in any aspect of your life. Try a new route from work and see what different sights there are, or people you meet. Maybe it will simply turn out to be quicker. Try a new restaurant, try a new activity.  Go big and visit a country you have never been to before, go brave and ask that person out, or end a toxic relationship. Novelty can help reinvigorate you, it can give you new perspectives, new experiences. You may meet new people, who in turn give you new ideas. It can give you new things to consider and talk about. Maybe just try one new thing a month and see what changes.

  1. Start Small

This is really important, people often make the mistake of trying to change everything at once. You set yourself giant targets and when you don’t achieve them in a month you start giving up and feel like you have failed. Instead focus on the tiny wins. If you want to lose weight, don’t think “I want to lose 2 stone”, start some exercise and if you feel a bit better then thats your target. Maybe your clothes feel a bit looser or you have little bit more energy. There is nothing wrong with big bold targets, but don’t measure your progress by it. Instead, break it into smaller goals and celebrate when you achieve them (perhaps not with a cheesecake though).

  1. Count the Good Things

Try this experiment with a friend, when you are somewhere you haven’t been before, ask them to look around and memorize everything that is red. Once they have done that, ask them to close their eyes and list all the things around them that are blue. A lot of people will struggle because they simply haven’t paid attention or focussed on the blue things around them. This is how our minds work. Very simply, we see what we expect to see and remember based on our preconceptions, your mind filters to make it more efficient. Now this is great from a survival perspective however it can cause problems. If we expect to have a bad day we will unconsciously only look for the things that confirm this. If we think we are unlucky we will look for things that prove our bad luck streak. Instead try something very simple, everyday before you go to sleep, think through your day and focus on five good things that have happened. They could be anything from ‘a nice walk in the sunshine’ to ‘meeting someone new’. There are always at least five events you can find that haven’t been awful or disastrous. Try this for a while and you may be surprised how it starts to change your mindset. You will start to look for more and more of the good and likely feel more positive.

  1. Say no….and yes more

This might sound like contradictory advice, but a lot of us spend a significant amount of time trying to second guess what other people want us to do. We try and make decisions on their wants and needs. We might do this for lots of reasons; we care for them, love them, live with them, dislike them and so on. Instead I want you to make decisions about how you feel and what you want. Have the confidence to say no to things you don’t want to do and yes to things that you do want to do. You may have avoided things in the past as you are worried that friends and family might judge you or it might change their view of you, but it’s not their life! It’s not about being selfish, just recognising that to be a good friend to others you need to first look after yourself and that you are entitled to do what makes you happy.

  1. Read a Book

In a world of social media and access to non-stop entertainment, books have sometimes fallen out of favour. Books give you a window into a different world or another persons life, a glimpse into history, they stimulate your imagination and mind. The focus required to read without distractions is sometimes considered a form of meditation; you can’t half read like you do with some TV programmes, it requires all of your attention. Books have the time to be more descriptive and delve deeper, ask questions that mass media are unwilling to, they can put you in the shoes of another world changing your perspective on life. Books have literally changed the course of history so why not give one a go.

  1. Stop and Meditate

We spend so much time running around thinking about work, family, friends worrying about what we have to do next, dwelling on something we did last week, rarely just stopping and taking in where we are and how we feel right now. Meditation can be practiced in many forms and its worth learning more about it. Essentially though, meditation asks you to focus on the moment you are in now, your place within it and the internal feelings and thoughts going on at that moment. Acknowledge them and then work to find stillness and quietness. Learn to slow down and quieten your mind to stop if from jumping from thought to thought like a over excited animal. Simply give yourself 5 minutes a few times in your day to just stop and look around you, admire the view and really take it in. Ask yourself, where are you now and how do you actually feel?

  1. Exercise

In anything, anywhere and anytime, just do it. Stop worrying about what to do and stop giving yourself the excuse that you have no time. Everyone has 10 minutes to take a brisk walk even if it’s to pick up the kids, 20 minutes for a run, 15 minutes for some Yoga, weights or just some stretching in your living room before you crash in front of the TV. The physical and psychological benefits of exercise are documented on an almost daily basis and finding information could not be easier online. Just start, today, you will not regret it.

  1. Think about your Food

Like with little changes you don’t have to stop eating all your favourite foods (pizza) immediately but perhaps just cut down on some of the worst offenders. You know what they are. Fast food, packaged cheap food full of salt and sugar. Reduce your meat intake for the sake of your own gut and the environment, eat…….some…….greens. It really isn’t rocket science, you just have to eat a balanced diet, there is so much information online and healthy food isn’t that expensive anymore. Now I know this is difficult when you don’t have time or money to cook, but a bag of salad is instant and chicken takes 10 mins to cook. Like above, focus on little changes that you can maintain and see how you feel after a few weeks. It should be no surprise that the food you put into your body can dramatically affect your internal state.

  1. Give

“No-one is useless in this world who lightens the burdens of another” Charles Dickens

Giving money is great and I applaud you for doing it, but also try and give your time. Stop and talk to people and really listen to them. Volunteer for something nearby.  Your time is the most precious resource you have, far greater than money, and spending it to help others is an amazing way to improve the world around you and you will be surprised how good it makes you feel. Give to charity, help others, give anything you can and as much or as little as you want to. There are always people more and less fortunate than you, don’t judge or compare just give.

  1. Spend time with your Friends and Family

There have been numerous surveys over the years conducted with terminally ill patients each one asking them about the meaning of their life, what made them happy and what they wished they could change about how they lived their lives. With each study there are some things that just keep coming up. For a start “I wish I worked more” is never in the list and almost always at the top is wishing they had spent more time with their friends and family. Good relationships are believed to even lengthen your life and none of us can get through this alone.

Remember though people come and go into your life, don’t be afraid to make new friends or say goodbye to toxic relationships. Never worry about calling that friend or relative you haven’t spoken to for years. They are just like you and will be busy with their lives and wondering if they should call you. Always try and make time for a coffee or beer or just a chat with your friends and family, they are literally the anchors of your life. They reflect who you are and how you live your life and are the ones standing with you in your time of need and you in theirs.

One more thing before you go, another common theme from these studies is patients often comment how they wished they had lived true to themselves and had the bravery to live their lives as they wanted to and not how they thought others wanted them to.

So here is a little experiment to leave you with, in Australia, the life expectancy is just over 82 years which is actually only 718,320 hours, this really doesn’t sound like much does it? But it gets more powerful when you divide that by three. A third for sleep and at least a third for work leaving you with less than 240,000 hours of free time…..then subtract how ever many years you have lived.

Life is genuinely very short and you should strive to live your own life and as positively as possible.

“Happiness is not something you postpone for the future; it is something you design for the present” – Jim Rohn

https://www.pickthebrain.com/

The Power of a Morning Routine

By Laura Greenstein

It’s early. You don’t want to move, let alone get up and start the day. You feel drained. You’re cozy, all wrapped up in blankets. Thoughts about all that you should accomplish today floods your mind. You feel overwhelmed, so you hit “SNOOZE” one more time.

Uh oh, now you’ve overslept. You’re running late. Time to get up and rush into the day.

Sound familiar? Mornings are hard, right? Actually, mornings aren’t definitively hard—they can be made easier.

The key to an easier morning is to keep your first waking hour as consistent as possible throughout the weeks. The more we struggle to make decisions, the more energy we deplete. When first starting the day, it’s important to avoid “decision fatigue” by having a set morning routine.

Having a morning routine can increase your energy, productivity and positivity. It also generates momentum, building up to the brain’s peak time for cognitive work (late morning). Here are a few suggestions to include in your morning routine.

Ease Into The Day

It’s easier to lull yourself out of sleep when you’re not rushing into the day. You feel more motivated to open your eyes and let your body properly wake up when you have a little bit of time to lounge in bed without jumping up. After a few minutes of lounging, follow these steps:

  1. Open your curtains and let the natural light energize you. Exposing yourself to sunlight in the morning can improve your alertness and energy during the day.
  2. Put some upbeat tunes on—music lights up the entire brain.
  3. Do some light stretching to get your blood flowing.

These small things can help you start the day in a positive mood, rather than feeling stressed to get up and out the door.

Eat Breakfast

Research shows that those who eat breakfast have more energy than those who wait until lunch to eat. While coffee will help jolt you awake, your body will eventually crash without food. You don’t need to feast first thing in the morning—a healthy snack and lots of water is all that’s needed to start the day off right.

Read

There are many ways to stimulate your brain, but one of the most recommended methods is reading. Reading a book in the morning can start your day in a richly detailed story, “how-to” or narrative, as opposed to a stressful, overflowing to-do list.

Reading is considered a “mental break,” because the brain is only focusing on one thing rather than the usual eight things. You can’t multitask while reading a book, and what you’re focusing on causes you to think, use imagination and create your own visual imagery. It’s this type of focus that gets our minds more nimble and creative. As the saying goes: “Reading is to the mind what exercise is to the body.”

Stimulate Your Body

Speaking of, you should also exercise in the morning. Exercise increases production of the neurotransmitters serotonin and norepinephrine, which enhances the body’s ability to deal with stressors and creates a post-workout feeling of bliss. Research shows that you are more creative and productive for the two hours following exercise. It also shows that people who exercise regularly are less stressed at work and more able to maintain work-life balance.

Begin Work With A Proactive Mindset

Psychologist Ron Friedman explains in an interview with Harvard Business Review that our usual start to the work day—checking email, answering questions or listening to voicemails—is, as he says, “cognitively expensive.” Starting the day this way puts you into a “reactive” mindset, and while switching from a proactive mindset to a reactive mindset is easy, the reverse is much more challenging. Instead, he suggests starting the workday with a brief planning session: strategize first, execute second.

Using these tips, here’s an example of what a healthy morning routine could look like:

6:55-7:00 – Slowly wake up, and open your eyes.
7:00-7:15 – Open the curtains, put on energizing music and do some light stretching.
7:15-7:30 – Eat some fruit and almonds for breakfast.
7:30-8:00 – Read and drink tea or water to get the mind stimulated and the body hydrated.
8:00-8:30 – Shower (don’t forget to sing!) and get ready for work.
8:30-9:00 – Walk to work to get in some moderate exercise.
9:00-9:15 – Begin work with a planning session to strategize your day.

As you can see, this routine takes two hours from the time you wake up until you get to work. While it may be difficult to find the extra time, you will find yourself reaping only benefits throughout the day. Many people don’t like getting up early, but this is the type of routine that can help you actually enjoy mornings.

 

Laura Greenstein is communications coordinator at NAMI.

https://www.nami.org/Blogs/NAMI-Blog/August-2017/The-Power-of-a-Morning-Routine

Rules Of The Road For Succeeding In College With A Mood Disorder

By Sharon Carnahan, Ph.D.

 

You’ve done it! High school is over and it’s time for college. Everyone is just so proud… and you’re alternating between wildly optimistic and sure of certain failure. As a person with a diagnosed mood disorder, you just barely survived high school—and that’s no exaggeration.

Maybe you’ve accumulated a list of experiences that don’t exactly enhance your resume—frequent absences, medication trials, psychiatrist visits (outpatient or in), special schools, therapists, suicide attempts and drinking sprees. But you’ve gotten good enough grades, and you’re off to college away from home. Maybe you’re hoping the geographic and lifestyle change will help you (You can confess! It’s what your Aunt Mildred thinks, too).

You are one of a new and mighty generation, with access to early diagnosis and treatment for your mood disorder. In generations past, a “nervous breakdown” in youth meant years of seclusion, sedatives and broken dreams. Today, though, higher education has never been more accessible for those living with mental illness.

With support from NAMI and resources like “The Mighty” and social media, you certainly won’t be living with mental illness all alone, and you’re about to join an exciting, new college community where stigma is reduced. But only about 56% of students earn degrees within six years—it isn’t easy.

Your success depends partly on how quickly you can get into the driver’s seat of managing your illness. So, here are a few practical tips for the road ahead:

Prepare For Your Trip

Make a mental health plan with your parents and hometown mental health professionals. Assume the year won’t be perfect and set up your supports before you go. NAMI actually has an awesome guide that can help you plan and start all necessary conversations—including what you decide to disclose to college officials about your mental health condition. Planning will help you succeed.

Avoid The Potholes

Sleep! You know you have to. Lack of sleep is both a trigger and a symptom. Even if you’re behind on studying—it’s better to get a C on a quiz than deal with a trip to the ER. Limit your late nights to 1-2 per week, max. If your sleep gets disrupted in a dorm, make a change. Speaking of lost sleep: please party wisely. Your medications probably don’t mix well with alcohol and ignoring this warning will be at your peril.

Put On The Gas

Practice self-care. This is likely to be easier than in high school, because many of your new friends will be going for walks or runs, working out in the campus athletic center, taking classes in dance or fencing, practicing meditation and joining clubs full of likeminded students. College is a great time to develop healthy habits, and exercise and self-care are so important for mental health.

Choose Your Passengers

At home, most people probably knew a lot about you. Be honest and open at college, but be wary. Once you’ve shared your story, you cannot un-share it. The world is not always a fair place. If you tell others you have a mental health condition, you may be known by your personality and your diagnosis. Some will see you through a veil of their own ignorance. If this happens, you can take on the task of educating others. You may choose to become a mental health advocate, but wait until you are ready.

As you head off to college, be happy! And be prepared. You have a disorder that you wouldn’t wish on anyone, but it is part of who you are. You’re already accomplished: You made it to college and that’s a great achievement. Your preparations will help you be even more successful and every class will bring you closer to having an educated mind.

Many of the people you will be reading about in school—Charles Darwin, Winston Churchill, J.K. Rowling, William Styron, Annie Lamott, Kay Redfield Jameson—were once in your shoes. These role models were once young adults facing the adversity of living with a mood disorder, but not letting it define them. When their works are discussed in class, you will have powerful insights about their lives. Mood disorders don’t go away, but with medication, support, lifestyle care and a little luck, they can be managed. You can succeed on your journey.

 

Sharon Carnahan, Ph.D. is Professor of Psychology at Rollins College in Winter Park, FL and Executive Director of Hume House Child Development & Student Research Center. She has taught first-year college students since 1990 and is an advocate for students with special health care needs. www.rollins.edu/cdc.

 

https://www.nami.org/Blogs/NAMI-Blog/August-2017/Rules-of-the-Road-for-Succeeding-in-College-with-a

Mental Health In The Workplace: The Value Of Rest

By Jennifer W. Adkins, Ph.D.

 

Earlier this week, I found a scrap of paper while cleaning that stopped me in my tracks. On it, I had written “take a year off” followed by a short list of commitments in my personal and professional life. The list included things I had entered into with excitement—like training other people in my profession and organizing community events—but didn’t have the time or energy needed to continue.

At the time I wrote the list, exhaustion was my norm. I was living with episodic and unpredictable pain, and my work was suffering. I didn’t have the energy to do all the things I normally do. I was keeping my commitments but performing poorly, which made me feel miserable.

What I didn’t know when I wrote that list was that depression would soon be a part of my life. I missed some of the early signs, but eventually it became clear that I was not well. The first clear sign came when I felt no joy during the Night to Shine Prom, an event my friends and I had spent months planning. It’s something we always consider to be “the happiest night of the year.” I thought something might have been “off” with the event, but as I saw joy on everyone’s face except my own, I realized something was “off” with me.

It was then I realized I needed a period of rest for my mental health. And along the way of implementing that rest, I learned a few helpful tips:

It Can Take A While

Some commitments are easy to take a break from, while others require more planning. After the Night to Shine Prom, I let the planning committee know that I wouldn’t be able to help plan the next prom. It was emotionally difficult, but it was quick. However, some of my other commitments took time to transition away from, as I had to identify and train a replacement before I could step down. It took months to fully cross off everything on my list, but each time, I felt a weight lift.

You May Second-Guess Yourself

Each person will face different challenges when preparing for a period of rest. I felt like I would be judged, I felt guilty for being less involved, I worried that important things would be left undone, and I didn’t want my relationships to suffer. These thoughts were common in the beginning, and I had to keep reminding myself how important it was for me to rest and recover.

People May Not Support You

Your colleagues, friends and family probably aren’t fully aware of the reasons rest is necessary for you. If their initial responses aren’t as supportive as you’d hoped for, it might mean they’re just surprised, or they rely on you and will miss your contributions. You may find it helpful to explain why you need to take a break. In some instances, though, the best thing you may be able to do is to quietly try to understand things from their perspective.

Stepping Away Is A Surprisingly Positive Process

Maybe you realize how important it is for you to cut back and have fewer responsibilities. What you may not realize is how positive it can be for other people. During the process of transitioning my responsibilities, I got to see people step up who were just as passionate about these roles as I had been. Almost immediately, the energy they brought to the roles resulted in growth and improvement I hadn’t been able to fully offer for a long time.

Rest Is Hard…

Rest is not accomplished by simply taking time off and then going back to your busy schedule. Rest occurs when you allow yourself to be fully inactive. A period of stillness and rest may be a necessary precursor to a more active mental health recovery. After a period of rest, you may find that you are more motivated to engage in activities like exercise, reading, crafting, praying, journaling or spending time with loved ones. You will be more likely to benefit from those wellness-promoting activities if you have taken time to rest first.

But The Results Are Worth It

When you’re rested, you’ll have energy to enjoy the things you love again. You’ll know you’re on the right track when your response to your personal and professional opportunities changes from “Oh no” to “Heck yes!” Even before I considered myself fully rested, I found I had more energy to be a mom, to be a wife and to commit to my work. After resting for a month, I was thrilled with the quality of my work. I even had energy left over to spend on myself and the things I enjoy.

You May Not Have All The Resources You Need To Rest

I am blessed to have the support of family and friends—and access to paid sick leave. I know these are not resources everyone has and sometimes paying the bills, getting your kids to school or taking care of your loved ones may not be things you can readily disengage from. My advice if you cannot commit several days—or, dare I say, weeks—to rest is to take advantage of whatever opportunities you can. Do what you absolutely have to do and then rest the remainder of the time. Maybe instead of committing a month to complete rest, you start by committing a month to only doing the things you need to, letting non-essential projects wait and accepting help from others when it’s offered.

I am grateful to have experienced firsthand the profound impact rest can have on mental health and work. Its positive impact has influenced me to incorporate continued rest into my regular schedule. I feel great, and I am proud of the work I am doing. I know if I want things to stay this way, I will need to intentionally make time for rest.

Coming across the slip of paper that started my journey toward rest was a shock. As soon as I saw it, memories of how physically and emotionally exhausted I was rushed in. I cried as I recalled all the moments and days I lost to pain and depression. Then I realized how much better I feel now and the role that rest played in me getting to a better place. Seeing that slip of paper strengthened my resolve to rest when I need it.

 

Jennifer Adkins is a wife, a mom, and a psychologist. Her professional interests include treatment of anxiety disorders, improving family relationships, and reducing stigma associated with mental illness. 

 

https://www.nami.org/Blogs/NAMI-Blog/August-2017/Mental-Health-in-the-Workplace-The-Value-of-Rest

Strategies For Living And Working Well With ADHD

By Alexis Anderson

 

More than three-fourths of adults who had attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) as children, still experience symptoms—and no matter the setting, it’s a challenge every day.

Starting from childhood, it’s critical for school counselors to use evidence-based interventions to help students with ADHD stay organized and manage their time. And those skills can translate into the workplace as adults. According to Counseling@NYU, which offers an online master’s in school counseling from NYU Steinhardt, small steps to manage a child’s time in the classroom efficiently and minimize distractions can make a big difference in the long run.

As an adult, you can use similar practical tactics that school counselors would use to manage your ADHD. You might not struggle with all these issues, and all these solutions may not work for you, but these tips may help boost your productivity at work.

Minimize Distractions

  • Start work earlier or stay later when it’s quieter.
  • Keep your desk clear of clutter.
  • Put a “Do Not Disturb” sign on your office. If you don’t have an office, find an empty office or a conference room.
  • Position your desk away from office traffic.
  • Ask if you can work from home on certain days.
  • Use noise-canceling headphones or listen to music (this can help the brain concentrate).

Track Time

ADHD means you may take longer to finish projects. So, it’s important to get help staying on track.

  • Bundle tasks. If you can, answer your phone, check your email and scan Twitter only at set times of the day. Otherwise, let your calls go to voicemail and stay off the Internet.
  • Clock yourself. Use an alarm or your phone to keep from veering off to another task. prematurely. A beeper also can be handy if you’re prone to hyper-focus and lose track of time.
  • Enlist your supervisor. Your boss may be able to help you stay on top of your deadlines with reminders and regular feedback.

Get Moving

If you’re prone to hyperactivity, you already know that moving any part of your body can bring relief. Turns out even tapping your fingers can help raise levels of dopamine and norepinephrine brain chemicals that help sharpen focus and attention, so:

  • Move around. If you’re restless, find an appropriate excuse to get up and walk. Grab a coffee from the cafe. Go to the bathroom. Take the stairs. Chat with a coworker down the hall.
  • Fidget. If you’re trapped at your desk or at a meeting, look for unobtrusive ways to release physical tension. You can discreetly wiggle your toes, tap your pen on your thighs, doodle, take sips of a drink or squeeze a stress ball.
  • Work out. Exercise can be a powerful antidote for hyperactivity. Just pick something you enjoy—whether it’s yoga, walking, biking or team sports—and get moving.

Don’t Forget Self-Care

It’s a myth that you can treat ADHD only with medications or professional therapy. Self-help strategies can also help corral your attention and energies, so you can focus and be productive. Here are some ways to help yourself:

  • Get out. Being outdoors, especially when the sun’s out, can boost your mood.
  • Eat right. Fuel your body with lean proteins, whole grains and vegetables.
  • Sleep well. Make getting quality shut-eye a priority. Avoid caffeine in the evenings, put away the phone and stick to a restful bedtime routine.
  • Chill out. Destress your mind and body with meditation, yoga, tai chi or mindful walking.

ADHD may be a well-known condition, but it’s often misunderstood. You may help yourself if you educate your loved ones and coworkers about how it affects your life and job. Then make these productivity and self-help tips your habits, and you might just turn chaos into calm.

 

Alexis Anderson is a Digital PR Coordinator covering K-12 education at 2U, Inc. Alexis supports outreach for their school counseling, teaching, mental health and occupational therapy programs.

 

https://www.nami.org/Blogs/NAMI-Blog/December-2017/Strategies-for-Living-and-Working-Well-with-ADHD