Mindfulness in the Midst of a Pandemic
As a therapist, people tend to look to me for answers. We ask the questions to gain understanding and help guide and walk with people on their journeys. In the midst of a pandemic, how does that work though?
Tag Archive for: Mindfulness
The Pathway To Peace Of Mind
To create the roadways of a city, it takes years of planning, developing and building. It’s a never-ending process as new ideas are constantly suggested on how to make everything more efficient and in tune with changing needs.
Peace of mind is developed the same way.
In the 1900’s, scientists believed that our brain was fully developed by age six. We could learn more, sure, but “who we were” was set. Additionally, it was believed that after our teenage years and early years of adulthood, our brain and bodies declined through aging, injury, disease and illness.
“And then,” stated Dr. Lara Boyd, a brain researcher from the University of British Columbia, “studies began to show remarkable amounts of reorganization in the adult brain. And the research has shown us that all of our behaviors change our brain. That these changes are not limited by age…in fact they’re taking place all the time.” Meaning we can reorganize, change and restructure the physical makeup of our brain no matter what age we are.
So, imagine your brain is a city composed of many roadways that have all been under construction since before you were even born. And just like cities, we can create new roadways that enable us to be happier.
I’m sure you’ve heard about the many ways to be happier and healthier, but true change relies on deciding on a new habit or practice and dedicating yourself to it. That’s when your roadways will begin to evolve for good. Here are some important things to keep in mind when you’re working on yourself.
Change
Whatever we decide to think or do, it has to be different than our norm. For example, if we decide to move towards having more peace of mind by going on walks three times a week, and we’re already walking three times a week, we are not going to change. But if we decide to also practice mindfulness while walking, this is different.
Belief
Whether it’s exercise, nutrition, meditation, yoga, tai chi, therapy, medication, religion, spirituality or any other strategies we might use to become happier, we need to believe in what we’re doing and believe we can succeed. Rather than going through the motions, we need to embrace the belief that we are changing our thoughts or behaviors to become happier.
Motivation
“The harder we try, the more we are motivated, the more alert we are, and the better (worse) the outcome, the bigger the brain change,” wrote Dr. Michael Merzenich in Soft Wired. To make a change, it takes commitment and effort. There are times when we just don’t want to get out of bed to do yoga or go for a brisk walk. That’s true for anyone. Occasionally missing an opportunity to practice what we’ve decided to do is okay. But if we allow ourselves to continually take breaks, then we are pausing our progress.
Intention
Our intention should be all-in. I once had a client who listened to guided meditation while he was driving and then later in the day when he was focusing on a project at work. He said he didn’t have time for anything more intensive, and he couldn’t figure out why he wasn’t feeling any better. It takes focus to make change for the better. It helps to set aside specific time so you can focus solely on one thing at that time.
Practice And Repeat
Most of us quit doing what we’re doing once we experience “success.” That’s pretty common. But when we practice beyond “success,” we convert short-term changes into long-term memory and that’s what sticks. It has been found that repetition is effective in helping children learn how to read (imagine if they just stopped after completing their first book?). The same is true when establishing an ever-growing peace of mind.
It’s best to look at creating happiness and peace of mind as an evolving process rather than an end goal. It’s important to keep in mind that we’ll always be moving towards happiness. The roadways to peace are never finished—we’re always under construction.
And we can either let our old pathways determine who we are or keep working on becoming who we want to be. Each step we take enables us to become happier with ourselves, our relationships and with the world. And we can achieve a greater sense of peace and calm as we continue to grow.
Larry Shushansky has seen thousands of individuals, couples and families over 35 years as a counselor. Through this and the process he used to get clean from his alcohol and drug addiction, Larry has developed the concept of Independent Enough. Follow him on Facebook here. You can also access his blog through his website at Independentenough.com
https://www.nami.org/Blogs/NAMI-Blog/December-2017/The-Pathway-to-Peace-of-Mind
33 Things All Daughters of Strong Women Will Relate to
My mom is not only a strong mother, but a strong woman.
She’s the woman who packed up her tiny life to move to NYC at 16 years-old. She’s the woman who had a special needs child, and then another child after that – on her own.
She’s the woman who started her own business with no college degree, and made it to the top in a man’s world. She is strength and dignity and beauty all wrapped into one.
Any girl who grew up with a mother like this – the kind who won’t take no for an answer; the kind who will drive two hours to pick you up in the middle of the night; the kind who can solve any problem with a phone call – has learned a few things from her.
Mom’s words will always be the loudest ones in your head. They will always ring clear when you need that extra push from her tenacious, compassionate, lionesse-heart. From being her daughter, she has taught you so much about being a woman:
- When someone tells you that you can’t do something, do it anyways. And do it well.
- You can go it alone. And it’s better to be alone than unhappy with someone else.
- Don’t apologize for being successful. Never apologize for being great.
- Or for having a voice. It’s better to speak up and be wrong, than to not speak up at all.
- Empower other women, don’t compete with them.
- Brush it off. There will always be people who put you down, but don’t mind them. Their shittiness is more about them than it is about you.
- Do things that make you feel pretty. When you feel beautiful inside, you look beautiful outside.
- Be humble. Big-headed people are just insecure.
- Always have a little black dress in your closet. And sometimes two.
- Don’t let other people’s accomplishments intimidate you. Use it to feed your hunger for success.
- Do your squats. Feel blessed to have that big booty.
- Don’t go to sleep with your makeup on. In 20 years you’ll be thankful.
- It’s okay to love yourself. It doesn’t make you narcissistic; it makes you confident.
- In order to lift yourself up, don’t knock someone else down. It won’t get you anywhere bigger, better, or faster.
- Don’t compare yourself to other women. It won’t make you better.
- Take pride in being a woman. We’re so much luckier than men are. *wink*
- Your body’s a temple. Respect it; be kind to it; love it.
- Use condoms. Seriously.
- Do your kegels. Seriously.
- Don’t write your story before you’ve even opened the book. Things change, plans change; life happens.
- Don’t let boys be mean to you. Don’t cry over anyone who wouldn’t cry over you.
- Forgiving someone doesn’t make you a doormat. It makes you healthy.
- And apologizing doesn’t make you weak. It shows growth.
- Accept a compliment with a smile. But inside you can scream FUCK. YEAH.
- If a man wants to give you a gift, let him. And no, it doesn’t mean you owe him something.
- It’s okay to cry. And to laugh, and to scream. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.
- Sleeping around won’t make you feel good. Your body should only be shared with the special ones.
- Focus your energy on making yourself better, not making others worse.
- Wear red lipstick, and own it.
- If someone wrongs you, let it go, and move on. Success is the best revenge.
- Primping should feel like a treat, not like a job.
- Don’t aim to be perfect, aim to be human.
- The three best things in life are chocolate, champagne, and sex.And that’s the truth.
http://www.puckermob.com/relationships/all-daughters-of-strong-women-will-relate-to
