Tag Archive for: alcohol abuse

CARE-ing for a Friend/ Family Member who is Misusing Drugs or Alcohol

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Caring for a loved one struggling with the mental and physical reliance on substances can be a very painful experience, especially for those who experience the effects first-hand. Substance use impacts the entire family system; therefore it is important to have support at all steps along the way–from the time of emerging concerns to treatment and recovery. Knowing what to do is not always easy, especially when watching a loved one engage in self-defeating behavior.

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Connect with the Celebration of Recovery!

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Did you know that Minnesota is also known as “Minnesober” or “The Land of 10,000 Treatment Centers?!”

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Recovery and St. Patrick’s Day

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Most often, when people in recovery from alcohol and drug dependence think about getting through the Holidays and staying sober, they think about Thanksgiving, Christmas, and New Years. These Holidays are sometimes referred to as the Bermuda Triangle of relapse. March 17th is often forgotten in the mix of holidays, despite its association with pubs, drinking, and parades. The hazards of relapse are all there for the individual who has years of ingrained patterns of using when celebrating this occasion.

These triggers are similar to those associated with the other holidays. Memories of music, the smells of traditional foods, and even the color green can all trigger the positive memories from the past, while the blinders of denial shield the mind from the negative consequences experienced in years gone by. As with other holidays, liquor may appear in places one was not expecting. Proprietors and friends may offer a red solo cup of beer, or a shot of Irish whiskey for your coffee, in a local business. Caught off guard, in a moment of awkwardness, one may be inclined to accept that “wee drop” while others, who can drink without impunity, are enjoying their beverages all around.

The plan, and the principles applied, is the same as any other plan for early recovery. First, avoid people, places, and things associated with past drinking/using rituals. Remember, this is not a life sentence. Many people in recovery enjoy going to parties and other places where liquor are served, but only after they have developed a firm foundation in recovery! The time this may take varies, but most people in recovery will advise that anyone with less than a year sobriety should avoid being around parties and alcohol like they would the plague. If you have to ask yourself if being around alcohol is a good idea, it probably isn’t.

Next, plan your day. Begin by getting your head on straight. An early morning AA/NA meeting is an excellent start. If one is spiritually inclined, one can follow the true Irish tradition of attending mass on Saint Patrick’s. If one is going to party, party with people that are in recovery also. After work one could attend a meeting when everyone else is off to the pub. In Ireland, Saint Patrick’s Day is traditionally celebrated by attending mass, and then spending the holiday with family and a traditional Irish meal (which is not corned beef and cabbage, by the way). This could be Shepherd’s Pie or salmon served with mashed potatoes. And of course you can’t leave out the Irish Soda Bread, which is a simple to make recipe and delicious served warm with butter.

The key for a successful life in recovery is to replace old drinking/drugging rituals with new rituals, preferably shared with a non-using social support network. So don’t be gloomy on this special holiday dwelling on the old days. Begin a new life centered on new enjoyable activities with clean and sober friends and many years ahead of memorable Saint Patrick’s Days!

By Thomas Finnerty, MHS, LCADC, HS-BCP

Recovery and St. Patrick’s Day

Holiday Drinking: What Is Normal?

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Holiday Drinking

I recently read an interesting article about a Caron Treatment Centers study titled “Many Americans Oblivious to What High-Risk Drinking Looks Like.” Dr. Harris Stratyner was quoted as saying “Alcohol is still the number one cause of damaging behavior at holiday celebrations throughout the U.S”. The information in this article got me thinking… are the holidays a time and excuse for people to abuse alcohol and what are the consequences? The Caron Treatment Centers study found that even non-alcoholics are over-imbibing at these events and experiencing many negative effects such as:

 

  • 50% saw a co-worker/supervisor share inappropriate personal details about themselves or other colleagues
  • 45% saw a co-worker/supervisor flirting with another colleague
  • 43% saw a co-worker/supervisor drive even though he or she was drunk
  • 35% saw a co-worker/supervisor using excessive profanity
  • 30% saw a co-worker/supervisor argue, be abusive or engage in sexual activity
  • 60% of those who attend family holiday parties also reported that a family member behaved inappropriately after drinking too much alcohol. One respondent shared that alcohol prompted “a knock out drag out fist fight” and another spoke of “emotionally abusive behavior” during a family holiday party. Others said relatives wanted to drive even though they were drunk

I don’t want to be a “buzz kill” but my question is, are we having fun yet?  In Pete Hamill’s book A Drinking Life his final drink before getting sober was at a New Year’s Eve party—and he writes: “But once more, I felt as if I were shooting the scene with a camera from across the bar…It was New Year’s Eve. We were supposed to be having a good time.  Look: there were balloons. There were funny hats. There were noise makers. Charlie, bring me a vodka and tonic, will you please?…I stared into my glass, at the melting ice and vodka-logged lime. And I said to myself, I am never going to do this again.  I finished my drink. It was the last one I ever had.” Hamill took a moment to step back from the festive scene, observed the drunken and insincere behavior and concluded that it felt meaningless.  Alcohol is such an integral part of holiday events and this can be a challenge particularly for those who are sober and especially for those in early sobriety.

According to the National Institute on Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism (NIAAA) low-risk drinking is defined as no more than four drinks per sitting and not more than 14 per week for men and no more than three drinks per sitting and no more than 7 per week for women.

The holidays are notoriously an emotionally “loaded” time for many people as well as a joyous time.  They can be especially challenging for those who are sober or choosing not to drink.  However, it is possible to be truly present for these holiday events without drinking or abusing alcohol by learning coping skills to tolerate or set limits with more challenging work and social engagements:

• Have an escape plan by bringing your own vehicle or figure out the available public transportation near the holiday event that will enable you to leave if you are feeling tempted to drink or uncomfortable.
• Ask another sober person to be “on call” for you to check in with during the event for additional support.
• Let someone whom you trust at the holiday event know that you may need additional support during this occasion or time of year.
• Find a tasty non-alcoholic beverage you can drink that will give you something to hold and may prevent people from offering you an alcoholic drink.
• Come up with a standard response as to why you are not drinking that may vary depending on the type of holiday event and if you want those in attendance to know you are sober: “I don’t drink anymore,” “I am not drinking tonight,” “I am on medication and cannot have alcohol,” “I am the designated driver tonight,” etc.
• Be choosy about the holiday events that you attend and avoid “people pleasing” by saying “yes” to events that you don’t need to nor don’t want to be at.
• Take care of yourself prior to these events: get enough sleep, eat regularly, exercise, relax, meditate, etc.
• Find new holiday activities and traditions that you may never have tried in the past which do not involve drinking alcohol (volunteer at a soup kitchen, go ice skating, have a sober get-together and gift exchange, see a movie, take a trip, etc.)
• Remember to create structure for yourself if you have time off (volunteer, exercise, make plans, got to mutual-help group meetings, therapy, etc.).
• Work extra hours if needed in order to distract yourself.
• Learn to say “no” if you do not want to attend an event.
• Put your sobriety first and realize that others may not understand what this entails, but that it is your number one priority.
• “Just say no” to rum cake!
• Attend extra mutual-help group meetings during this season (i.e., A.A. has “alcathons” that involve 24 hours of meetings, food, socializing at designated locations on Thanksgiving Eve, Thanksgiving, Christmas Eve, Christmas, New Year’s Eve and New Year’s Day. Contact your local A.A. Intergroup for more information.
• Be honest with loved ones if you are having a hard time and let them know how to support you.
• Remember that “this too shall pass” and there is life after the holidays.
• No matter how you are feeling, you do not have to drink!

For more resources and information about high-functioning alcoholics, visit www.highfunctioningalcoholic.com

By Sarah A Benton MS, LMHC, LPC

https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/the-high-functioning-alcoholic/201311/holiday-drinking-what-is-normal