Tag Archive for: Stress Tips

Holiday Tips

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I recently saw a meme on social media that said “It’s almost time for my normal anxiety to turn into my fancy holiday anxiety.” I had to chuckle when picturing anxiety showing up in a glittery ugly sweater or draped in all things sparkly. Humor aside, it shows that during the holidays, our existing anxiety (or depression) does not just “take a holiday” but rather increases due to stress and societal pressures.

This time of year can be an incredibly stressful and frustrating time. On one hand, we fill our days to the brim with spending time with family and friends, social events, potlucks, baking, preparing meals, finding the right present within your means, and many other tasks guised in the name of the holidays.  All of this “fun” can turn to chaotic quickly. Then on the other hand, some of us may have unwelcome reminders or memories associated with the holidays or feel more alone during this time as we watch others join together and celebrate. Whatever the reason for your distress, here are some helpful strategies to help manage the rise of our fancy anxiety (or depression) in finding ways to relax during the busy time of year or help with our perspective on the season.

  • Self-soothe – Using all 5 senses, focus on what you notice. Cast any judgments away and focus on the experience in the moment. Here are some examples.
    • Taste – slowly eat and notice different flavors in a favorite holiday treat or dish
    • Smell – light a candle or smell a pine tree or cup of tea
    • Sound – listen to your favorite holiday music, point our different instruments or lyrics you might have over looked
    • Sight – watch the fireplace flicker with light or notice the holiday lights all around
    • Touch – when baking or wrapping gifts, bring attention to the different textures you feel
  • Pay it forward – doing something kind for others or contributing can make us feel good about ourselves and give perspective. This could be anything from holding a door open for someone, greeting someone with a smile, adopting a family for the holiday, or volunteering. It does not need to be a large act to bring a sense of contribution to your holiday.
  • Be intentional about breaks – Set aside 15 minutes to check in with yourself and pause from all of the holiday excitement. Read a favorite book, do a meditation, sit in silence, or snuggle up with someone you love.
  • Simplify and slow down – With your to-do list growing, it may feel like you need to be in multiple places at once; however, what we know about the brain is that it cannot think 2 things at once. So, focus your entire attention to the task at hand rather than jumping from task to task (aka multitasking).
  • Follow traditions (or make your own new ones) – Partake in something that brings you meaning for the season, whether this be a family tradition, baking Grandma’s cookies, or finding something new to do this time of year (i.e., sledding, ice skating, driving around to see holiday lights, etc).
  • Put down the phones – I know, I said it. Just hear me out. Often times social media can impact our level of stress by comparing ourselves to others, especially when those others seem to have it all together. They have the catalog ready decorations, Martha Stewarts holiday food spread, or gifts we cannot afford. This can lead us into a down spiral. So, try to limit your access to your phone and engage with those around you.
  • Reach out to someone– The holidays can be a lonely time for some. Sometimes we can still feel lonely in a room full of people, feel so far away and disconnected from others, or feel forgotten. Use all of your willingness to reach out to someone or connect. Whether that be grabbing a cup of hot cocoa with a friend, attending a service, volunteering, or making a phone call to someone you have lost touch with in the past. We are social creatures and need human connection.
  • Be real with yourself – This includes preparing to spend time with family or friends. You likely already know who is going to be the Grinch, who is going to over indulge in the holiday punch, who is going to bring up politics, and who is going to ask about your love life. Just because it is the holidays, does not mean we are going to change who we are or the roles we play. Have an action plan for how you are going to deal with the likely interactions or dynamics.
  • Life in moderation – Life is about balance. Enjoy the holidays by partaking in the indulgences and socialization. Moderation is key. Listen to your body and the signals it is giving you.
  • Gratitude– Research is growing on the importance and efficacy of practicing gratitude in daily life. Our brains are inherently negative so being intentional about shifting out of the holiday stress (and negativity) can help bring perspective and renew our enjoyment of the season.
    • Write down things you are thankful for in life. Focus on the small things (i.e., clean water, fresh air, etc). Nothing is too small to be grateful for in life.
    • Reflect one thing you believe you did well over the past year.
    • Compare yourself to a time in your past when you might have handled the holiday stress less effectively.
  • Permission grant yourself – The holidays are not always candy canes and sprinkles. Often times we hold ourselves to high expectations and forget we are in control of our own actions. Grant yourself permission to: take time outs/breaks, have fun, do things “out of order”, celebrate differently than family/friends/the past, start a project and stop, be honest with people (and yourself), or have days that are “humbug” or just okay.

 

Feel free to make these tips your own by adding your own personal flair to them. It is important to find what works for you and your fancy holiday distress.

 

Happy holidays,

Dr. Alison Dolan

This Is When to See a Mental Health Professional About Your Anxiety

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It seems everyone is talking about anxiety these days, and that’s not a bad thing. Shining a light on mental health helps reduce the stigma that keeps many people from seeking support.

At the same time, it can be hard to know if the worries and racing heart you experience at the thought of, say, meeting new people, is run-of-the-mill stress, or if you’re actually experiencing some level of anxiety and could benefit from seeing a professional.

“I can’t tell you how many people I see who say, ‘I don’t know if I should be coming in here,’” clinical psychologist Robert Duff, Ph.D., author of Hardcore Self Help: F**k Anxiety., tells SELF. “On a broad scale, [talking about anxiety] is positive, but I don’t blame anyone for the confusion.”

Figuring out how serious your anxiety is can be tough because anxiety is a normal and essential part of being a human.

“Anxiety is a reaction to a situation we perceive as stressful or dangerous,” Monique Reynolds, Ph.D., licensed clinical psychologist at the Center for Anxiety & Behavioral Change in Rockville, Maryland, tells SELF. This produces a stress response in your body—specifically, your brain’s hypothalamus triggers your sympathetic nervous system to release norepinephrine (aka adrenaline) and cortisol (a stress hormone) to get you out of harm’s way.

This is actually a good thing when there is a real threat of danger present. “A major part of our brain’s job is to keep us alive, and fear and anxiety are a big part of that,” Reynolds says. For example, the anxiety you would feel at seeing a truck hurtling towards you would make you move from its way more quickly.

But if you have anxiety, that stress response can kick in when it shouldn’t. “You feel very much the way you do when in a dangerous situation…[but] there’s no real danger there,” Duff says. Instead of being helpful, this misfiring of your fight or flight reaction can hinder you.

While a little anxiety can also help you to perform at an optimal level under stress, giving you a burst of adrenaline and hyper-focus to finish a business proposal before deadline or nail that dance number at a performance, living in a constant heightened state of anxiety can be distracting at best and debilitating at worst. When anxious thoughts are interfering with your life and causing you significant distress, that isn’t something you should just chalk up to nerves and push through. That’s something you can get help with.

Anxiety is the most prevalent mental illness in the United States, and it comes in various forms.

Anxiety affects about 40 million American adults each year, according to the Anxiety and Depression Association of America (ADAA). But it’s not as cut-and-dry as saying that anxiety is simply when you feel nervous all the time. This mental health condition comes in many forms.

Generalized anxiety disorder (GAD) is characterized by having excessive worries and fears for months, according to the National Institute of Mental Health (NIMH). Per the ADAA, GAD affects 6.8 million U.S. adults each year. Panic disorder involves spontaneous bouts of debilitating fear known as panic attacks, along with intense worry about when the next attack will come, according to the NIMH. Per the ADAA, it affects 6 million American adults each year. Social anxiety disorder (also known as social phobia) happens when you have a marked fear of social situations in which you might be judged or rejected, as well as avoiding these situations or experiencing symptoms like nausea, trembling, or sweating as a result.

Then there are other issues that are closely related to anxiety, like obsessive-compulsive disorder, which involves intrusive thoughts and urges, and posttraumatic stress disorder, which happens when people have a prolonged stress response to harrowing situations.

These are just some of the various anxiety and anxiety-adjacent disorders out there. That these issues can present in myriad ways can make it even harder to know if what you’re experiencing is anxiety that could benefit from outside help.

“Some people feel they can control their anxiety, some feel it’s something they ‘should’ be able to manage, some feel shame, some fear they might be ‘crazy,’ and others downplay how much their anxiety is impacting them,” Reynolds says.

If anxiety interferes with your daily life—whatever that might look like to you—that’s reason enough to see a mental health professional.

“When your world starts to become limited because of anxiety, that is a good signal that it’s time to seek treatment,” Reynolds says. “What is it doing to your life, your relationships, your sleep, health, work, and ability to learn and pursue things that are important to you?”

This “functional impairment,” as Reynolds calls it, can show up in different ways in different people. Is anxiety making you avoid doing things with loved ones because you’re too nervous to go outside? Do you skip school or work out of fear of what people may think of you? Can you not get enough sleep because you’re up all night worrying about the next day? Is your anxiety over certain tasks, like paying bills, leading to procrastination so extreme it comes with consequences, like getting your lights turned off?

Keep tabs on whether you’re blowing up at people, too. Anger and irritability can sometimes be a sign of anxiety. “We often forget that fight or flight includes ‘fight,’” Reynolds says. “If you have a shorter fuse or are always on edge for triggers, it could be related to anxiety.”

So, too, could physical issues. “We think of ourselves as these disembodied heads floating around,” Reynolds says. “We forget that there is a big feedback loop between the nervous system and the body.” Every part of you, from your head to your stomach to your feet, has nerves to regulate important processes, which is why your sympathetic nervous system’s stress response can be so far-reaching. You even have an entire nervous system reserved for gastrointestinal function, known as your enteric nervous system, which may help explain why there’s such a strong link between issues like irritable bowel syndrome and anxiety.

Constant fatigue can also kick in if your anxiety is in overdrive. “The physical reaction to anxiety, by nature, is supposed to be short-term. The body is supposed to come back down to baseline,” Duff says. “But a prolonged period of anxiety depletes your resources and exhausts you.”

“If your anxiety is bothering you and you are suffering, you deserve to get help,” Duff says. That’s true whether or not you think your anxiety is serious, whether or not you think you meet diagnostic criteria you read online, and whether or not your friends and family treat your anxiety with the weight it deserves. And if your anxiety is getting to the point where you’re worried for your safety, call 9-1-1 or the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline (it’s available 24 hours a day, seven days a week at 1-800-273-8255), or go to the emergency room, Reynolds says.

Seeing a therapist can be anxiety-inducing on its own, but it’s worth it. Here are a few ways to make it easier.

Knowing what to expect at your first therapy session may make the experience less scary. Although every professional is different, you’re likely to get a lot of questions at the first visit. Ultimately, your psychologist or therapist’s goal is to learn what troubles you’re having so that they can create a plan to help you build the skills you need to address your anxiety.

They’ll also want to figure out which kind of therapy best matches your needs. Different forms, like cognitive behavioral therapy, which aims to help people change negative thought patterns, work for different people.

Since the cost of therapy can be prohibitive, know that there are resources to help you find affordable treatment, like the National Alliance on Mental Health’s HelpLine at 1-800-950-6264. The HelpLine is available Monday through Friday, from 10 A.M. to 6 P.M., and you can explain your specific situation to the staffer or volunteer who answers. They may be able to refer you to local organizations that offer more affordable treatment. You can also try the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA) treatment locator tool, which can help you find mental health providers who take various forms of insurance, offer payment assistance, or use a sliding scale. Resources like GoodTherapy also allow you to limit search results to therapists who use sliding scales.

And don’t stress about meeting some arbitrary threshold of anxiety for your appointment to be worth the effort. “Somebody with anxiety [may] think there is a risk to seeing someone. ‘If I go and don’t have an anxiety disorder, there’s something bad about that,’” Duff says. “That’s not true. If you are suffering and seeing some of these signs, that’s enough.”

It may be that all you need is a few sessions, or you may meet weekly for months or years based on your goals. Your psychologist or therapist might decide medication would help you live your healthiest, happiest life, or just having someone to talk to might work for you. Also, if you decide you’re not really into the person you’re seeing but you still want help, there’s absolutely nothing wrong with trying someone else, Duff says.

Ask yourself what kind of life you want to live and what’s holding you back from achieving it, Reynolds says, adding, “If there’s anything related to fear and anxiety, it’s a great sign that maybe you need support around those things.”

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3 Major Ways to Tackle Stress in Your Life

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Everyone agrees: Stress is terrible. It’s the thing that keeps you awake at night and unable to enjoy your day. Sometimes stress helps us prioritize the things that need doing now, but more often than not, it’s a terrible feeling that sucks the life out of you. At its worst, stress can increase your chances of heart attack, harm your immune system, decrease sexual function, and wreck your digestive system. Stress can come from your work, your personal life, or your environment, and it can manifest in a multitude of (not great) ways.

Battling stress is a part of caring for yourself and your body.  How do you get out from under the crushing weight of stress and get your life back on track?

The Art of Self-Care

The best way to combat stress is to practice the art of self-care. Self-care can be hard for a lot of people, especially those with busy lives who are used to putting work and the needs of others ahead of their own needs. Moms are especially prone to struggling with putting themselves first. Self-care is as much a part of thriving as eating and sleeping. It’s caring for yourself mentally, replenishing that spring of mental wellness and energy so that you’re able to do the things you need to do. When you’re busy, schedule time for self-care the way you would a doctor’s appointment.

So what counts as self-care? Anything that leaves you happy, satisfied, and rejuvenated: massages, time spent with a friend or romantic partner, watching a movie you enjoy, or anything that makes you laugh. Examine the things that make you genuinely happy and fulfilled, and when you find yourself lagging, indulge.

Practice Changing the Way You Think

Getting out of a funk is hard to do. When you’re super stressed, it’s easy to fall into a black hole of negative thinking. Practice changing the way you think. If you’re plagued by negative thoughts, flip them around into something positive. It’s hard to do, especially when you feel buried by worry. The more you practice, the more you’ll lean towards positive thinking naturally. You’ll be happier in the long run.

Kick Social Media

There’s a ton of evidence that social media is bad for us. Deleting Facebook from your phone, or drastically reducing your time on Facebook, can lower your cortisol levels (that’s the hormone associated with stress). Increased cortisol can lower your immune system, encourage obesity, and impair memory. Excessive social media use has been linked with anxiety and depression. That’s a lot to put up with just to see what your cousin had for lunch.

Take a 24-hour break from all the noise and pressure from social media. If your hands are still twitching to use your phone, replace Insta with an app designed to help you reduce stress and anxiety. Some apps walk you through mindfulness or meditation. Others help you breathe, or they play soothing sounds.

Take Care of Your Body

There’s definitely a connection between mind and body — just ask anyone who has experienced being hangry. When you’re stressed, taking care of your body can absolutely help get you back to balanced. If you’re working under a deadline, you might be tempted to forgo eating healthy for something quick, like vending machine food. Sugar bursts and crashes can exacerbate stress. Take some time to eat food that will give you energy without burning out quickly, like protein.

Physical activity can help you work through feelings of stress. It’s as simple as taking a quick walk to clear your head. A walk can help you calm down, catch your breath, and head back into a stressful job or project with a much clearer head.

Sleep is a powerful tool to relax and unwind. Follow practices that lead to a good night’s rest:

  • Don’t eat before bed
  • Give yourself time to settle
  • Prime your bed for comfortable sleep
  • Keep distractions or stimulating objects (like your cell phone) far away from your bed.

Like a lot of the other suggestions in this article, they’re small changes. Those small changes can lead to a big difference in your life — one that will leave you more relaxed, fulfilled, and able to take on your goals with increased gusto.

 

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