Pandemic-Related Anxiety
Feelings of increased stress, anxiety, and depression are now a new “normal baseline” for a population finding themselves faced with fear and uncertainty.
Help! Being in Quarantine is Creating Conflict
COVID19 has changed the way we do business, how we finish out the school year, and how we engage with others. Unfortunately, changes in routines can also create conflict. The anxiety and uncertainties only compound to a sense of “new normal” many of us are figuring out as we find ourselves sharing a space, while practicing social distancing.
How to Respond to Self Harm
Have you ever looked at someone and noticed a series of scars on their wrists? Did you make a face or pass judgement about that person without knowing who they are or what they’re going through? Likely.
Of the many symptoms of mental health conditions, self-harm is one of the least understood and least sympathized. It’s also one of the few physically visible symptoms. Therefore, it’s often responded to in a way that’s derogatory and potentially harmful. For example:
“That’s just teenage angst.”
“Why would anyone do that to themselves?”
“You’re just trying to get attention.”
These reactions grossly undermine how serious self-harm is. Self-Harm is usually a sign that a person is struggling emotionally and isn’t sure how to cope. It’s a sign that a person needs support, understanding and professional help. Most importantly, it’s a sign that shouldn’t be ignored or judged.
Your Initial Response
It can be shocking to notice a person’s self-harm scars. Your instinct may be to stare or immediately express shock. But self-harm is a sensitive topic that should be approached in a certain way.
Whether you know the person or not, it is essential not to display shock or horror even if that’s how you feel. Don’t say anything that could shame them or make them feel judged or foolish. You don’t want to draw attention to their scars, especially in public.
If the person is a close friend or family member, don’t ignore what you’ve seen. Wait until you are with them in private, and then talk to them about what you noticed.
Having A Meaningful Conversation
The most important part of talking to someone about self-harm is to frame the conversation in a supportive and empathetic way. Show concern for their well-being and be persistent if they don’t open up right away. When having a conversation about self-harm, consider the following do’s and don’ts:
Do:
- Show compassion
- Respect what the person is telling you, even if you don’t understand it
- Stay emotionally neutral
- Listen, even if it makes you uncomfortable
- Encourage them to use their voice, rather than their body as a means of self-expression
- Encourage them to seek mental health care
Don’t:
- Pity them
- Joke about it
- Guilt them about how their actions affect others
- Give ultimatums
- Remind them how it looks or what people will think
- Make assumptions
Continuing Support
After that first conversation, it’s important to follow-up with your loved one to show your ongoing support. If they have not sought out care, continue to ask about it and offer to help them find a mental health professional.
You can also offer to help identify their self-harm triggers. You can do this by asking questions like: “What were you doing beforehand?” “Was there anything that upset you or stressed you out that day?” If a person is more aware of their triggers, it could help prevent future self-injury. Assisting your loved one find and practice healthier coping mechanisms is also a great way to help.
Self-harm is a serious issue that should be addressed as soon as you find out it’s happening. Keep in mind that one of the best things you can instill in a person who is self-harming is that you are there for them and that you care about them. You can always be helpful to someone even if you don’t understand what they’re going through.
Everybody Knows Somebody: Eating Disorder Awareness
Eating disorders are some of the most challenging mental illnesses and are serous, life-threatening conditions. Affecting one in 20 people during their lifetime, eating disorders frequently occur in people with other mental illnesses, including depression, anxiety disorders and substance abuse issues and as with other mental illnesses, early identification and early intervention are keys to recovery.
NAMI joins NEDA this week in support of the aim to ultimately prevent eating disorders while reducing the stigma surrounding these conditions and improving access to treatment.
NAMI recently spoke with Andrea Vazzana, Ph.D., a clinical psychologist and eating disorders specialist, to learn more about eating disorders and how to help a friend or loved one living with one of these conditions.
NAMI: What is the current prevalence of eating disorders in America?
Vazzana: Overall, over 10 percent of young women currently meet criteria of one of the eating disorders, anorexia nervosa, bulimia nervosa or eating disorder NOS (not otherwise specified). The new Diagnostic and Statistical Manual (DSM5), set to publish in May this year, includes binge eating disorder as a mental illness. Men can also live with eating disorders. While the prevalence of men to women was previously thought to be a ratio of 1-to-10, it is now believed that the ratio is closer to 1-to-6, meaning that six times more women than men have the condition. Although not as common in men, it is important to recognize that more men are now being treated for these mental illnesses.
Some believe that eating disorders are more prevalent in women because of what is called the “thin-ideal”. Biology and environment are both contributors to this condition, and researchers have found that the cultural pressure to equate thinness with beauty, as well as some sports that encourage low body fat and thinness, are factors. It is not always the ideal cultural “think” to equate thinness in men and therefore that social factor is often removed. Still, there are some sports and cultures where being thin is idealized and therefore a contributor.
What are the types of eating disorders and are there any recent changes in prevalence and conditions?
Vazzana: Eating disorders NOS, will be changing with the new DSM, to be published in May. The criteria and diagnosis will change. Binge eating will be a full-blown disorder all on its own. Binge eating disorder is similar to bulimia in that it includes the binging, but not the purging, aspect of the condition.
What are the most common co-occurring disorders (mental health conditions)?
The most common is depression and dysthymia, what some consider a less-severe but often longer lasting condition than depression. Half to three-fourths of those with eating disorders meet the criteria for depression in their lifetime, and there is a direct relationship to malnourishment and depression.
In addition to depression, the other most common co-occurring conditions are anxiety disorders, specifically social phobias and, with people living with anorexia, OCD, which impacts about 25 percent of individuals with this condition.
Substance abuse, particularly alcohol abuse, is co-occurring in about 5 percent of people living with anorexia and from 25-40 percent of people living with bulimia.
Personality disorders are also common co-occurring conditions, particularly for people living with bulimia.
What are current treatment options available and what are likely outcomes?
Recovery from eating disorders is possible. The right treatment choice depends on the type of eating disorder, but treatment approaches are often similar for the various conditions, and coordination of care between mental health care providers, nutritionists and medical professionals is important, depending on the individual’s treatment plan. Nutritional guidance, as well as individual and family counseling, is an important treatment options to consider.
The best rates of recovery for people living with bulimia involve cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) where the focus is often on normalizing weight and eating behaviors and challenging distorted thinking patterns that are usually associated with this condition. One of the goals is to interrupt the thought pattern that leads to individuals evaluating themselves in terms of shape and weight. Individual therapy is often another key to recovery.
The best rates of recovery for people living with anorexia include treatment plans that incorporate family-based therapy, often the Maudsley Method, which is often used for adolescents and children with Anorexia still living at home. This intervention involves parent coaching to encourage feeding their children to help restore their weight—eating meals with them and encouraging eating. With anorexia, it is important that the individual restore their weight as soon as possible; the longer they are in a danger zone of thinness and malnutrition, the worse the outcome. Early intervention is key; people living with anorexia (about 5 percent) have the highest probability for mortality, including death by suicide.
In addition to psychotherapies, medications, specifically, selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors, SSRIs, a type of antidepressant medication, are sometimes used in patients that are responding to CBT as an adjunct therapy.
What myths are the most common and what stereotypes exist that create barriers to understanding and treatment?
The myths surrounding eating disorders are vast and include myths primarily around race, age and social economics.
When people think of anorexia, they often mistakenly think of young, white, high social status females. This is not the case. There are 5-10 million people in America who have eating disorders, and one out of 6 are men, who more deeply experience the negative aspects of stereotypes and have unique barriers to treatment and acceptance.
We also know that eating disorders do not just affect white women. The rates are as common in young Hispanic and Native American women as they are in Caucasian women. With African American and Asian American women, however, there does seem to be a lower prevalence, with the exception of pre-adolescent African American girls. With Caucasian girls, the prevalence is lower and rates increase with puberty and continue to increase as into early adulthood.
Age is another myth; eating disorders do not just affect teens and young adults. More and more are being diagnosed for the first time in middle age. And unless effectively treated, eating disorders will last into adulthood for many.
How can someone help a friend or loved one who may have or one who is living with an eating disorder? How should they/could they intervene if needed and how can the provide support?
Regarding intervention, the key to remember is that the earlier the better. In terms of identifying a problem, it is important to know that it is common to have body dissatisfaction. Most women are more critical. However, when they go beyond dissatisfaction and they are harshly critical and disparaging of their bodies, and when there is noticeable evidence of over-thinness and over concern about food and weight, there may be a problem.
Some people mistakenly wait to intervene, thinking that the individual may grow out of their condition. The best thing to do is to let them know about your concern. You have observed behavior—talking poorly about their body, other signs—and you just want to be honest. Saying something like, “I have noticed these things and I am concerned about your health,” without being judgmental, can be the most natural first step. Because individuals living with eating disorders are generally already self-critical, it is important to so separate the illness from the individual. Try not to focus comments on appearance but rather focus comments on health by expressing concerns and the need for further medical evaluation. Recognizing that people with eating disorders often consider being thin with success, being persistent and consistent while avoiding criticism and comments on thinness, is important.
After an individual is in treatment for an eating disorder, one of the best things a family member or parent can do is to get family-based treatment or therapy. During meals, families and friends should try not to be angry even if they see their friend or loved one struggling with eating. Working to avoid impatience can be challenging, but neutral and supportive reassurance offer the best outcomes.
It is important that friends and family strive to avoid commenting on appearance. Avoid comments like, “You’re gaining some weight, that looks great!” Compliment other things, perhaps superficial aspects of clothing, conversations, other activities and contributions, but avoid mentions of size or appearance if possible.
What do you think is the most important thing for people to know about eating disorders?
The importance of intervening early! Treatment works best the earlier you can begin it. The longer the condition persists, the more deadly it becomes with more physical complications to manage.
Andrea Vazzana, Ph.D.,is a clinical assistant professor of child and adolescent psychiatry at the NYU School ofMedicine and a licensed psychologist at the Child Study Center.
In Many Minneapolis Schools, the Therapist is Just Right Down the Hall
When Cathy Moen’s son, Elijah, was in first grade, he was diagnosed with attention deficit hyperactivity disorder. She took him to the pediatrician, who put him on medication and suggested therapy.
The medication part was easy. But getting him therapy proved more difficult — not because Moen couldn’t find a therapist or didn’t have insurance, but because of logistics.
The appointments were always during the day, and between her work schedule and the traffic, it was nearly impossible for them to make it.
But she soon learned Elijah was able to see a therapist in his Bloomington school. More than 15 years ago, Minneapolis Public Schools helped pioneer a national model of bringing community mental health care directly to its students. Today, most of the public schools in Minneapolis — more than 50 of them — have a therapist on site, and many other districts, like Elijah’s, have followed suit.
These days, Elijah’s therapist simply walks down the hall and pulls him from class.
“This is like a godsend,” said Moen.
The family’s health insurance pays for the care the same way it would if the student were being seen in the clinic. The school program was designed so that no student in need will be turned away for lack of insurance.
The Minneapolis program has also provided a road map for schools across the country as more administrators realize that mental health is as important to students’ future success as academics. Studies have shown that students are more likely to show up for appointments when the therapists are on-site.
More and more states are making mental health care in schools a priority. At least two states have recently passed laws that require schools to teach mental health. And more are considering it.
But the benefit of having a therapist on-site goes beyond just getting students to see a therapist. In Minneapolis, it’s also helped make mental health a school-wide priority — and helped get counselors, teachers and others more involved, said Mark Sander, who helped start the district program.
Mark Sander is the director of school mental health at Hennepin County and Minneapolis Public Schools.
Christine T. Nguyen | MPR News
“Those teachers start learning more and more [about mental health],” said Sander, who directs school mental health for the district and the county.
He said as they learn more about mental health, teachers are feeling like, “‘OK, I get it. And now, you know, I’ve got this other student who’s not diagnosed with anxiety but has some of those anxiety features. And now I know how to better support them.”
At South High School in Minneapolis, the therapists sit in the school clinic, the same one where students go if they feel sick during the day or to get a physical so they can play sports.
The issues the students bring to the therapist run the gamut from stress about grades and colleges to anxiety related to a bad situation at home.
Farah Hussein is a therapist at South. She said it’s hard being a teenager, and she tries to help.
“There’s a lot of conversations about, ‘Who am I? Where do I fit in the world? Where do I belong?’ and just a lot of distress in exploring that,” she said.
All of this has important implications for the students’ well-being beyond just their mental health.
Collaborative mental health meetings at South include the school’s social workers, counselors, nurses, psychologists, school-based clinic therapists and occasionally administrators.
Sharon Hoover, who co-directs the National Center for School Mental Health at the University of Maryland School of Medicine, said more schools are collecting data on outcomes of in-school mental health programs, and the results are clear.
“They are more likely to have good attendance and to graduate and to get improved grades. We even have documentation of having better standardized test scores when you put universal systems in place like classroom-wide social emotional learning,” she said, all of which makes for happier, better adjusted students.
Cathy Moen, the mother whose son, Elijah, is in therapy in school, said she doesn’t know if it’s the medicine, or the therapy, or just that he’s growing up, but she — and his teachers — are already seeing a difference.
Don’t let tech safety slip
The group of parents now raising tweens is the last to grow up — basically — without the Internet.
The good news is that, having received our first email addresses on dinosaur systems as college students, we DO know how the web works.
We all have Facebook (well almost all of us), plus most of its cousins. We’re hooked on getting answers to questions instantly as well as the ease of texting versus calling or — oh, please — talking face to face.
We know, too, of the web’s dark corners — limitless pornography, angry gamers, false information, lurkers and trolls.
This puts today’s parents in a crazy sort of limbo: I get it, I use it, I’m scared to death of it when it comes to my kids.
There’s also inappropriate content, predators, cyberbullying and technology addiction. And that’s not to mention the risk of growing up without knowing how to communicate verbally and always needing to know an answer or order that product — instantly, now, yesterday, if possible.
What’s a parent to do?
While you can and should limit use of the Internet in a way that’s age-appropriate and encourages other activities — such as participating in sports, reading books and playing outside — you can’t keep your child from going online forever.
In fact, complete avoidance could do more harm than good.
“Parents shouldn’t focus on instilling fear of the Internet in the child. Instead, start a conversation about technology and the Internet in today’s world,” said Karina Hedinger, a training and education coordinator for the Minnesota Crimes Against Children Task Force, a group led by the Minnesota Bureau of Criminal Apprehension.
Much like your family rules for exploring the neighborhood, true online safety comes from preparation and communication. (Check out the AAP’s new screen-time recommendations in this article’s sidebar.)
Tips for parents
Don’t freak out. Teaching your kids to fear the Internet isn’t going to keep them safe.
Do talk. Discuss the proper use of websites and what behaviors are inappropriate. Discuss the dangers in a non-threatening way.
Ask. Get your kids talking, too, so you’re not just in boring lecture mode. What do you most like to do online? What if someone online asked you to meet?
Befriend! Sure, you can have a Facebook or Instagram account … if you make me your first friend.
Be a watchdog. “Monitor, monitor, monitor. Monitor what your children are doing on all technology. Have daily conversations about being safe and keeping information safe,” Hedinger said. Be aware that you can set up “restrictions” on various devices (under Settings) to block or allow specific websites or types of content. You can also set blanket permissions based on age ranges. Also know that the top three internet browsers — Mozilla Firefox, Google Chrome and Apple Safari — offer settings and add-ons to help make your kids’ online experience’ more age-appropriate. There are even kid-safe browsers for a variety of age ranges. (See Page 33 to learn more.)
Limit locations. Keep the family computer in a communal space in the home. Insist that all phones go to charge or “rest” in a designated location at a certain time each night (not your kid’s bedroom).
Get an all-access pass. Though most parents wouldn’t read a child’s diary (at least not without cause for concern), many parents today reserve the right to read their kids’ phones each night after they’re placed in a designated “rest” location. Why? A diary is private by nature, and one might argue that everyone is entitled to his or her own private thoughts. But when it comes to living life on Instagram — where children can easily “go public” with things that perhaps should be private — the rules are bit different. Phone reading not only keeps parents involved, but it also helps kids practice better behavior (or self-censoring) if they know Mom or Dad might take a peek.
Research and explore. The list of apps you should know (and perhaps even know how to use) is honestly too long to name and goes beyond what you might think (SnapChat, Tinder, Musical.ly, Kik and the like). Did you know there are actually apps to hide apps? Yep. And there’s also a whole language developed to keep parents clueless. Deep breath. It’s going to be OK. But do study up! Talk to other parents as often as you can (ideally with kids a bit older than yours) and make friends with commonsensemedia.org, an indispensable website and app for evaluating all media.
Think beyond your home. Which friends have smartphones? Which friends use SnapChat? Would your child’s friends be willing to create an account in your child’s name to get around your rules? What are the rules at the neighbors’ house, where your kid spends half his time?
Make your expectations clear. Setting up formal house rules can help you stand firm in your decisions around digital media. Check out the new, free Family Media Plan tool from the American Academy of Pediatrics — at healthychildren.org — for help creating written guidelines for your entire family. If your child is receiving a smartphone this year for the holidays, you might want to customize one of the many mobile phone contracts online such as those at connectsafely.org and joshshipp.com as well as Gregory’s iPhone Contract written by author Janell Burley Hofmann for her 13-year-old son. Hofmann is the author of iRules: What Every Tech-Healthy Family Needs to Know About Selfies, Sexting, Gaming and Growing Up (janellburleyhofmann.com).
Tips for teens and tweens
Be discrete. The saying goes, “If you would feel uncomfortable with something plastered on a billboard, don’t share it on the Internet.” Personal information should never be shared in public forums. Turn off location services for most apps, and set them to “On While App is Running” for things that make sense, like navigation programs.
Be private. Gaining scores of fans and followers might feel like popularity — but it’s really just broadcasting a bunch of stuff that could embarrass you someday. Would you invite your whole block over to watch you lip sync in your pajamas? If the answer is “no,” reevaluate your public social media “brand.”
Know real people. You should be friends with someone in real life before being friends online. And you should spend screen-free time with your real-life friends.
Trust your gut. If something feels scary, weird or inappropriate, it probably is. If you feel tempted to hide something on a technological device from your parents, you probably shouldn’t.
Tell. If you see something inappropriate, violent, suspicious or mean online, talk to your parents or another adult you trust.
Be skeptical. It might be normal for an adult to mentor a child or teen, but it’s never normal for an adult to seek a relationship as a peer or romantic partner with a child or teen. Also note that online, a person can say they’re anyone or anything. An adult can easily claim to be 15.
Shut it down. In cases of cyberbullying, be a heroic bystander and report bad behavior when you see it. If you’re the victim of cyberbullying, shut down your device, walk away and talk face to face with someone who cares about you.
7 Ways to Help an Angry Child
It’s tough to know how to help an angry child. But some children—despite their small size—seem to have an endless supply of anger buried inside them.
They grow frustrated easily. They yell. They might even become aggressive. But, they usually blow up over seemingly minor events.
If you’re raising a child whose angry outbursts have become a problem, it’s important to teach him the skills he needs to deal with his feelings in a healthy way. Here are seven ways to help with anger:
1. Teach Your Child About Feelings
Kids are more likely to lash out when they don’t understand their feelings or they’re not able to verbalize them. A child who can’t say, “I’m mad,” may try to show you he’s angry by lashing out. Or a child who isn’t able to explain that he’s sad may misbehave to get your attention.
Help your child learn to identify and label feelings.
Begin teaching your child basic feeling words such as mad, sad, happy, and scared. Label your child’s feelings for him by saying, “It looks like you feel really angry right now.” Over time, he’ll learn to label his emotions himself.
As your child develops a better understanding of his emotions and how to describe them, teach him more sophisticated words such as frustrated, disappointed, worried, and lonely.
2. Create an Anger Thermometer
Anger thermometers are tools that help kids recognize the warning signs that their anger is rising. Draw a large thermometer on a piece of paper. Start at the bottom with a 0 and fill in the numbers up until 10, which should land at the top of the thermometer.
Explain that zero means “no anger at all.” A 5 means “a medium amount of anger,” and 10 means “the most anger ever.”
Talk about what happens to your child’s body at each number on the thermometer. Your child might say he’s smiling when he’s at a level 0 but has a mad face when he reaches level 5 and by the time his anger gets to a level 10, he may describe himself as an angry monster.
Talk about how his body feels when he grows angry. He might feel his face get hot when he’s a level two and he might make fists with his hands when he’s a level seven.
When kids learn to recognize their warning signs, it will help them understand the need to take a break, before their anger explodes at a level 10. Hang the anger thermometer in a prominent location and refer to it by asking, “What level is your anger today?”
3. Develop a Plan to Help Your Child Calm Down
Teach children what to do when they begin to feel angry. Rather than throw blocks when they’re frustrated or hit their sister when they’re annoyed, teach them healthier strategies that help with anger.
Encourage children to put themselves in a time-out when they’re upset. Show them that they don’t need to wait until they make a mistake to go to time-out.
Instead, they can go to their room for a few minutes to calm down when they begin to feel angry.
Encourage them to color, read a book, or engage in another calming activity until they’re calm enough to resume their activity.
You might even create a calm down kit. A kit could include your child’s favorite coloring books and some crayons, a fun book to read, stickers, a favorite toy, or lotion that smells good.
When they’re upset, you can say, “Go get your calm down kit,” and encourage them to take responsibility for calming themselves down.
4. Teach Specific Anger Management Techniques
One of the best ways to help an angry child is to teach specific anger management techniques. Taking deep breaths, for example, can calm your child’s mind and his body when he’s upset. Going for a quick walk, counting to 10, or repeating a helpful phrase might also help.
Teach a variety of other skills, such as impulse control skills and self-discipline. Angry kids need a fair amount of coaching to help them practice those skills when they’re upset.
5. Make Sure Angry Outbursts Aren’t Effective
Sometimes kids exhibit angry outbursts because it’s an effective way to get their needs met. If a child throws a temper tantrum and his parents give him a toy to keep him quiet, he’ll learn that temper tantrums are effective.
Don’t give in to your child to avoid a meltdown. Although that may be easier in the short-term, in the long run giving in will only make behavior problems and aggression worse.
6. Follow Through With Consequences When Necessary
Consistent discipline is necessary to help your child learn that aggression or disrespectful behavior isn’t acceptable. If your child breaks the rules, follow through with a consequence each time.
Time-out or taking away privileges can be effective discipline strategies. If your child breaks something when he’s angry, make him help repair it or make him do chores to help raise money for repairs. Don’t allow him to have his privileges back until he’s repaired the damage.
7. Avoid Violent Media
If your child struggles with aggressive behavior, exposing him to violent TV shows or video games isn’t going to be helpful. Prevent him from witnessing violence and instead, focus on exposing him to books, games, and shows that model healthy conflict resolution skills.
How to Address Your Teen’s Issues with Poor Motivation
Getting your teen to improve his or her focus.
“If the eye is patient enough, it will get a clear view of the nose.” – Anonymous
When people think about issues related to poor concentration, they immediately think about distractions. This is even more the case when it concerns teens. Things that come to the mind of the casual observer, are smart phones, social media and troubled peers.
A quick Google search for how to improve your teen’s lack of focus, will bring up issues like attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD/ADD), depression, nutrition and strategies for developing a more efficient schedule. These topics and recommended strategies are appropriate and effective for helping your teen improve his or her issues with focus, but they cannot be effectively applied until one important issue is addressed.
Motivation.
That’s right. The primary reason young people struggle with poor focus and concentration is a general lack of motivation to do anything meaningful. The teen who lacks motivation will often gravitate towards activities which greatly stimulate neuro-chemicals associated with the brain’s reward system.
Activities such as video games, food, mind altering substances, alcohol and sex. These are things bored teens are likely to engage in habitually, in order to feel alive. This is because, in the absence of motivation to succeed, the teen is faced with a difficult reality consisting of a monotonous chore and a daily schedule. Even things like daily showers can seem time consuming and tiring to a teen who struggles with low motivation. It is also important to note that these issues are also symptoms of depression with a teen.
Before we begin processing on how to get teens more motivated, it is important to come to an understanding on what motivation is. According to Wikipedia, the term motivation is derived from motive. Motive means a need that desires satisfaction. So, for a teen to be motivated, he or she must be actively pursuing a need which desires satisfaction.
Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs Chart
Source: Saul McLeod/Simple Psychology
Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs.
Typically, we understand needs to be intrinsic materials necessary to keep us alive, such as food, water and shelter. However, an expanded discussion on the issue of needs would be based on the famous work of Abraham Maslow, regarding his hierarchy of emotional needs.
According to Dr. Maslow’s theory, there are two types of needs people strive for. They are deficiency needs and growth needs. Deficiency needs are comprised of basic needs and psychological needs. These are physiological needs, which have to do with food, water and shelter. Followed by the need for safety and security. The physiological needs and the safety needs are known as basic needs.
Next are the psychological needs, which have to do with the needs for a sense of belonging and feeling accepted. This is also followed by the need for esteem, which has to do with prestige and status in society. According to Dr. Maslow, people are only motivated to get these needs met, when these needs are deficient in their lives. Once these needs are met, people are no longer motivated in getting them met, which opens the door for addressing growth needs.
Then there are the self-fulfillment needs, which Dr. Maslow describes as self-actualization coming from having achieved one’s full potential. He also describes this as growth needs. Unlike deficiency needs, people become more motivated as their growth needs are met.
So, a teen who practices the courage to do his best in understanding calculus, becomes more motivated the more he succeeds and subsequently more focused. Further, teens who are experiencing success in achieving their potential, are also very disciplined in their home life. For example, they are disciplined in following through consistently with their assigned chores and personal hygiene.
It has been theorized that teens who struggle with depression, have experienced very little success in effectively getting their psychological needs met. This topic will be addressed in another post.
Often Motivated.
Upon examining Maslow’s hierarchy of needs, it is easy to conclude that most teens don’t have low motivation. Rather, most teens are preoccupied to getting their deficiency needs (acceptance and recognition) met, rather than their growth needs (success in academia) met.
Such a phenomenon is easy to witness with teens from low socio-economic backgrounds, such as an obsession in getting their physiological and safety needs met. However, with teens from middle class backgrounds and up, their focus is often on their psychological needs. For example, relationship with friends, close friendships and status among peers.
When teens are focused on getting their deficiency needs met, they are not going to be focused on issues regarding self-discipline and mastery. For a parent to help his or her teen become more focused on growth needs, he or she will have to teach his or her teen how to effectively get their deficiency needs met.
Conflict of Beliefs and Values.
This may be easier said than done, as today’s teenager is often exposed to new values and beliefs through social media. Meaning, that these values and beliefs are often in conflict with the teaching of the parents.
So, efforts to help the teen address his or her deficiency needs may result in a stalemate between parent and teen. Which then leads to a recurring problem with a lack of focus due to poor motivation with issues like school work, personal hygiene and chores.
The solution for a situation like this will be for parents to seek therapeutic services to assist their teen in effectively getting their deficiency needs met, in order to focus on his or her growth needs.
