Self-CARE Wheel
As we look toward 2021, many of us may take time to reflect on resolutions and intentions to carry into the upcoming new year. For those who struggle with disordered eating and poor body image, this time of year may be especially challenging due to the constant rhetoric and messages around programs designed for weight loss. If you are in recovery from an eating disorder, diet culture’s strong presence during this time may activate parts of you to feel ambivalent around your recovery goals. This is normal and this does not mean you are failing for having those thoughts. You are not alone!
Here are some New Year’s Resolutions and Intentions you can set for overall wellness that are not weight loss or appearance centric, which covers different domains of the Self-Care Wheel which can be found here.
Physical
Reclaiming your relationship to exercise by creating intentions around mindful movement, such as checking out JOYN. JOYN is a Health At Every Size (HAES) fitness streaming platform designed to engage bodies of all shapes, sizes, and abilities with a strong emphasis on joyful movement.
Psychological
Setting intentions around asking for and receiving support when needed. Therapy can be a great place to begin or continue this process as a goal for 2021. CARE has many clinicians who work with disordered eating, body image, and other mental health concerns.
Emotional
Taking time to allow yourself to experience and express your emotions. One way to begin this is practicing more self-compassion. In which ways can you show yourself grace when you are struggling? A great exercise to reflect on this is asking yourself how you would respond to a friend who is having a difficult time.
Spiritual
Spirituality can be defined as “seeking a meaningful connection with something bigger than yourself, which can result in positive emotions, such as peace, awe, contentment, gratitude, and acceptance.” Some intentions around this can include finding a spiritual community, incorporating meditation into your life, going into nature, and finding a cause you are passionate about to volunteer or advocate for.
Professional
Taking time off can be a great intention! 2020 has pushed many work/life balance boundaries, as many people transitioned into working from home. Some intentions to practice this domain of self-care could be focusing on taking breaks, including moving out of your physical work space to eat lunch.
Personal
Taking intentional time to think about the way you want to feel can help you create goals. Finding a “Word of The Year” can help you think about personal goals you want to incorporate into your life. For example, if your word of the year is “Connectedness” you may think of intentions around reaching out to loved ones or those you would like to re-connect with. Or if your word of the year is “Adventurous”, you might discover a new hobby or plan a trip that makes you feel this way.
There are many different ways to be intentional about creating a better YOU in 2021, regardless of what your eating disorder voice or diet culture may have you believe about New Year’s Resolutions. Continue to take time to reflect on the different domains of self-care and ways in which these intentions can align with your recovery goals for overall wellness. You deserve it!
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Stress + Staying at Home: The Rise of Intimate Partner Violence
Violence within intimate relationships is on the rise. Increased stress + staying at home + social isolation has help create a “perfect storm” for violence within the home. Being familiar with the types of abuse that can occur within relationships is an important step to recognize “red flags” to help yourself and/ or others who are experiencing or have experienced abuse during quarantine.
Relationship to the abuser does not require sexual intimacy and includes harm through forms of abuse that attempt to gain control by a current or former partner/ spouse. Intimate partner violence is considered a more inclusive term than domestic violence due to violence that can occur among heterosexual or same-sex couples. This can include physical violence, sexual violence, stalking, psychological harm through emotional or verbal abuse, financial abuse, and digital abuse.
According to the CDC, about 1 in 4 women and nearly 1 in 10 men have experienced sexual violence, physical violence, and/or stalking by an intimate partner during their lifetime.
Here is a brief definition of each form of abuse along with several “red flags” for abusive relationships.
- Physical Violence: when a person hurts or tries to hurt a partner by using physical force
- Red Flags: behaviors such as hitting, punching, kicking, slapping, shoving, or choking; use or threat of use of a weapon such as a knife, gun, or other object to inflict bodily harm
- Sexual Violence: when a person forces or attempts to force a partner to take part in a sex act, sexual touching, or a non-physical sexual event when the partner does not or cannot consent
- Red Flags: violation of one’s sexual boundaries; pressure, or coercion to engage in sexual activity; pressure to use drugs/ alcohol before engaging in sexual acts; attempts to control through preventing use of birth control or pressure into unwanted pregnancy
- Stalking: when someone repeatedly watches, follows, or harasses you, making you feel afraid or unsafe
- Red Flags: stalking one’s home or workplace, constant monitoring by the abuser or associate of the abuser which may include behavior to intimidate and harass one’s children
- Emotional and Verbal Abuse: use of verbal and non-verbal communication with the intent to harm another person mentally or emotionally and/or to exert control over another person
- Red Flags: threats (including threats using one’s pets, family, or children); excessive texting, constant monitoring or “checking in”, intimidation, insults, isolation, “gas-lighting”, placing blame on the victim for the abuse
- Financial Abuse- controlling a partner’s economic resources
- Red Flags: taking away money, refusal or limiting access to financial resources; insisting on shared financial resources then monitoring or limiting all access; creating dependence through preventing work or educational opportunities
- Digital Abuse- use of technology to bully, harass or intimidate
- Red Flags: Stalking through social media platforms, constant monitoring such as checking emails, listening in and answering private phone calls; attempts to embarrass, frighten, or humiliate on social media; threats of self-harm or suicide due to ended relationship, sending unwanted emails or messages
Red-flags-of-abuse can begin as subtle. A new relationship may move very quickly and feel good “too good to be true” at the start. The partner may be generous with flattery and attention. Subtle gestures to limit social interactions and activities may begin as well as psychological manipulation within the cycle of abuse.
Control. Jealousy. Anger.
Break-up. Make-up. Empty Promises.
Access to resources and supports may become limited. You may find yourself feeling afraid and anxious when around your partner or when they call. You may find yourself justifying physical signs of abuse, perhaps hiding bruising.
Individuals in abusive relationships may begin to blame themselves. They may feel scared or ashamed to get help.
Abuse is not your fault! Know where go for help. Here are some great resources that are available 24/7.
The National Domestic Violence Hotline
https://www.thehotline.org/
1-800-799-7233
The National Sexual Assault Hotline: Include resources for sexual assault, harassment, dating/ domestic violence, and other victims of crime
https://www.rainn.org/resources
1-800-656-4673
Anti-Violence Project: Includes resources for LGBTQIA+ and HIV positive survivors
https://avp.org/
Crisis Text Line: Text HOME to 741741
https://www.crisistextline.org/
Written By: Charlotte Johnson, MA, LPCC
We’re Here to help
Our wellness experts will be happy to take care of you. You can CLICK HERE to schedule an appointment now or call (612)223-8898.
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The professionals at CARE are actively collecting and creating resources to help with what you need. We’re Here for You.
Not Feeling Accepted During Holiday Gatherings: LGBTQIA+
The holidays can be a tough time of year, especially for the lesbian, gay, bisexual, pansexual, transgender, genderqueer, queer, intersexed, agender, asexual, and ally community who experience homophobia during holiday gatherings. We all need to feel physically and emotionally safe, to feel connected within relationship. If these elements are not present or lacking in family gatherings, individuals within the LGBTQIA+ community can feel especially vulnerable to rejection which can exacerbate underlying mental health symptoms such as depression and anxiety.
It can be difficult to navigate the complexities of disclosing your true identity to family who may be less than supportive. Not feeling fully seen or accepted by not having your identity acknowledged or affirmed makes it difficult to feel loved. The decision of how and when to come out is a personal decision that often involves time and space to prep the conversation, process information, and educate.
Remember that you don’t have to give explanations for who you are. If you have any concerns about spending time with family this holiday season, you may need some additional support from friends, allies, or a helping professional. Afterall, the holidays are meant to be a celebration!
If you find yourself experiencing distress and not feeling accepted during holiday gathering, it can be helpful to shift the focus on self-care. Taking care of yourself sounds simple enough, such as getting adequate rest, eating healthy, and exercising regularly although often suffers during times of increased stress. In addition, to self-care, here are some additional tips to remember that all focus on SELF!
Self-assert
• Set boundaries for yourself. It is OK to say no, especially if a particular situation feels emotionally unsafe.
• Know what you want to be able to communicate and use opportunities to practice.
Self-advocate
• Learn to be comfortable with advocating; self-advocacy skills can help prioritize your needs and recognize their value.
• You get to choose what you need and how you respond during holiday gathering. For example, do you change the subject, challenge a different perspective, educate, or remove yourself from the situation?
Self-acceptance
• Embrace all parts of yourself—the imperfections and all; then offer yourself kindness.
• This area can be difficult to practice, especially considering frequent microaggressions that occur within the LGBTQ community.
Self-love
• Take time to love yourself without compromising your own needs/ values.
• If family cannot or will not accept you, find a safe space to feel supported. There are many great community resources that can help create a new sense of “family”.
Self-soothe
• Try sensory-soothing activities such as petting a cat or dog, listening to music, or taking a warm bath when feeling overwhelmed.
• Activities such as writing or reaching out to a friend ca also help soothe when feeling emotional.
Self-affirm
• It is OK to be LGBTQIA+! I love the rainbow as a beautiful visual with different colors represented together.
• Try positive self-talk using affirmations to overcome internalization of negative emotions.
• Seek a therapist who practices affirmative therapy to validate and advocate for the LGBTQIA+ community. CARE Counseling has many great options.
I wish you all the best during this holiday season and hope that you feel accepted—a true sense of belonging this year.
I will leave you with a quote by Brene Brown on True Belonging:
“True belonging is the spiritual practice of believing in and belonging to yourself so deeply that you can share your most authentic self with the world and find sacredness in both being a part of something and standing alone in the wilderness. True belonging doesn’t require you to change who you are; it requires you to be who you are.”
Written By: Charlotte Johnson, MA, LPCC
We’re Here to help
Our wellness experts will be happy to take care of you. You can CLICK HERE to schedule an appointment now or call (612)223-8898.
Meet Clinicians
We’re united by our commitment to providing effective, relevant, and innovative mental health support at all stages of your journey. Click Here to find out more about who we are, where we come from, and how we live out CARE’s mission every day.
The professionals at CARE are actively collecting and creating resources to help with what you need. We’re Here for You.
Silent Night: The Importance of Rest
For a moment, I want to take you back to the start of the First World War, during the Christmas Truce of 1914 along the Western front when German and British soldiers fighting in the trenches declared their own official truce. For a moment, enemies came together for a moment to share in the Christmas spirit. Gunfire fell silent. The tune to the popular Christmas carol “Silent Night” could be heard from a distance on the battlefield, known in German words as “Stille Nacht” during the Christmas truce over 100-years-ago. It was a beautiful moment of peace during a time that was known as one of the bloodiest wars in history.
This past year, yearning, despair, and hope have been present. In Minneapolis (and beyond), we have heard sounds of war and have sought refuge. We have longed for a moment of silence amidst chaos. Emotional fatigue was a common experience, largely impacted by the emotional toll of stressors and state of uncertainty and unrest, impacting our mind and body’s ability to rest.
I have never fought in the military, but my good friend who has recalled the heightened state of alert and sleepless nights before the Minnesota National Guard was came to intervene. They felt as though they were living in the middle of a war zone, especially after the entire National Guard was mobilized. On May 28, 2020 a State of Emergency was declared in Minnesota, a time when mental health distress was also taking its toll.
Did you know that this was Minnesota’s largest deployment since World War II? My friend was able to effectively cope after getting adequate rest and taking care of themselves. Relief brought a sense of calm. For trauma treatment and many other mental health diagnoses such as anxiety and depression, sleep is impacted.
Since there are so many areas that impact sleep, it is important to get enough hours of rest. According to the CDC, this varies from a minimum of 7 hours for adults and up to 17 hours for newborn. It is important to develop sleep hygiene to promote adequate rest
The Sleep Foundation lists common causes for insomnia in addition to stress and mental health. This includes an irregular sleep schedule or poor sleeping habits, physical illnesses and pain, medications, neurological problems, and specific sleep disorders.
Sleep has great restorative benefits for keeping one’s mind and body at optimal functioning.
Check out these awesome health benefits from medicalnewstoday that are associated with a good night’s rest:
- Better Productivity and Concentration
- Lower Weight Gain Risk and Better Calorie Regulation
- Greater Athletic Performance
- Lower Risk of Heart Disease
- More Social and Emotional Intelligence
- Preventing Depression
- Lower Inflammation and Stronger Immune System
If you are interested in having a safe space to process sources of stress, trauma, or discuss a specific mental health concern that is impacting rest, CARE Counseling is here to help!
Written By: Charlotte Johnson, MA, LPCC
We’re Here to help
Our wellness experts will be happy to take care of you. You can CLICK HERE to schedule an appointment now or call (612)223-8898.
Meet Clinicians
We’re united by our commitment to providing effective, relevant, and innovative mental health support at all stages of your journey. Click Here to find out more about who we are, where we come from, and how we live out CARE’s mission every day.
The professionals at CARE are actively collecting and creating resources to help with what you need. We’re Here for You.
The Pressure to Not Be Yourself (Conforming to Others Holiday Expectations)
Feeling the pressure to fit in with what one’s friends or family are doing this holiday season can be stressful! After all, it seems easier to “give in” [and conform] than to “rock the boat” and go against others’ expectations.
What may have started out as tradition may begin to feel like an overwhelming obligation. It might begin to feel as though others have control of your schedule and choices. I “have” to visit this person, then I “have” to visit that person. I “have” to make this, then I “have” to make that. I have to buy…I have to go…I have to do… !!
It can become a never-ending, overwhelming list of have-to and should- dos. Combined with the pressures of conformity, it can start to feel like too much.
Giving into social and family pressure may feel easier rather than having to deal with the guilt of saying no. Perhaps there is fear– the fear to speak up, the fear of disappointment. Speaking up and setting boundaries can be difficult, especially if one struggles with self-esteem, communication, and/ or asserting needs.
A big part of conformity that can make it difficult are the dynamics within the group such as greater perceived influence (e.g. grandparent, parents), close-knit relationships, and cultural expectations. It can be even more difficult for young adults to go against the norm when it comes to holiday expectations for this reason.
To go against the norm, to challenge assumptions, and to perhaps create a new tradition may seem like a daunting task. While this may create discomfort and possibly evoke a strong emotional reaction from friends/ family, would you be willing to take the risk if the end result would be feeling like one’s authentic self, living in alignment with one’s personal values, and feeling the freedom to be yourself?
Here are some Guidelines that Can Make it Feel Easier to Be Yourself (and Not Conform to the Pressure of Others):
Know Yourself
Know what is important to you. What are your values? How do you want to live your life? What really matters? Take some time to reflect on this.
Be Realistic When it Comes to Expectations
It is not possible to make everyone happy all the time, nor is it realistic to be in multiple places at the same time. Embracing imperfection can be helpful in coping with a less than ideal situation. This may involve changing your standards. Flexibility, open-mindness, and a positive mindset can help set up an environment for a good time, even with change to the circumstances.
Communicate Early and Effectively
Take a proactive approach when it comes to communicating to friends/ family about plans, expectations, and/ or a change in the ways things may have been traditionally done. This creates space for others to process whatever emotional responses may come and also gives time to re-adjust expectations.
There are some great communication strategies, including specific skills based dialectical behavioral therapy (DBT) that can be especially helpful for those who may struggle with effective communication within interpersonal relationships. These skills can also be helpful in creating emotional boundaries and are a common area that clients may want to work on in therapy.
Don’t Take On Responsibility for Others Emotions
Remember that you are not responsible for other peoples’ happiness. It is natural to feel anger, disappointment, etc. when expectations are not met. It is OK to let go of guilt that you are letting someone down. Focusing on managing one’s own behaviors and emotional responses than taking this on for others is a great area to focus on.
Offer Alternatives
Try reframing conforming to expectations as an opportunity to create a meaningful alternative that allows the expression of yourself. I always wondered the rationale behind cramming so many visits and activities within several days. Proposing alternatives such as planned meaningful activities throughout the year can be a great compromise in meeting others needs (e.g. for connection) while also being true to yourself.
Written By: Charlotte Johnson, MA, LPCC
We’re Here to help
Our wellness experts will be happy to take care of you. You can CLICK HERE to schedule an appointment now or call (612)223-8898.
Meet Clinicians
We’re united by our commitment to providing effective, relevant, and innovative mental health support at all stages of your journey. Click Here to find out more about who we are, where we come from, and how we live out CARE’s mission every day.
The professionals at CARE are actively collecting and creating resources to help with what you need. We’re Here for You.
Named the Face of Counseling by MPLS | St. Paul Magazine
CARE Counseling was honored with the recognition of being named the FACE of Counseling by the MPLS | St. Paul Magazine
Our tagline, “Adulting is Hard,” is abundantly true in 2020. This year has been stressful with the pandemic, racial injustice, and working and schooling from home. The CARE Counseling team is supporting the mental health of our community through these tough times.
Counseling provides a space to explore how you’re feeling, find peace with past experiences, and move forward with confidence. The counseling experience is a deeply personal time to navigate how you want to live an authentic life that’s driven by your values.
This process can make life feel a little less stressful and a bit more hopeful. The value of having time each week to have a professional bear witness to your story is exactly what we all need after this year. CARE Counseling appointments are being held from the comfort of your home via telehealth. If you are struggling, you’re not alone ~ CARE Counseling can help.
Click Here to see all the FACES OF MINNEAPOLIS | ST. PAUL 2020
Remember the Date and Celebrate
How often do you find yourself forgetting an important date? Perhaps a birthday, anniversary, important milestone, job interview, or medical appointment?
Within relationships, acknowledging important dates in loved one’s lives has special significance. It shows that you are thinking about them and that you care.
Celebrating special dates with a loved one can be a truly meaningful experience. It can help the other person feel loved and appreciated.
One barrier that can make it difficult to remember important dates is a lack of an organizational system. While keeping track of data in your head is an option, I find that it is easy to miss something. Plus having too much information circulating among other various bits of information that I need to remember can feel overwhelming.
While there are many great organizational tools that can be used to remember important events here is a list of ones to try. To increase the success of these tools, it is recommended that you keep an updated record of important dates. If needed, enlist the help of family and friends! Writing down new information immediately within your chosen format helps keep information up-to-date.
Choose which tools work with your lifestyle. Here are a few ideas to get you started:
- Calendars: Try Google calendars, a family calendar, or wall calendars for a visual tool
- Phone Contacts: Add notes of important dates such as birthdays and anniversaries to your phone contacts
- Planners: Daily planners can be a great tool to keep everything organized in one place
- Social Media Sites with reminder features (e.g. Facebook)
- Phone Apps: There are tons of apps, many which are free that can be helpful with reminders such as birthdays
- Alarm Features: Alarms are great to combine with visual tools such as calendars, with reminders leading up to and on the day of the event
While some people anticipate important dates with excitement, others may experience a sense of dread, anxiety, or depression. Medical appointments can bring the fear of unknowns. Job interviews can be anxiety-provoking and may bring disappointment. Important dates can bring up triggers. Even dates that “should” feel happy such as important achievements or birthdays may be experienced with depression or discomfort when you are in the “spotlight”.
If you find yourself experiencing any of the following symptoms prior to important dates, I encourage you to reach out to a therapist.
- Feelings of sadness that continue to persist
- Lacking excitement of sense of pleasure in celebrating important dates
- Desire to avoid contact with people, including family and friends
- Experiencing anxious distress leading up to important dates
- Loss of appetite
- Difficulties sleeping
- Feeling tired and fatigued as a special day approaches
- Excessive feelings of guilt or worthlessness
- Difficulties concentrating or ruminating thoughts
- Possible thoughts of self-harm or suicide as the day approaches
- A final thought to keep in mind is to consider how you or others enjoy celebrating (or not celebrating) their special dates, while managing expectations. What would be meaningful?
- Perhaps a special message of appreciation, a thoughtful gift, spending some quality time doing something fun, or doing something nice for someone? Maybe keeping things simple if a more formal celebration creates discomfort? For the recipient, keeping a positive mindset, being able to reflect, and take some time for self-love is so important.
I encourage you to schedule in time for yourself this year. After all, what better time to celebrate you, than on your special day!
Why not do something special for yourself? You deserve to make your mental health a priority.
Written by: Charlotte Johnson, MA, LPCC
We’re Here to help
Our wellness experts will be happy to take care of you. You can CLICK HERE to schedule an appointment now or call (612)223-8898.
Meet Clinicians
We’re united by our commitment to providing effective, relevant, and innovative mental health support at all stages of your journey. Click Here to find out more about who we are, where we come from, and how we live out CARE’s mission every day.
The professionals at CARE are actively collecting and creating resources to help with what you need. We’re Here for You.
Rituals and Traditions in Celebration
December is a month of celebration. It is also a month full of rituals and traditions.
Rituals differ from traditions in that rituals involve a series of actions that are repeated. A tradition is similar in that beliefs or behaviors are passed down, with cultural significance tied to the past; however, they do not need to be performed in a prescribed order.
A common tradition is decorating for the holidays. Homes are being decorated; some items are visible for all to see and other elements may be more private. Special items, such as candles may have symbolic meaning rooted within cultural or religious traditions and be incorporated into rituals. Jewish friends may have a menorah with candles during Hanukkah while Christian friends may have an Advent Wreath with advent candles. In both traditions, the lighting of candles taking place in a prescribed order. Another example of a ritual that has become a popular tradition with candles involves lighting and blowing out candles on birthday cakes.
Both rituals and traditions have an important place in families and society. They are an important part of identity, celebrate the unique cultural heritages within families, and build community.
Traditions may involve items that are fun and purely whimsical, changing through the seasons. You may find yourself surrounded by favorite colors, scents, and textures. Who do you know who gets excited to take out their seasonal items? Ugly sweaters or matching pajamas anyone? You may switch out decor, use scented candles/ lotions, buy flavored beverages, and make food or baked goods based on the season. Goodbye Pumpkin Latte and hello Peppermint Mocha! Celebrations based in traditions such as sharing food/ sweet treats, exchanging gifts, and special [virtual or outdoor] events are taking place. There is so much great expression in celebration, not only in the United States but also worldwide. Traditions can be acquired over time, and passed on through the generations within celebrations.
Did you know that while rituals are an important component in celebrations, they can also cause clinically significant distress? There is actually a special category of obsessive thoughts, a form of Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) that involves religious or moral obsessions known as Scrupulosity. In OCD, individuals experience intrusive recurring, unwanted thoughts that cause distress. The thoughts or distressing sensations compel one to engage in repetitive behavior, known as compulsions to help alleviate the distress. With Scrupulosity OCD, there are obsessive concerns that something that one is thinking or did is a major violation of religious or moral doctrine. There may be specific fears directly tied to one’s religious faith (e.g. committing a sin or other religious violation); however, one does not need to align with religious beliefs to struggle in this area since Scrupulosity also covers moral doctrine (e.g. being a “good” person, worries of telling a lie).
A helpful guide if there are concerns of rituals that may be OCD-related is to compare rituals to the norm of the culture. If a standard practice is to recite, chant, or pray x number of times per day, but you find yourself consumed with distress, repetitively engaging in behavioral or mental rituals beyond cultural norms until a certain state of certainty is achieved, this would likely be considered outside the norm. Also, if there is fear that if you do not engage in the ritual, you will violate norms or you excessively seek reassurance to relieve anxiety distress around concern of breaking religious doctrine of moral code, you may have OCD. The great news is that there are evidence-based treatments, with Exposure and Response (Ritual) Prevention for Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder recommended as a treatment approach.
To learn more about OCD and treatment approaches or to find a clinician who works with OCD, here are some resources to get started:
https://iocdf.org/about-ocd/ocd-treatment/erp/
https://rogersbh.org/resources/exposure-and-response-prevention-erp-how-does-it-work
https://care-clinics.com/new-client-experience/clinicians/
Written by: Charlotte Johnson, MA, LPCC
We’re Here to help
Our wellness experts will be happy to take care of you. You can CLICK HERE to schedule an appointment now or call (612)223-8898.
Meet Clinicians
We’re united by our commitment to providing effective, relevant, and innovative mental health support at all stages of your journey. Click Here to find out more about who we are, where we come from, and how we live out CARE’s mission every day.
The professionals at CARE are actively collecting and creating resources to help with what you need. We’re Here for You.
Thankfulness / Gratitude
The Oxford Dictionary defines the word grateful as “showing an appreciation of kindness.” Being grateful is an action whereas being thankful is a feeling. While the holidays have looked different this year, especially compared to past years, I reflect on thankfulness and choose to practice gratitude.
The holidays typically bring up an array of emotions, some of which can feel uncomfortable and even painful. Whatever emotions you are experiencing this season, they are OK. Acknowledge them. Sit with them. Process your emotions. Utilize your coping strategies and try practicing gratitude. Research indicates that people who engage in gratitude practices (even during the COVID-19 pandemic) have higher well-being and vitality than those who do not.
At CARE Counseling, I feel thankful for finding balance. The Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration offers a great tool that identifies eight domains of wellness for optimal health. https://store.samhsa.gov Domain areas include the following– occupational, emotional, spiritual, environmental, financial, physical, social, and intellectual. I feel thankful for the personal satisfaction and sense of enrichment that I receive at CARE, from the warm, pleasing work environment, sense of community, to the flexibility, benefits, and professional development opportunities. Being surrounded by an awesome team of co-workers, where everyone is recognized for their unique talents and strengths is incredible!
It feels good to be recognized for one’s unique talents and to be appreciated as a person, outside of personal accomplishments. Oftentimes we take so many things for granted–the things and people we are grateful for, qualities within ourselves that are admirable.
Recently we had the opportunity to take the Clifton Strengths. One statistic that I really appreciated hearing was knowing that there is a 1 in 33 million chance of someone having the same five strengths within the same order! We all are wired differently. It is incredible to reflect that each one of us has a unique set of strengths that we bring to the team. It is a beautiful thing to be able to cultivate areas of strengths. I personally find this more empowering than focusing on areas of deficit.
Here are two questions to reflect on not only this holiday season, but throughout the year.
1. What or Who do You Feel Thankful for?
2. What are Ways I Can Express Gratitude?
I really enjoy all the fun expressions of gratitude that take place at CARE Counseling, especially now during a time of increased social isolation. The fact that the leadership team at CARE recognizes the importance of gratitude has a positive effect on productivity and resilience. “when gratitude becomes a regular organizational practice, employees will feel both appreciated and valued” year-round.
This past week, I came across a beautifully decorated “Gratitude Box” which had the following message inside–
“This Gratitude Box will change your life! Write down something every day that you are grateful for…including little things that are taken for granted. Being grateful for the good things in life makes us kinder…happier…and makes us whole. All we need to do is to remember how blessed we are.”
I encourage you to take your feelings of thankfulness and express gratitude as part of a daily lifestyle. Reflect on gratitude when you wake up and before you go to sleep. Notice and express gratitude individually and with loved ones. Check out the following website for an awesome and comprehensive list to try! https://daringtolivefully.com/gratitude-exercises
Written by: Charlotte Johnson, MA, LPCC
We’re Here to help
Our wellness experts will be happy to take care of you. You can CLICK HERE to schedule an appointment now or call (612)223-8898.
Meet Clinicians
We’re united by our commitment to providing effective, relevant, and innovative mental health support at all stages of your journey. Click Here to find out more about who we are, where we come from, and how we live out CARE’s mission every day.
The professionals at CARE are actively collecting and creating resources to help with what you need. We’re Here for You.
Communicating– Family Health Histories
Let’s Talk about Family Health History
How often does the topic of family mental health history come up while sitting around the dinner table? I am guessing not very often! What about your family’s medical history? This topic may feel a bit more comfortable but also tends to not be discussed.
Did you know that Thanksgiving was also National Family History Day? This is a designated day sponsored by the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services where the Surgeon General encourages families to talk about and take a record of their family-health-history.
Many years ago at a family gathering, I was catching up with relatives shortly after an emergency hospitalization and surgery for appendicitis. I thought it was a big deal at the time, since I never had a major surgery, nor was familiar with any family history of appendicitis. After starting the conversation, I was surprised when several family members casually started talking about similar experiences around the same age! I had no idea others in the family shared the same medical issue, nor had any information such as statistics to normalize how common the procedure was. While the family medical health information was helpful after the fact, it would have been even more helpful to know beforehand. I was not aware what symptoms to look out for and no knowledge at the time on preventative care or treatment options. Family health histories topics generally do not seem to be discussed within many families until after someone is in the hospital or goes to treatment.
I reflect on how often in routine intake sessions one is asked about their family medical and mental health history. While one may be familiar with the health history of family members closest to them, how accurate is the self-report? My Family Health Portrait is a great tool to collect information about your family’s health history. It is a free online tool that can be shared with other family members and also your doctor.
Knowledge is important when it comes to your family’s medical history. Since knowing is not enough, it is important to get early screening and take preventative measures to reduce your risk.
1. Know Your Family’s Health History
This includes medical health, mental health, and chemical health histories. Do you know if there is a family history of things such as diabetes, cancer, high blood pressure, heart disease, or obesity? Is there a history of a specific medical condition such as breast cancer with a first degree relative such as your mother or sister? How about histories among second-degree relatives (e.g. aunts, uncles, grandparents, cousins?) What about early onset to a specific medical or mental health diagnosis? Ask about areas such as ADHD, autism, eating disorders, substance use, depression, anxiety, panic, OCD, bipolar, and schizophrenia.
2. Act on What You Know
The chances of you developing a similar condition increases so it is important to be aware of early risk factors and act on the information that you know through preventative care and early intervention. Lifestyle changes and early screening can be great places to start. Scheduling routine medical visits and seeking out supports such as counseling at the first signs of concern makes a big difference. You are in the driver’s seat of your health–Don’t ignore that “check engine” signal!
But How Do I Talk to My Family About Their Medical, Mental, and/ or Chemical Health History?
Take the First Step to Start a Conversation About Your Family Health History. While it may be difficult to start a conversation or feel uncomfortable, taking the first step to start an open dialogue is important. The information that you are asking can benefit both you and your close relatives.
Begin to Open up About Your Mental Health and/ or Substance Misuse with Supportive Family. Sharing your struggles with mental health or substance misuse can help normalize the struggles we share and allow opportunities for families to provide support. Family members may not be aware of your experience, nor know how to help. Self-disclosure with a trusted family support can be a great source of encouragement and an ally in the time of crisis. While you may experience fear of judgment with self-disclosures, finding a safe and trusted person is a great place to start practicing vulnerability.
1. Seek Out a Good Opportunity When Disclosing-to-Others.
This includes when you are feeling well overall, when the disclosure serves a purpose (such as to share and gather family health histories), and when the timing feels right to you. It can be difficult to open up about sensitive topics, especially when there are “family secrets” such as family members being committed to a mental/ medical institution or “taboo” subjects such as family histories of abuse or addictions.
2. Ask Questions and Keep a Record.
Ask biological parents and first-degree relatives about which medical conditions (or symptoms) they have experienced, when first diagnosed, and at what age. Do the same for mental health and substance use. Ask about ancestry. Pay special attention to chronic medical diseases or conditions such as heart disease, cancers, diabetes, high blood pressure, and high cholesterol. Asking the ages and causes of death can be an important source of information. Being aware of patterns of early death and factors involved such as completed suicide or drug overdose can make a difference in awareness and treatment.
3. Notice Cues That Others May Not be Ready to Have a Conversation.
Some family members may take time to develop a level of comfort to talk about family health histories. They may struggle with how to respond, or may not know how to respond. That is OK. It is important to respect their boundaries. Providing information on reputable medical, mental health, and substance resources such as the following can be a helpful way to learn more and can be shared with family as a way to start communication.
https://www.webmd.com/
https://www.mayoclinic.org/
https://www.nami.org/About-Mental-Illness
https://www.samhsa.gov/
Written by: Charlotte Johnson, MA, LPCC
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