Tag Archive for: anxious worklife

Must I Tell My Boss I’m Absent Because of Mental Illness?

I am in treatment (weekly therapy and a drug regimen) for clinical depression and a panic disorder. They are, for the most part, very well managed. However, even the most well managed mental illness has flare-ups, during which I find it difficult to get out of bed, am plagued with suicidal thoughts or am so panicked that I need to take medication to calm my heart rate. When these symptoms are occurring, the idea of being able to work is laughable.

These symptoms are not readily understood by my high-powered industry colleagues and bosses. There is a general feeling that “we all get anxious and sad; we buck up and push through.” Personal days and sick days are discouraged, and there are few light days. Moreover, although my co-workers are vaguely aware that I have a condition that requires weekly therapy, the existence of flare-ups like this carries, I feel, a heavy stigma that I am not “up to” our fast-paced job. This is not the case; I am an extremely productive and dedicated worker, and I love my job. These flare-ups happen less than once a month, and I am fastidious about ensuring that my work is covered appropriately when I am out.

My work is in law, with regular can’t-miss meetings with clients, such that a “taking a sick day” message to a boss will generally be met with: “Can you come in for this meeting/court date or call in to this or that?”; “Have you tried DayQuil?” etc. On days when I am so preoccupied with my depression symptoms that I cannot go in, I cannot meaningfully participate in “just one thing”; indeed, trying to do so often makes it more difficult for me to recover. I have found that the easiest way to avoid these requests is to lie and explain that I am ill with a particularly nasty symptom, such as a high fever, strep throat or food poisoning. This normally halts questioning, as those conditions are deemed “serious enough” to warrant a day off. Given the stigma associated with mental health issues, is it ethical for me to lie about the specifics of my symptoms to my boss, or is this similar to calling in a “sick day” when in fact you’re taking a personal day, an act I would consider unethical? 

Let’s assume that, over all, your firm has reason to agree that you are, as you say, “an extremely productive and dedicated worker.” Your inclination to be more open about your illness is a good one: When more people like you choose to be open about their struggles, understanding will increase, and the stigma you mention will be reduced. And that’s likely to help people in your situation work productively.

The decision you make will depend on how supportive you think your boss will be, what the culture of your workplace is and how much your contributions are valued. You’ll also want to explain the reality of the disorder — that it’s not a matter of “bucking up and pushing through.” Your employers can accommodate your needs only if you inform them properly of your disability. This would both make your life easier and allow them to plan better; one of the many bad consequences of prejudice is that these win-win outcomes aren’t achieved.

But suppose you decide that your firm would penalize you for being honest and that you can get away with inventing physical illnesses to cover your needs. Would the fact that your employers would respond badly to your being honest justify your continued lying? It would: In general, it’s permissible to mislead people who will do you serious and unwarranted wrong if you tell the truth.

Because you work in the law, you’ll know that the Americans With Disabilities Act requires employers (with 15 or more workers) to make “reasonable accommodations” for conditions that are legally considered disabilities. So if candor proved damaging to your conditions of employment, you might have a remedy. Whether an illness, like depression, is disabling depends, according to the law, on whether it “substantially limits one or more major life activities.” Of course, the law says, as you’d expect, that work is a major life activity. And it was amended in 2008 to define disabilities in a way that explicitly includes conditions like yours that are only episodically disabling, so your clinical depression should meet the test. But in the end, it would be for lawyers to advise you on that question.

A final paradox: If you do go on lying to your employers, they will be justified in penalizing you if they find out. They’re unlikely to be impressed by the argument that you were convinced that they would have behaved badly if you had told them. So I would urge you to consider the harder path of telling the truth. After all, if you’re a terrific worker, they ought to know you’re worth a good deal to them.

Kwame Anthony Appiah teaches philosophy at N.Y.U. He is the author of “Cosmopolitanism” and “The Honor Code: How Moral Revolutions Happen.

What To Do If Your Workplace Is Anxiety-Inducing

There are so many aspects a job that can cause anxiety: having tight deadlines, trying to harmonize a work/life balance, dealing with office gossip and politics, meeting your supervisor’s expectations… the list goes on.

Thanks to all this, most people who work will experience some anxiety at some point. But what do you do if your workplace makes you feel that way on a regular basis? When you dread stepping foot into the office day after day. When something about your job makes anxiety your norm. When you have an anxiety disorder and work constantly triggers your symptoms.

Depending on your situation, it might be helpful to evaluate whether your job is right for you. But if you aren’t able or don’t want to change jobs, there are ways to manage workplace anxiety.

Practice Self-Awareness

Before you can improve your situation, it’s important to understand what exactly is creating your anxious feelings or worsening the symptoms of your condition. Even if the root of your anxiety is something you can’t change, like having more work than you can handle, knowing the cause can help you figure out next steps. It’s a lot harder to reach a destination without a map.

Share Your Feelings

It may be helpful to talk to a trusted coworker as they can relate to and sympathize with your anxiety. If you don’t have a coworker you trust, you can talk to a friend, family member or mental health professional. Talking about anxiety with the right person can help you process these intense emotions and it can be validating if the person is supportive and understanding. They might also have ideas or suggestions to help you cope.

Release Your Thoughts

Anxiety feeds off itself and one anxious thought can turn into 100 pretty quickly. There’s no way I will meet this deadline. What if something else comes up? What if Steve thinks the project is terrible? If you’re feeling inundated with this kind of thought-spiral, it can be helpful to release your thoughts.

One of the most effective ways to do this is by writing them all down. Do a brain dump of all your anxious thoughts—not to understand them, but just to get them “out.” If you’re at home (or somewhere you feel comfortable) thinking about work drama, you can also sing your thoughts. The idea of these practices is that you can’t write or sing as fast as you can think, so you’ll actually be slowing down while you release your unhelpful thought patterns.

Know When To Ask For Help

If you’re drowning in work, having a hard day or feeling like you can’t meet your supervisor’s expectations, ask your colleagues for help. While it may feel like everyone handles their own work and stress independently, and you should too, this is often not beneficial to anyone. Asking for help when you need it alleviates your burden and builds trust among coworkers. If you feel guilty for taking up their time, offer your support the next time they need help.

Take Time Off

Every six months or so, take some time off work and disconnect as much as possible. Don’t feel guilty about it. You deserve time to yourself or with your loved ones. There is no shortage of research about how important it is for your mental health to get regular breaks from work to decompress and reset. It gives you something to look forward to, time to reflect and practice gratitude. Time off also helps build resilience.

Accept Anxiety

The more you fear anxiety, the more powerful it can become. Part of reducing anxiety is accepting that sometimes work is going to make you feel that way. This is a lot easier said than done, but it comes with practice. So, next time you feel your thoughts and heartbeat start to race, take a moment, sit at your desk and tell yourself: “I feel anxious right now and that’s okay. I’m uncomfortable with this feeling and that’s okay. I don’t know how long this will last, and I’m okay with that.” Tell yourself these things and mean them. It can be surprising how much this small act can help.

Workplace anxiety happens to everyone. But for those who experience it regularly, it’s not something you should push aside or ignore. Even if you feel stressed out and under pressure, it’s important to take time to manage your anxiety. Work is important, but it’s not worth your mental health.

 

By Laura Greenstein 

https://www.nami.org/Blogs/NAMI-Blog/February-2018/What-To-Do-if-Your-Workplace-is-Anxiety-Inducing