Why is it so Hard to Trust Myself?

“I -don’t-trust-myself”.

There are many factors that can impact difficulty trusting-yourself. Being true to yourself in the choices that you make can be hard, especially when there is fear of judgement and the need for others’ approval. You may fear things like disappointing others, making the wrong choice, or regretting your decision later. You may also be lacking inner confidence in being decisive. From school or career choices, relationships, and everyday decisions who are you trusting to make the ultimate decision?

If you struggle with trusting yourself, here are five tips:

Get to Know Yourself

Consider setting up a weekly therapy appointment, spending some quiet time to reflect, and getting to truly know yourself. Showing up and being regularly present for yourself are simple ways to get to know yourself better.

Tune Into Your Thoughts & Feelings

Begin to turn to yourself (and tune in) first before turning to others for advice. Explore your own thoughts and feelings, giving important to both emotion and logic. Your inner voice can be immensely powerful.

Recognize Your Input is Valuable

You are the best expert on your own life. Friends, family, and even your therapist only know aspects of yourself that you share. You can seek input from others who are important to you but be sure to give your input the weight it also deserves!

Allow Yourself to Sit with Uncertainty

There is no guarantee that a decision will have the desired outcome. You may find yourself beginning to doubt, question, or seek reassurance. Some may avoid taking the risk to become vulnerable in relationship to prevent being hurt but in turn, may miss out in a deeper connection. It is OK to sit with some uncertainty, even though it is uncomfortable. Try regulating your body in the moment by breathing through heightened times of stress.

Live Authentically

Making decisions that are in alignment with your values will help you live a more authentic life. When making decisions to please others, you may end up trying to convince yourself that you value what others value. Identifying your core-values can help.

Written By : Charlotte Johnson, MA, LPCC