Kid strategy of the week:

Colored Candy Go-Round: This is a family therapy exercise that the therapist can facilitate with the Ct and their caregivers. Direct the family to prepare a package of Skittles, M and M’s, or other colored candy. Pass out 5-7 pieces to each family member, and ask them to sort their candies by color (without eating them yet). Ask each family member to go around and pick a color that they have and share how many they have. For however many candies of this color they have, instruct them to give the same number of responses to the following prompts coinciding with the color:

Green – words to describe your family;

Purple – ways your family has fun;

Orange – things you would like to improve about your family;

Red – things you worry about;

Yellow – favorite memories with your family.

After a family member has answered a question, they can eat their candies. When everyone has taken a turn, facilitate a discussion using the following questions:

What did you learn?

What was the most surprising thing you learned about someone else?

How will you work towards making changes/improvements?

Source: http://www.lianalowenstein.com/articleFamilyTherapy.pdf

Source: https://positivepsychology.com/family-therapy/

Sample progress note: The focus of this session was… The therapist facilitated a family therapy exercise (Colored Candy Go-Round) to facilitate deeper family relationships, increased intimacy between child and caregivers, and build attachment. Ct and their caregivers (engaged/did not engage in the activity), and they reported that the activity was (helpful/difficult/not helpful).

Couples strategy of the week:

Strengthening Relationships with Rituals: As John Gottman once said, “the creation of a relationship and a family involve the active creation of a new culture that has never existed before.” One way to actively create strong relationships and culture in your family is to create shared meaning through rituals. Some examples include family dinners, drinking coffee together in the morning, holidays, game nights, and more. What rituals did your family have growing up? What rituals do you have now within your relationship, family, and friendships? What rituals would you like to have?

Sample progress note: The focus of this session was…. The therapist provided psychoeducation about creating shared meaning in relationships through rituals and helped the couple explore their experiences and aspirations related to rituals with family, friends, and each other. The couple reported that exploring rituals was (helpful/interesting/disappointing/enlightening/etc), and they were (able/unable) to identify ways to incorporate rituals into their lives to create shared meaning.

Adult strategy of the week:

Remembering Important Dates: Acknowledging the important dates in loved ones’ lives can help you strengthen your relationships by showing them that you care about them. Important dates can include birthdays, anniversaries, difficult milestones, big job interviews, or a medical appointment. There are a lot of different ways to keep track of these dates, and finding a system that works for you can help you stay on top of important dates. Some ideas include using an online or paper calendar, creating reminders on one (or more) of your devices, or post-it notes around your house. It may also be helpful to think about how you want to acknowledge the date (e.g., sending a text, giving a gift, etc).

Sample Progress Note: The focus of this session was… The therapist helped the client explore strategies to maintain and strengthen relationships (e.g., remembering and acknowledging important dates). The client reported that the strategies to maintain and strengthen relationships were (helpful/unhelpful/etc), and the client (identified/explored/etc) several different ways to remember and acknowledge loved ones’ important dates.

Meditation/Mindfulness strategy of the week:

Compassion Meditation: Often, we experience a variety of both positive and negative emotions around family during this season of elections and upcoming holidays. This meditation practice can be used to cultivate compassion for a loved one, for the self, and for a difficult relationship. Therapists can use all or portions of this meditation in session depending on what the Ct needs.

Source: https://ggia.berkeley.edu/practice/compassion_meditation

Sample progress note: The focus of this session was… The therapist led a meditation activity (Compassion Meditation). Ct. (engaged/did not engage in the activity), and they reported that the activity was (helpful/difficult/not helpful).

Settling

Please settle into a comfortable position and allow yourself to relax.

Take a deep breath and release. [2 seconds] For a few moments, just focus on your breath and clear your mind of worries. Notice when you are breathing in … and breathing out. Let yourself experience and be aware of the sensations of breathing. [10 seconds]

Loving-kindness & Compassion for a Loved One

Picture someone who is close to you, someone toward whom you feel a great amount of love. Notice how this love feels in your heart.

Notice the sensations around your heart. Perhaps you feel a sensation of warmth, openness, and tenderness. [10 seconds]

Continue breathing, and focus on these feelings as you visualize your loved one. As you breathe out, imagine that you are extending a golden light that holds your warm feelings from the center of your heart. Imagine that the golden light reaches out to your loved one, bringing him or her peace and happiness. At the same time, silently recite these phrases.

May you have happiness.

May you be free from suffering.

May you experience joy and ease.

May you have happiness.

May you be free from suffering.

May you experience joy and ease.

[1 minute]

As you silently repeat these phrases, remember to extend the golden light to your loved one from your heart. Feel with all your heart that you wish your loved one happiness and freedom from suffering.

Compassion for a Loved One

Now think of a time when this person was suffering. Maybe they experienced an illness, an injury, or a difficult time in a relationship. [15 seconds]

Notice how you feel when you think of his or her suffering. How does your heart feel? Do the sensations change? Do you continue to feel warmth, openness and tenderness? Are there other sensations, perhaps an aching sensation? [10 seconds]

Continue to visualize your loved one as you breathe.  Imagine that you are extending the golden light from your heart to your loved one, and that the golden light is easing his or her suffering. Extend this light out to them during your exhalation, with the strong heartfelt wish that they be free from his or her suffering. Recite silently to him or her:

May you be free from this suffering.

May you have joy and happiness.

May you be free from this suffering.

May you have joy and happiness.

[1 minute]

Notice how this feels in your heart. What happened to your heart? Did the sensations change? Did you continue to feel warmth, openness and tenderness? Were there other sensations, an aching sensation perhaps? Did you have a wish to take away the other’s suffering?  [30 seconds]

Compassion for Self

Contemplate a time when you have suffered yourself. Perhaps you experienced a conflict with someone you care about, or did not succeed in something you wanted, or were physically ill. [15 seconds]

Notice how you feel when you think of your suffering. How does your heart feel? Do you continue to feel warmth, openness, and tenderness? Are there other sensations, perhaps an aching sensation? [10 seconds]

Just as we wish for our loved one’s suffering to end, we wish that our own suffering would end. We may also envision our own pain and suffering leaving us so that we may experience happiness.

Continue to visualize yourself as you breathe. Imagine that the golden light emanating from your heart is easing your suffering. With each exhalation, feel the light emanating within you, with the strong heartfelt wish that you be free from your suffering. Silently recite to yourself:

May I be free from this suffering.

May I have joy and happiness.

May I be free from this suffering.

May I have joy and happiness.

[2 minutes]

Again, notice how this feels in your heart. What kind of sensations did you feel? Did they change from when you were envisioning your own suffering? How is this feeling different from when you wished your loved one’s suffering to be relieved? Did you feel warmth, openness and tenderness? Were there other sensations such as pressure? Did you have a wish to take away your own suffering? [30 seconds]

Compassion for a Neutral Person

Now visualize someone you neither like nor dislike—someone you may see in your everyday life, such as a classmate with whom you are not familiar, a bus driver, or a stranger you pass on the street. [5 seconds]

Although you are not familiar with this person, think of how this person may suffer in his or her own life. This person may also have conflicts with loved ones, or struggled with an addiction, or may have suffered illness. Imagine a situation in which this person may have suffered. [30 seconds]

Notice your heart center. Does it feel different? Do you feel more warmth, openness and tenderness? Are there other sensations, perhaps an aching sensation? How does your heart feel different from when you were envisioning your own or a loved one’s suffering?  [10 seconds]

Continue to visualize this person as you breathe. Imagine that you are extending the golden light from your heart to them, and that the golden light is easing his or her suffering. Extend this light out to them during your exhalation, with the strong heartfelt wish that he or she be free from suffering. See if this wish can be as strong as the wish for your own or a loved one’s suffering to be relieved.  Silently recite to him or her:

May you be free from this suffering.

May you have joy and happiness.

May you be free from this suffering.

May you have joy and happiness.

[2 minutes]

Again, notice how this feels in your heart. Did the sensations change from when you were envisioning this person’s suffering? Did you continue to feel warmth, openness and tenderness? Were there other sensations? Did you have a wish to take away this person’s suffering? How were these feelings different from when you were wishing to take away your own or a loved one’s suffering? [30 seconds]

Compassion for an Enemy

Now visualize someone with whom you have difficulty in your life. This may be a parent or child with whom you disagree, an ex-girlfriend or boyfriend, a roommate with whom you had an argument, or a co-worker with whom you do not get along. [5 seconds]

Although you may have negative feelings towards this person, think of how this person has suffered in his or her own life. This person has also had conflicts with loved ones, or has dealt with failures, or may have suffered illness. Think of a situation in which this person may have suffered. [30 seconds]

Notice your heart center. Does it feel different? Do you feel more warmth, openness and tenderness? Are there other sensations, perhaps an aching sensation? How does your heart feel different from when you were envisioning your own or a loved one’s suffering? [10 seconds]

Continue to visualize this person as you breathe. Imagine that you are extending the golden light from your heart to him or her, and that the golden light is easing his or her suffering. Extend this light out to him or her during your exhalation, with the strong heartfelt wish that he or she be free from suffering. See if this wish can be as strong as the wish for your own or a loved one’s suffering to be relieved. Silently recite to him or her:

May you be free from this suffering.

May you have joy and happiness

May you be free from this suffering.

May you have joy and happiness.

[1 minute]

If you have difficulty in wishing for this person’s suffering to be relieved, you may think of a positive interaction you have had with this person that can help you in wishing them joy and happiness. Perhaps there were times when you got along, laughed together, or worked well together on an assignment. Continue to silently recite:

May you be free from this suffering.

May you have joy and happiness.

[2 minutes]

Again, notice how this feels in your heart. Did the sensations change? Did you feel warmth, openness and tenderness? How were these feelings different from when you were wishing for your own or a loved one’s suffering to end? Were there other sensations, perhaps a tightness in the chest? Did you have a wish to take away this person’s suffering? [30 seconds]

Compassion for All Beings

Now that we are almost at the end of this meditation, let’s end with a wish for all other beings’ suffering to be relieved. Just as I wish to have peace, happiness, and to be free from suffering, so do all beings. [10 seconds]

Now bask in the joy of this open-hearted wish to ease the suffering of all people and how this attempt brings joy, happiness, and compassion in your heart at this very moment.

You have now finished this compassion meditation session.