The decision to end a relationship can be traumatic, chaotic, and filled with contradictory emotions. There are also specific feelings, attitudes, and dynamics associated with whether one is in the role of the initiator or the receiver of the decision to break up. For example, it is not unusual for the initiator to experience fear, relief, distance, impatience, resentment, doubt, and guilt. Likewise, when a party has not initiated the divorce, they may feel shock, betrayal, loss of control, victimization, decreased self-esteem, insecurity, anger, a desire to “get even,” and wishes to reconcile. In the past, we read that children of divorce suffered from depression, failed in school, and got in trouble with the law. Children with depression and conduct disorders showed indications of those problems pre-divorce because there was parental conflict pre-divorce. Researchers now view conflict, rather than the divorce or residential schedule, as the single most critical determining factor in children’s post-divorce adjustment. The children who succeed after divorce, have parents who can communicate effectively and work together as parents. If you or a family member is going through a divorce, has gone through a divorce, or has been contemplating divorce, it may be time to reach out for help.
Treatment at CARE Counseling for working through mental health struggles surrounding divorce may include exploring acceptance, focusing on the future, taking responsibility for their own actions (now and during the marriage), and acting with integrity.
Learn more about divorce counseling here