How to support/date someone who is grieving?

When people are grieving it is important to:

• • Give them space and their own time to grieve
  • Grief can take on the forms of many different emotions, make sure to give loved one reassurance that the emotions they are feeling normal
  • Encourage engagement in activities which can help reduce stress, and anxiety

Ways to help:

• • Acknowledge the situation when you are with them – this will show them that you are open to discussing this with them
  • Express concern and be empathetic
  • Rather than assuming how they feel, ask how they feel as emotions can be changing all of the time
  • Accept their feelings let them know it is ok for them to experience their emptions in front of you
  • Be genuine in your communication or lack thereof. If they need to sit in silence, then you can sit in silence with them, if they need to talk be there to listen
  • Offer support and practical ways for you to help such as shop for groceries, run errands, make dinner, do the housework, etc.

Watch for warning signs of depression and suggest they get help if you believe it may be serious, take talking about suicide very seriously and get them immediate help. Below you will find some suicide resources:

• • COPE: 612-596-1223
  • CRISIS: Text HOME to 741741

How do men and women grieve differently?

Although there is not one correct way to grieve, it has been found that there are similarities and differences in the way men and women grieve. While nothing is completely set in stone common patterns have emerged among the way men and women and the way they grieve.

• Females typically focus on connection, they display their grief more often, and are more likely to openly talk about their loss, reach out if they need help, and seek more support and intimacy than men.

• Males typically keep grief to themselves; they might work more or harder to avoid displaying their grief to others. Men are more independent and refrain from asking for help. Men often think their way through grief and use intellect instead of emotion. Men tend to focus on themselves and are self-reliant and independent.

• It is important to understand that because men and women can grieve differently that does not mean that one person cares more about the loss than the other because each is expressing their own grief which might present itself in different ways. Another important consideration is that different cultures may have different views on death and dying and have other ways that they grieve or that is typical for men or women in that society.

If you or someone you care about needs professional help or support to process your feelings of loss and gain understanding around your experience of grief, reach out to the clinicians at CARE Counseling to support you in your steps toward healing.