Stress: Reasons We Feel It and How to Manage It

Why We Stress

When you experience stress, your body reacts as though it is under attack and usually you go into fight or flight mode. That is, you either defend yourself or remove yourself from the situation. In certain cases, you may also “freeze” or “fawn.” Freezing can feel like going numb, where you can’t think clearly or move. Fawning happens when, for example, you feel threatened by someone and try to calm them down to protect yourself.

In any case, stress motivates you to protect yourself, and then you return to your regular state.

A Way to Manage

Control what you can: When you focus on controlling what you can, it helps narrow your attention and calm you. Once you’re calmer, you’re more likely able to think through how to manage the stress, or at least the parts of it within your control. Depending on the situation, you may need to:

• Find a way to avoid the trigger
• Decide to do something differently if it were to happen again
• Remove yourself from the situation
• Accept it’s something you cannot change

For example, if your co-worker often tries to get you to reveal confidential information or wants to gossip about others, you could:

• Choose not to engage and instead steer the conversation in another direction
• Tell your colleague politely but directly that you prefer not to discuss such topics
• Limit the time you spend with the co-worker, such as by excusing yourself from the conversation or scheduling shorter meetings