5 Reasons Why Affirmations Are Not Working for You

Affirmations are powerful. Positive statements about yourself impact your thoughts, feelings, and beliefs. They help provide motivation for personal goals and can help improve overall well-being. Perhaps you have tried using positive affirmations and found that they are not working. Let’s look at five reasons why.

You Don’t Truly Believe Them

Let’s face it. Some of the affirmations we choose for ourselves are things that we want to be true, but don’t believe. How you currently view yourself may seem to contradict the affirmation, creating a disconnect between what you want and what you believe. Exploring your view of self, along with values, perception of characteristics, and how other influences impact beliefs may be helpful.

You Doubt Yourself

When self-limiting beliefs are present, you question the validity of the affirmation you are telling yourself and may find that you are relying on validation from others. Steps to stop seeking approval from others include being mindful in self-care practices and being surrounded by people and communities that are emotionally supportive.

Your Thoughts are Impacted by Negative Experiences

Doubts about yourself are often reinforced by negative past experiences that do not offer direct evidence to support the affirmation. This may be based on a very narrow definition of success. For example, if you struggle(d) academically, you may believe that you are not capable. Your brain can become stuck in rigid thinking patterns based on one or more negative experiences. You may find yourself engaging in “all or none thinking” such as “I’ll never ___” which can contribute to low self-esteem.

Encouragement, supportive environments, including a support team, accommodations, skills-building, and setting specific, measurable, attainable, relevant, and time-bound (SMART) goals can help provide the tools for a more positive experience and improve self-esteem.

Self-esteem and Self-worth are Low

It will be a lot more difficult to change beliefs about yourself when self-esteem is low. You may already struggle with how you think and feel about yourself but when you also struggle with low self-worth, you may struggle with finding your value as a person. For example, those who are experiencing depression or coping with trauma may have thoughts and feelings of worthlessness. Working with a mental health professional to help create a foundation of safety and stability can help prepare the way to build self-esteem and self-worth.

Positive Affirmations Don’t Feel Genuine

For affirmations to be effective, they should hold personal meaning and be authentic to the individual. Sometimes affirmations can feel fake, as if you are lying to yourself. Especially if you are prone to a more pessimistic way of thinking, trying to shift your mindset using positive affirmations may not feel genuine. Going from “negative to neutral” is a great strategy to help gradually shift thinking.

When practiced regularly, affirmations can be life-changing; however, there are other areas to address to help them become effective. If affirmations are not working for you, consider talking to a mental health therapist to help address self-limiting beliefs, negative/ traumatic experiences, and feelings that impact your view of self.

Written By: Charlotte Johnson, MA, LPCC

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