Building Youth Confidence

It is time to help level the playing field. “Confidence Code for Girls” uncovered some surprising findings on girl’s levels of confidence. Results of the nationwide quantitative online survey by Ypulse, completed by participants ages 8-18 revealed that between the ages of 8 to 14, girl’s confidence levels dropped by 30%. More than half of teen girls feel pressure to be “perfect.” Similar studies suggest boys’ confidence is much higher than girls in the same developmental period. It appears that differences in socialization and culture are factors, as boys are typically encouraged to take risks and be assertive which can bolster self-confidence. It’s time we close the confidence gap between boys and girls.

Here are 5 Ways to Build Self-Confidence (especially for girls!)

Focus on Strengths and Interests

Utilizing a strengths-based approach highlights a child’s strengths and builds on self-confidence in beliefs about oneself and one’s abilities. Notice a child’s interests. Encourage children and youth to participate in areas that they are interested in as this helps provide opportunities to develop strengths. Sometimes, parents can unintentionally engender doubts by asking questions such as, “Are you SURE that you want to ____?” This may be based on parents’ doubts and desire to protect from risk and failure and is especially harmful to girls who already feel pressure to be perfect and worry about failing. Supporting strengths and interests from an early age is one way to build self-confidence.

Encourage Participation in Sports

Participation in sports encourages children to take bold risks, develop skills to build confidence in abilities and experience losing and winning within a team environment. Having support from a positive role model such as a coach to reinforce positive messaging, encourage, and believe in one’s abilities is important. Individual and team sports are great ways to build confidence.

Address Mental Health Needs

Mental health needs must be addressed for all. Girls are struggling with their mental health, such as depression and anxiety. Did you know that 1 in 3 girls experience symptoms of depression compared to 1 in 10 boys? Social medial and societal expectations perpetuate negative stereotypes and unrealistic expectations that contribute to pressures, comparison, low self-esteem, and pursuit of perfection. It is hard to not let these areas impact mental health. Support is available. A mental health specialist can assess for common mental health concerns and develop a plan to work with your child or teen.

Let Go of the Pressure to be Perfect

Embracing imperfections helps to accept all parts of oneself. Girls tend to struggle with the pressure to be perfect. Examples include people-pleasing, pressures to fit in, and struggles with body image. There is an incredible sense of freedom to let go of perfectionism and fully embrace one’s authentic and more confident self.

Provide Exposure to Positive Role Models and Empowering Messaging

Empowering messaging helps to counter negative messaging, including depressive thought patterns. We have the power to help instill confidence in young people. Therapists can help young people build self-confidence, and support them with whatever challenges they are experiencing. Parents, friends, and family are some of the most important role models. Teachers, coaches, spiritual-religious leaders, mentors, social media influencers, and community members can all help to counter negative messaging and unrealistic standards by being positive role models and teaching self-respect and self-love.

All children (adults too!), regardless of gender, need access to empowering and inclusive messaging and role models that build confidence in one’s full potential to achieve their dreams.

I will leave you all with a positive affirmation practice that was part of a cultural practice at elementary schools where I provided school-based mental health services. The pledge is recited by students each morning and is an excellent example of empowering messaging recited by students and staff.

I am somebody.

I am capable and loveable.

I am teachable and therefore I can learn.

I can do anything when I try.

I can be the best that I can be.

Each day. Each day. Each day.

I will not waste time.

Because it’s too valuable

And I’m too precious and bright.

I am somebody. I am somebody. I am somebody.

—Andreal Davis

Written By: Charlotte Johnson, MA, LPCC

The information featured on this site is general in nature. The site provides health information designed to complement your personal health management. It does not provide medical advice or health services and is not meant to replace professional advice or imply coverage of specific clinical services or products. The inclusion of links to other websites does not imply any endorsement of the material on such websites. The inclusion of links to other websites does not imply any endorsement of the material on such websites. The information provided in this blog post reflects the personal views of the author. The blog post contains general health information and is not a substitute for your doctor’s care. Please discuss with your doctor how the information provided is right for you.